The Conductor {Black Lightning}{Wattys2018}

Ch. 11: Thank God It's Friday

Dread weighed Eugene down when she woke up Friday morning. The only thing motivating her to get out of bed was the fact that Mom would be pissed if she wasn't on time for their morning Hoon Dok Hae sessions.

Hoon Dok Hae was a tradition from a church Eugene's mother had once attended called the Unification Movement. It was a Korean word that roughly translated to "gathering for reading and learning." The actual tradition involved getting up early in the morning and reading something to spiritually start the day off right.

One of the main aspects of Hoon Dok Hae in the Unification Movement was that you had to be spiritually invested and anything that distracted you was Satan. Eugene knew she wasn't going to be spiritually invested at all that morning, but there was something comforting about thinking of Tobias and the One Hundred as Satan. After all, they were the people who started all of this mess.

By the time Eugene finally psyched herself into getting up, Anissa had already left. So Eugene sat in the kitchen alone, thinking of ways she could convince Anissa not to go to the march. She didn't know why she sat there for so long; she'd lost her appetite and didn't even eat anything. Moping in the kitchen wouldn't help anyone, but Eugene didn't want to face Mom and do Hoon Dok Hae either.

"Well, aren't you just a bouncing ball of energy," Mom told her when she opened the door.

"Not really," said Eugene, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

Mom stared up at the ceiling, sighing heavily. "Bloomin' heck, you're too tired to detect sarcasm. Come on, let's get you inside and read something interesting. True Father's autobiography sound good?"

True Father was the founder of the movement. Pretty much every Unificationist had heard or read at least some of his autobiography, but Eugene didn't mind reading it again. At least she could pretend to pay attention.

Clumsily entering the living room, Eugene followed Mom to the offering table where they prepared to bow to the picture of True Father and his wife.

"Hananim Abeoji, Cham Bumonim," Mom said reverently. Heavenly Father, True Parents. "Kyung nae." Bow.

Even with a hip replacement, Mom bowed properly, using the couch to gracefully get onto the floor one knee at a time. But when Eugene did it, she just ended up falling flat on her face.

Mom let out a restrained cough before continuing the ritual. "Bah ro." Return to starting position.

Eugene groaned. She really didn't want to get up.

"I said--" Mom didn't even try to contain her grin as she stood up and looked down at Eugene. "--bah ro."

"Stop laughing at meee!" Eugene whined, glaring up at her.

"I'll stop laughing at you when you get up, you useless lesbian." Mom rolled her eyes. "Come on, we don't have all morning."

'I'm pansexual, actually."

"Well, either way, you're useless right now, so please get up!"

***

"Since you were a slowpoke getting up, it's your turn to do opening prayer," Mom told Eugene as they finally sat down to read.

Eugene huffed.

"Come on," said Mom. "It's just talking to God. God's lonely. They want to hear from you. You can pray with your eyes open if closing them feels too weird or makes you fall asleep."

Eugene didn't think praying was weird; there were much weirder things in her life than talking to invisible beings. She just felt guilty for praying. Joining the One Hundred hadn't stopped her from believing in God, but it had damaged her relationship with Them. Why would God want to hear from her, of all people?

But of course, she couldn't tell Mom all of that. "Fine. I'll pray," she said, clasping her hands together and closing her eyes. 

"Uh...Dear, Heavenly Parent. I thank You for waking me up this morning. I pray that You can keep me awake during Hoon Dok Hae and help me appreciate it. I pray that You keep everyone going to Reverend Holt's march safe.

And I understand if You ignore this prayer because I'm the last one who should be saying it, but I really don't want Anissa or any of them to die. I'd say sorry, but You're probably tired of hearing it, she added silently. "Uh...I pray this in my name. Aju."

"Everything okay, darling?" Mom asked, caressing Eugene's cheek and brushing away a tear. 

Eugene hadn't even noticed that she'd been crying. This was why she didn't pray. "Just my eyes watering. Sleepiness and all," she replied, smiling feebly. "You were right. I probably should've kept my eyes open."

"You sure you're okay?"

"I'm just tired," Eugene insisted

"My Mother Phony Detector is going off the charts," said Mom, tilting her head as her eyes bore into Eugene with a piercing look. "I can tell when you're fibbing, baby."

That only made Eugene feel worse. If Mom knew the number of times Eugene had fibbed and lied - if she knew what Eugene lied about - she would've smacked Eugene upside the head with her cane. And if Eugene still lived with her, she would've kicked her out, too.

But if Eugene clammed up more, Mom would only get nosier, so she decided to tell the truth. Or at least some of it.

"I'm just worried about the march," she said. "Jennifer and Khalil are going."

Mom frowned. "They are? I hope someone's going with them."

"Anissa is, but--"

"Oooh, that's even worse," Mom said, grimacing.

"Yeah," said Eugene. Mom had finished her thoughts for her. "I just...what if they--?"

"Shhh. If you don't say it, it's less likely to happen."

Eugene buried her head in her hands. It was going to happen whether she said it or not. And there was nothing she could about it.

"Can we just read?"