To All My Old Best Friends

Dear Ryan,

I know you weren't one of my best friends, but I just had to write to you, you were my father figure. I hope you're happy wherever you are, some people say that if you kill yourself, then you're in hell, but who knows where you really are. I really miss you. I love you, I tried to find you yesterday, but I couldn't find your grave. I felt really bad after that. I felt empty, like, I wasn't allowed in the little town after that. I was ashamed. You were only 20. I really miss you. I miss you so much more than you will ever know. And I don't know but for some reason, I feel like it's my fault. I don't know why I feel this way, but I do. I start school tomorrow. Then I've gotten on honor roll every year, and this is gonna be my 4th year of perfect attendance. I wish you could be here. I know you're really proud no matter what I do, but I wish you were here.
Hope your happy,
Mya ❤❤❤