Erin's Mistakes | ✔

Seventeen

Carter kissed me!

He had leaned forward and planted his lips right on mine.

He kissed me.

My mind raced as I sat in the sand next to the person I used to dream would kiss me and here we were. He had done it. It's been a year since the last time I had felt his lips and it brought back every memory. Every spark that was ever there. But I felt guilty. I felt horribly sick. I needed to throw up.

He kissed me.

"I have to go," I jumped from my seat on the sand. My legs didn't want to... but I forced them to move. I needed to leave. I had to get out of here. Carter kissed me and it was all too much. He was engaged... I was engaged. What was he thinking? How was I going to tell Andrew? Would I tell Andrew? I shook my head. Of course, I had to tell Andrew he had the right to know. My body shook as I drew myself further away from Carter.

He kissed me.

My mind racing, my lips tingling from where they had been touched. I wanted him to do it again. I wanted to run back into his arms. He would pick me up and spin me around as he...kissed me.

But instead, I ran away.

I turned on my heel and I sprinted until my legs wouldn't go any further. I searched for Clara, my mind wandering back to the man I had left behind. Why was I always running away?

Clara sat in a blue and white pool chair with her legs raised and her head thrown back as if she was sleeping. A group of guy and girls sit around her in similar chairs. I nearly didn't recognize her, except for the tattoo I knew she had on her right foot. I tried to catch my breath for a moment as the group of teenagers staring at me like a psychopath. Clara pulls her glasses down her nose as if she was trying to see who was blocking her sun. I exhaled rapidly as she shoots out of her chair wrapping her arms around me.

"You finally broke out of your slump and decided to come outside," She smiles as she spins me around. Suddenly a wave of sickness hit me and I pushed her away. Holding my stomach while I pray not to vomit on the sand, not right here, not right now.

I shook my head violently. Maybe she would understand that something was seriously wrong. She grabbed my arm pulling me up the beach closer to the sidewalk. Closer to the hotel.

"Erin, what is wrong with you?" She wrapped her arm around me now, her hand patting my back as she tries to calm me down.

"He kissed me..." I felt the words, cold and filled with guilt on my lips. Clara's eyes opened wide as she searches the beach around us for any sign of who I was talking about. Once she had completed that she grabbed my shoulders, holding me directly in front of her.

"Carter?" She questioned, but she already knew. Her voice a whisper, filled with so many emotions and thoughts that I knew she already knew.

"Yes," I managed to whimper out in my stupor.

"What? How did this happen?" I shook my head, the tears rolling freely down my face. I needed to get out of this state, it seemed like everything that had happened on this trip was worse than the last and I wasn't sure I was going to make it two more weeks.

"I don't know how it happened," I paused for a moment trying to figure out what to say. I really had no clue how it had happened. One minute everything was fine but the next he had leaned down and the damage was already done. I felt awful. I had hurt Kylie without even knowing it, and honestly, she deserved it. But she didn't, as much as a gold digger she was nobody deserves what Carter and I had done. My mind was racing. "I took a surf class and Carter was there,"