A quick A/N before you read this shit. I suggest tryna read the narration bits in Tyler's voice lol. That's how I imagined it while writing. Ok Ill shut up now :)
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Dan was chilling on the sofa, eating some cheetos, watching Barney for some reason. As he was digging around in the cheeto bag, he felt something sticky.
HE WAS SPOOKED.
"PHIL DID YOU LEAVE YOUR DICK IN THE BAG AGAIN?" He hollered.
"NO WHY WOULD I DO THAT? WE HAVE AN AGREEMENT!" Phil responded from upstairs.
"I DUNNO ITS STICKY AND WARM AND MUSHY AND I CANT SEEM TO GET IT OUT OF THE BAG SO WHAT ELSE!"
Dan tugged with the object against the bag. It was mushy, but hard as a rock, exactly why he thought it was Phil's-
THE BAG SPLIT OPEN. Cheetos flew everywhere, getting in every nook and cranny in the living room. Out with the cheetos came the object.
It was a banana.
Dan once again got spooked, he shrieked and yeeted the across the room. On the other side, the banana cracked open.
Yellow flower petals covered the room, and magically, Toyler Jesph and Jersh Done were in the living room.
Dan just stared at them. Dan was confuzzled.
"What the fuck." Was all he could say.
"Thanks Dan, Youve freed us from Dema. It was in that banana the whole time." Toyler spoke.
"What's a Dema?" Dan asked.
B I G M I S T A K E.
Josh suddenly sprung to action, as if triggered by Dan's words, and shoved him back into the banana.
Phil has just walking into the room as Dan's feet we're engulfed.
"DAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING" hE yelled.
"OH I DUNNO PHIL HAVING A TEA PARTY-"
"ThATS A GREAT IDEA" pHil cut him off.
(((Time skippity doo dah)))
They were all sitting in the kitchen, Dan still half in the banana, enjoying their tea.
"So what'll it take to get me out of the fruit?" Dan asked.
"Well we're gonna give you a curse." Jersh said casually.
"Ohjkjj. objjkay" phil was choking on his tea.
"Everytime you see a banana, youll be inclined to have sexy time."
"With the Banana?" Dan said a little too excitedly
"Sure why not."
Toyler picked up a cheeto from the floor and broke it, than they disappeared as if they were never there in the first place. Dan got his legs back but his pants were yellow. Coolio.
(((ANOTHER TIME SKIP IM TIRED)))
Phil was shopping in the grocery store, getting milk and whatnot for later, when he turned by isle 69.
Bananas.
Rows and rows of bananas.
He dropped his bags, grabbed a banan and ran right out of the store, back to their flat.
He bursted through the front door breathless and didn't even stop to close it.
"PHIL, HAVENT YOU HEARD OF CLOSING THE GODDAMN-"
"YEE" pHil cried as he smashed the banana into Dan's head.
Now they were both horny horny hippos.
Dan through himself at Phil and started undoing his clothes. In no time they were both down to their underwear hungrily making out.
They both had massive buldges sticking out of their boxers, but Dan's was really pointy for some reason. He knew his peener wasnt that skinny.
He ripped off his underwear to see that his peener in fact had been replaced by a stick.
Dan was shook.
Phil was shook.
They both started screaming.
"JKDJSKDJSKDJSK PHIL PHIL WHAT ABOUT YOURS KSJEKSJSKJ" he was dying inside.
Phil took his off to reveal a banana. A banana had replaced his dingaling.
Before he could even start to scream- Dan had already pounced on him, and bit off a piece of his peepee.
"DANNNNN" hE was scared, and it hurt.
But he kinda liked it.
Dan just kept nibbling away at his lil banana until it was gone. Phil now had a banana ladydoor.
"Oh cool. NOW ME" Dan demanded.
All Phil did was break his even tinier stick and suddenly Dan was squirting milk everywhere. Out of his eyes, his ears, his nose, his butthole.
Milk everywhere.
Soon Dan was nothing but a deflated balloon.
"Big oof." Phil said.
(Ayy its exactly 666 words at this spot.)
Phil tried to scoop up the milk with his hands, then they suddenly started melting off.
"AAAAAAAAHHHJDKFJSKFJSIJ" they were both screaming.
Phils arm turnt yellow and slowly retracted in on itself. Dans now deflated body did the same, squeezing tighter together until-
They both had became bananas.
Brendon Urie suddenly walked right through their front door, and picked them both up.
"The boys asked me to deliver you two, this is what you get when you dont close the goddamn door."
And he poofed away to Dema, leaving rainbow glitter and cheetos everywhere.
The End.
A/N
Oof this was really bad sorry to put you through that. But wanna part two? I love torturing readers.
