mute | jimin

[20]

Y / N

You stare intently at Jimin, who takes a deep breath before speaking again.

"First of all, I'm really, really sorry for my bad attitude towards you the first time we've met," he shakes his head apologetically. "It's just that I assumed too quickly. I didn't know what was wrong with me either, but at that point, I assumed that you were, um, toxic."

Jimin scrunches up his face, eyes roaming around the room in search for an appropriate word to describe what he had thought of you.

"Well, not really toxic, but like, you know, the kind of person that you wouldn't really want to get close to," he gulps a few times, a nervous expression painting his face as he questions his own choice of words.

"The reason?" he questions rhetorically, then pauses. He sighs.

"A few years ago, I was caught up in self-harm."

You looked away from him when he said it and pulled the sleeves of your hoodie lower down your arms.

Your scars seemed to burn when he mentioned self-harm.

Jimin's eyes flicker to the direction of your arms, which were hidden beneath the table.

You didn't think he would notice your actions, but the look in his eyes state otherwise.

"Don't try hiding it, Y/N," he said. "I've seen them."

You were taken aback.

He knew about the marks on your arms?

You thought you were going to feel embarrassed, but you felt nothing like that.

In fact, you looked up at him and waited for him to continue speaking.

But he doesn't speak.

He just pulls the sleeves of his sweater up, fast enough for you to catch a glimpse of the lines that cut across his wrist before pulling it down.

You wonder how you've never noticed them.

Then he says, "I cut because I thought that it would remind me that there was greater pain than what I was feeling at the moment. But I was wrong. The pain I was feeling couldn't ever be compared to that of the sharpness that was slicing my skin open.

"So I continued dragging blades over my skin because it felt good. It made me feel strong. That I could survive pain that was a hundred times worse than drawing my own blood and relishing at the feeling.

"I did it because I was a victim of bullying at my old school. I was beaten up, punched and slapped. The part of my body they hurt the most was my neck, for some reason. Then they always took my money. My parents were rich, and cash meant the world to them. They didn't even bother to take a second look at me when I returned home with bruises peppered all over my neck. They probably thought they were hickeys or something, and I never cared enough to explain that they weren't.

"The reason I was targeted was probably because I was so vulnerable. I was weak, skinny and a coward. I think even the teachers disliked me. And I was so stupid that I always carried so much cash around with me. My parents gave me so much at one time so that I could buy anything I wanted and as much as I wanted without running out of money so that I wouldn't have to ask them for more. They simply didn't want me to disturb them so that they could earn more and more money to satisfy their greed for it.

"There was once where the bullying got so bad that I couldn't handle it anymore. I didn't stop at just one cut, I continued hurting myself, even moving on to my other wrist. I was so high in the pain that I didn't care anymore. I embraced it, and soon it grew to become a part of me.

"I didn't know that I had lost too much blood that night, and while I was on the way home it made me feel so giddy and lightheaded that I was staggering and crawling on the floor, dripping blood everywhere.

"All I remembered before I blacked out were faint footsteps up ahead of me and frantic shouts for help. I woke up the next day in a hospital ward with an unknown girl sleeping next to me on a chair, and I freaked out because I thought I was already dead. She woke up and called the nurses. I don't know how I managed to calm down, because I knew that I was still thinking I died the whole time.

"Then the girl told me she found me on the street, almost bleeding to death, and assured me I wasn't dead yet. It was then I realised how I had flirted with death and almost fell into its grasp. And I don't think I would ever forget. That's the reason why I'm still alive. She's the reason why I'm still alive. Actually, she's the reason for a lot of things."

Jimin paused when the waiter entered the room with a tray of food, and after the food had been set down on the table and the waiter exited.

It had such a familiar taste of home and it was so amazing that you almost teared up at the first bite.

Jimin told you that he would continue the story later, but he began speaking again when you threatened to empty the glass of water over his head.

"To cut the long story short, I fell in love with her," he said, before shoving noodles into his mouth, unbothered about his image.

You stopped chewing, staring at him with interest, and at the same time taking in his puffed-up cheeks.

Cute.

You watched him swallow his food, and to your dismay, he shoved more into his mouth.

He didn't seem to want to talk about this.

The both of you continued eating in silence, but every bite was so good it didn't really bother you much.

It wasn't long before you had devoured the whole meal, and you let out a burp.

Your hand shot up to cover your mouth, your cheeks blushing a furious shade of red.

Jimin snorts and leans back against his seat, finished with his food as well.

"Was the food good?" he asks after eyeing your tinged face.

You nod vigorously.

He smiles at you, shoulders and chest rising up and down as he takes breaths.

You tilt your head to the side, wondering whether or not he would start on his story again.

And he did.

However, it was nothing like what you wanted to hear. It was nothing like what anyone would want to hear.

And it certain wasn't anything like a romantic love story.

"She broke my heart," Jimin choked out.

[A/N]
UNEDITED

sometimes i wonder why my wig always disappears whenever bts has a comeback

imma say bye to it again AHKSHSKABABA TONIGHT 5PM ANSWER AHAISHAKANAN

sry for the long chapter