Chapter 7

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The group of near-perfect friends walked around a corner and into an enclosed courtyard where in the middle of this plot of land is a shack that is constructed to look like a house made of tin. The metal around the tiny place is rusted and dull, likely caused by the elements of inclement weather and wind storms. The newest member of the group looks on in horror and confusion as the Baudelaires and the Quagmires approach the wobbly looking structure, which means that it would fall over with the slightest form of impact, such as a man being spun around many times as his cloth headpiece is unwound and he bumps into it, causing it to tip over.

The group opens the door, which swings out sideways to reveal further forms of horror inside.

"Home sweet home," Klaus muttered under his breath as he and his sisters sit down on bales of hay that lay about in the corners of the tin shack.

Holly S. realized almost immediately that this place is inhospitable, a phrase which means that no one should ever have to live inside of it because it does not provide any of the comforts, joys, or reassurance of safety, as a place probably should be to even consider it a home. A basket in the river, a cupboard under a wooden staircase, or a box on a dusty road are examples of particularly harsh places for one to call home. I, myself have ended up living in places that can hardly be considered safe or comfortable. For example, after I'd lost the love of the woman I loved, I resigned myself for a time of living in a cave that was devoid of sunlight, it was cold, wet, and dank instead of warm, and filled with bats, which did not make me feel safe in the slightest. You might believe that I would despise living in such a horrid place, but I did not want to see the light from the sun because it reminded me of more joyful times; I would often enjoy meeting my beloved on sunny days which were warm and pleasant and quite often her eyes and hair would glow in the bright beams from above. The cold wetness dripping from the stone ceilings mixed well with my tears of sorrow and perfectly matched my anguished depression. And lastly, the flying companions which often hung upside down from the cave were blind, unable to see my face filled with sorrow and they themselves could not feel emotion, something I would envy of them for how ever long I remained there.

What eventually moved me out of my melancholy state and the inhospitable place I had called home was that one of the trained bats of a particular organization brought me a message in which I read by the narrow beam of a flashlight. The woman I loved had sent me a plea for help; a notorious villain had discovered her engagement to another man and had become dead set upon ending her life before she could ever walk down the aisle. My loyalty from our long years of companionship forced me to leave the cave from which I was hiding and travel up into the mountains to a secret headquarters to meet her.

Alas, the note became soaked in the water mixed with my salty tears and the remains were eaten by another flying cave creature, so I cannot replicate the complete message, but the statement that has stayed with me all these years was,

Bring a mask.

BB

However, what Holly S. found in this tiny place in which the Baudelaires appeared to be living was much, much worse than the cave I had hidden in. She noticed immediately that there was a horrendous smell radiating from the shack. To her, it smelled like rotten bananas or the death of an animal, possibly a flying rodent. In fact, she expected to see such creatures hanging upside down in this tiny tin room, but instead, there were long chunks of fungus that dripped down in occasional drips. Holly had to shift her body over several times to avoid being hit by the foul-looking mildew. The walls of the structure were once painted a bright green and had tiny pink hearts painted in random places. Fortunately, the age of the shack and splatterings of the fungus had covered the hideous paint job which would have made the place look like a tacky and unflattering Valentine's card. The girl then felt a sharp pain at her foot and saw a fairly large looking crab pinching at her toe. It appeared to be trying to defend its territory that was this miserable shack. The only things that could be considered comfortable or safe was a picture of the family on the tin wall, yet it did contain drips of fungus on it and the spinning light fixture which projected images of sea creatures onto the walls. Holly immediately realized that Violet Baudelaire had invented a method in which to keep the crawling critters at bay, but several of them had yet to find a hiding spot under the rotting floorboards and the creatures found the newcomer to their home unpleasant and in need of a good pinch.

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