The Cliffs

thirty one

My boots clicked against the bare tiles, and I drank in every detail of my childhood home. Today's smell was a light lavender, and I inhaled deeply to soak in the delightful scent. I couldn't help but feel out of place in this house since the falling out we all had. I climbed the stairs slowly, my hand resting lightly on the railing as I moved up. The stairs had always felt like they went on forever, but now, they felt short and quick. I had reached the top before I had even realized, too deep in thought about what I was planning on doing. It had been a long time coming, and now, the future was waiting just outside for me. There was no turning back now. I floated through the familiar hallway, and suddenly felt like I was experiencing it all differently.

Nothing was the same, nor would it ever be again. I had finally come to terms with that fact. I trailed my hand against the wall, nearing the bedroom that I hadn't stepped foot in for five years. I knocked lightly, and at first, I heard no noise on the other side. Then, there was a large crash. The door swung open, and my sister stood there as if she were a deer caught in headlights.

Her usually immaculate hair was disheveled, and her clothes were wrinkled. I furrowed my eyebrows at her, before glancing behind her. Marcus sat on her bed, bare chest and all. I widened my eyebrows, my eyes flittering back to my sister, who had a rosy tint shading her cheeks.

"Well, hey there." I stated slowly, blinking at both of them.

"Hey, you're back home." She coughed awkwardly, and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What's going on?" I asked, and she sighed, shifting on her feet.

"I told him last night." She trailed, and I tried not to think about where I was the night before.

"And it looks like it went well." I noted, holding back a smirk.

"I think so..." She sighed slightly, and I shifted on my feet. "I'm might get rid of it." She diverted her gaze, and I widened my eyes.

"Adri." I stated softly, not knowing what to say

It wasn't my decision, but I felt something tug at my heart.

"Are you sure? I mean, it's... that's a big deal." I coughed, and she nodded.

"I know, I keep going back and forth, but I'm scared, Adeline. I don't know what to do. Marcus wants to keep it, but I don't know if I'm ready." She huffed, and I nodded in understanding.

"You don't have much time to decide if you're ready. You're in the moment, now." I stated, and she nodded.

"I know. I'm, well, I'll let you know what I do." Adri stated, and we both stood there in silence for a moment.

"Well, I guess I'll go then. I need to pick up some things from my room." I smiled slightly, and she nodded, searching my face.

I turned on my heels, wishing that for once I didn't feel so alone. I headed towards my room, finding a spare gym bag and shoving things as I blinked back tears. I thought that seeing my sister, it would solidify things. Maybe she would be able to tell how much I was suffering internally, but I knew that she had to deal with her own things. It was a lonely world, and I was beginning to accept it for the first time. Lonely, however, I was learning wasn't awful. I was learning more about how I dealt with things, how I dealt with others. I zipped up my bag, slung it over my shoulder, and clambered downstairs.

I passed my mother's room, and I paused, hesitating at the entrance. I doubted she was in there, but I turned towards the door anyway. I opened the door slowly, peeking my head through. It was completely empty, void of any life, as usual. I looked over at the wooden desk on the opposite side of the room. I gravitated towards it, my chest swelling as I ran my hand over the smooth wood. It was chipped and worn down, but it was his. I opened the drawers, smiling as I saw the pens and pencils in their original places. I knew my mom wouldn't have touched the area. Regardless of the heartlessness I saw in her now, I knew she would never have mustered the courage to move his belongings. I opened the bottom drawer curiously, wondering if it was just as I remembered it. A neatly folded yellow paper was resting in the bottom drawer, and I laughed to myself, thinking about the brief notes he used to write when he remembered something he needed to research.