Chapter 18: Pull it Together

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"What the actual fuck is your problem?" I snap at him as I release my hold on him, shoving him away from me into the living room. His eyes widen at my question.

"Mine?! You're the one acting like a fucking crazed person!" He shouts at me.

"Hoseok, I don't give two shits if you're shitty to me and want to ignore me. As much as it fucking hurts, I'll deal with the pain. But the fact that you left your goddamn girlfriend hanging tonight?! I can't believe you! Do you have any idea the fucking pain you put her through, being literally the only one not there tonight?!" I yell, having half a mind to just smack him.

"Maybe I would've come if I a disappointment like yourself hadn't been there!" He shouts back. I scoff and only feel my anger heighten.

"Don't you dare make it about me, Jung Hoseok. I don't give a fuck if the thing you fear or hate most is in the presence of your girlfriend. If she's fucking performing or doing anything that you have the ability to attend and support her in, you goddamn well better be there. Jimin and Jingsah fucking hate me, but they were both there tonight, Hoseok. What the hell exactly is your excuse?

"You caused her so much fucking pain by not coming tonight, Hoseok. Fucking hate me, scream at me and call me every name in the goddamn book, Hoseok. Beat me and tell me that everything would be better if I just fucking died. But how dare you disrespect her and let her down in such a way like that over something as small as your hatred for me. I'll live with the pain that you cause me.

"I've been doing it for fucking years now. But to have let Mina down and hurt her as much as you did tonight by not attending... You know, I've had to talk her down twice in the last week and a half, keep her from breaking up with you because I know how much you mean to her and how happy you were making her when you weren't making some giant ordeal about me.

"You know, from the first day the two of you met. It really seemed like she meant a lot to you. Over the last month it's seemed like she's made you nothing but happy. Yet you just fucking crushed her. I hope you're happy, Hoseok. Hope your fucking proud of yourself." I snap angrily at him.

"Glad to hear you have so much respect for yourself and aren't acting like a damn hypocrite, Minsae. You really almost sound like a fucking adult." He scoffs. I shake my head at him.

"You know. I've never done anything to you, Hoseok. I've never done anything but try to be a good sister to you. Try to make you happy. But it's not fucking possible, Hoseok. You don't allow that to be possible. Does it hurt like hell every single time you ignore me? Every time you leave just because of me? Every time you're yelling either at or because of me? It hurts like fucking hell. I gave up trying to do anything about it though, because you won't let me.

"So, go ahead and disrespect me in every way you can think of, Hobi. But I love those girls and they are my best friends. And I will not stand for any of them to be treated like shit. Yeah, you fucking let me down tonight by not showing up. But it was way worse for Mina because she's your girlfriend. Ya know, the person that you're supposed to care for above almost anyone else.

"You really need to get your priorities straight, Hoseok. Figure out what and who actually matters to you. Figure out how you should be treating those people. How to treat Mina and how exactly you think you're going to fix this if you really care about her." I respond, my voice calmer this time before stalking off to Jungkookie's bedroom.

Going in, I sit down on the edge of the bed, my entire body shaking at this point. Out of anger. Out of sadness. Out of pain. Out of exhaustion. Out of frustration.

I don't bother looking up when a shadow appears in the doorway. I don't bother looking up when the door shuts behind the person.

"Hey. Are you okay, baby?" Kookie asks softly, putting an arm around my waist and pulling me into his side. My body soon quits shaking at his touch, but it doesn't ease my mood much. Swallowing hard, I merely shrug in response.

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