Life After You

A letter to Ollie ( Prologue )

Dear Ollie,

Im being devoured by every memory ive ever had.

I just remembered back in high school when we used to sneak out and go to the play ground at midnight. I'd push you on the swings as high as I could and despite your fear of heights, you never once complained. You just said that you knew I wouldn't let anything happen to you. You trusted me.

You once told me about the constellations, how they connected to form beautiful pictures in the night sky. I'll never forget how passionate you were about the stars. We always planned to visit them together one day. I guess you got your wish, after all.

Even though its been a year since you have left me now, I still water your flowers and buy your favourite peaches from the grocery store. That cashier, Gracie, always asks me how you're doing. I don't have the heart to tell her the story of how you left my bed cold, so I tell her of all the wondrous adventures that you're having as you fulfill your dream of being an astronaut off in New York. And for a brief moment, it actually feels like you're going to come home some day.

Even though I know you would never want me to waste food, I still fill the fridge with your favourite foods. While im restocking the fridge - you're with me again, even if its just for a moment.

I know that moving out would probably help me move on. But I refuse to leave the place where we planned to live forever to someone else; they wouldn't appreciate it as much as you did.

Speaking of houses, I was going through my old things at my parents house and I happened to stumble across my old polaroid camera hidden away in the back of the closet.

Needless to say I cried really hard when I looked at the developed photos at the department store. The clerk there even asked me if I was okay, and got me a drink of water. I felt really pathetic, but it was all worth it just to see the smile on your face again.

We were just kids then, when we fell in love. We didn't even know what it meant, but we both knew that it was true. God, take me back to the night we met. Back when we used to hide in your tree house and listen to each others heartbeat.

Life was so simple back then.

I don't know what to do now, without you. I know that it's not my fault, but I still can't help but wish that I had gone with you. My life still goes on without you, but never the way I had planned it to. Despite every reason you gave me to move on, I still can't bring myself to take your pictures down.

I'm sick of seeing your photo in my phone every time I check the time, and breaking down in tears. Why did you have to go to space without me? We were soulmates.

What the hell would I be without you?

I hope that you know that no matter what happens, you'll always be my forever. Even though I would do anything for you, I can't keep your promise of forgetting you and having a family of my own.

Even if that means dying alone.

I miss you.

Dan.