мacĸenzιe zιeglerѕ 'ғυcĸ ιт' lιѕт

twenteafive

      "UGH HE IS SUCH AN ASSHOLE"

    i flop onto brynn's bed, my eyes focused on her ceiling that has glow in the dark stars on it, while she rants and raves.

        "so what did you do?" annie asks me, a sympathetic look plastered on her face.

     i don't want their sympathy, i want an explanation.

     "i called maddie and she came to pick me up" i shrug.

    my heart shattered last night when all johnny could say to me when i poured my heart out to him was "okay". like what headass would reply with THAT. i told him that i loved and he said OKAY. i wasn't expecting him to say it back or anything, just something better than OKAY.

    i was so embarrassed and upset that i ran away, he called after me but i didn't stop until maddie came and picked me up. she stayed with me the whole night while i cried myself to sleep. ugh i hate love.

    "well it doesn't matter because we have exciting news" brynn says, pulling me out of my trance.

     i raise my eyebrows, letting her know she can continue.

"it's my birthday on saturday and we're heading up to carson's lake house to celebrate, we can have a bonfire, sit by the fire telling ghost stories, go swimming in the lake which might i add is on your fuck it list, and the best part, we can get shitfaced drunk" annie smirks.

a party? at the lake house? the whole weekend? with johnny? no thank you.

"do i have to go? i mean annie i love you and all but i don't think i wanna be stuck in a house with johnny all weekend" i mumble.

"you won't have to because he's not going" brynn informs me to which i crease my eyebrows in response.

"why?" i ask.

"i dunno, lauren told me he was feeling under the weather or something" she says like it was nothing.

but it is something because if johns sick then i want to be with him and look after him like he did with me. i might think he's a moron and broke my heart but it's not his fault. he didn't ask for any of this, i pushed it all on him. i was being selfish.

"okay fine, let me get packed and i'll meet you guys back here in an hour" i tell them. they nod their heads, satisfied with my response.

mom picks me up and takes me back home, talking my ear off about how i need to call her every hour and make sure i take my medication (for real this time) and be careful. she didn't seem too happy that johnny wasn't going.

"so who's going to take care of you?" she asked.

i rolled my eyes at her.

she loves him more than she loves me.

who can blame her though.

maddie helps me pack when i get home. i pack a pair each of leggings , jeans, shorts, couple of bathing suits, cute tops and some shoes before putting in my makeup bag and curling iron as well as a blow dryer and toiletries.

"here take this" maddie says, handing me my laptop. i put it in my backpack along with my charger and earphones, some snacks, and an eye mask. it's a long trip up to carson's lake house and i plan on being comfy the whole way there.

"i downloaded some movies onto it for you and also charged it up fully so it should be good to go for a few hours" maddie tells me, pulling me into a hug.

"i love you" i mumble into her shoulder.

"okay" she jokes. i gasp, hitting her shoulder.

"too soon?" she laughs, i scowl in response.

she helps me downstairs with my luggage. james and noah stand at the bottom of the stairs, ready to say goodbye.

"why does it feel like you're always leaving us?" noah asks when i hug him. i sigh loudly, he's right. i never spend any time with my brothers anymore and i can tell that it's affecting them. i'm the worst sister ever.

"i'll be home in two days okay? i promise we will do something fun, just the three of us" i tell them, putting my arm around james too.

"okay" they say in unison.

we hug one more time before i stand up, brushing off the dust from my knees and give both my mom and greg a hug also. i wave goodbye as they all stand at the door, watching maddie and i drive away.

"they'll be fine, i'm happy you're so busy nowadays, you're living your life kenz" maddie says and i agree. i'm doing what i should be doing. i just wish i wasn't hurting my family in the process.

i lean over when maddie pulls up at brynn's house. we exchange hugs, cheek kisses and goodbyes before i get out and walk over to brynn's front door.

"kenzie you're here!" annie exclaims when she opens the door. i nod. "indeed i am" i laugh as she pulls me inside.

"so when are we leaving?" i ask. feeling myself become rather sleepy. as soon as we hit the road, i'm taking a FAT nap.

"five minutes, you're driving up with jacob, that okay?" she says.

i'm a little uneasy about the new information but it won't be that bad, jacob and i had fun the other day. we're friends. what could possibly go wrong?

________________________________________________________________________

  juanny u moron!!!

jacob gonna steal ur girl now u fool

also, maddie the savage