My Secret Love Song #TransPRIDE

22. Milo's Gift

^~Milo's POV~^

"El, hold on okay? I've got you, just hold on," 

I hold El's cold yellow tinted hand in mine as we ride the ambulance to the hospital. EMT's surrounded him with all sorts of electrodes, poking and prodding my sweet unconscious El. I just wanted to tell them all to go away and leave him alone, but once they unbutton his dress shirt, I knew that was no longer possible.

"Oh...El," 

I can only whisper his name in shock as I see Eli's bare chest for the first time. I was calm before but now I was in a state of panic with a wave of guilt washing over me.

How did I not see this before?

Every single bone on Eli's skinny body was protruding through his milky white skin, now turned a shade of light yellow. His hip bones looked like they could poke through his thin skin at any moment and I cover my mouth in shock. Wesley sits next to me in silent support as I tell the EMT's all the information I know about El. 

They quickly band me with a rubber bracelet coded to El, so I would be able to find him since he was going straight into the intensive care unit. They said the best thing I could do was wait with his parents while they assess the damage done by his anorexia nervosa. I give El's hand a gentle squeeze and he gives a limp squeeze back just as they take him away from me and into the hospital. 

As soon as we exit the emergency vehicle, everything hits me all at once and I spot a few bushes in the corner. Darting towards them, I make it just in time as the vomit that was resting in the pit of my stomach comes out. I can feel Wesley's reassuring hand on my back as I throw up out of pure guilt and fear mingle together to form one disgusting feeling I had no name for.

"It's not your fault Mr. Evans. He hid it well." Wesley reassures me once the bile turns to dry heaving and I finally stop. 

Leaning against the cool brick wall of the hospital bay, not giving a shit about anyone who walks past me and saw me like this. But Wesley clearly did and he did his best to hide me with his tall muscular physique compared to my scrawny one. I close my eyes and for the first time, in a very long time, I pray. 

I grew up in a strictly religious household, but I believe God must accept me for who I am in his kind loving heart.

But I ask him to put me aside. That this prayer wasn't for me but for my best friend who could also be my soul companion in life. I love him or her or them, and nothing would ever change that. Even though he said those nasty things to me today, it didn't for a second change the way I feel about him. 

I love El. 

And a love like ours is far too precious to be tossed away on the occasion of such meaningless words meant to push me away.

But I need him to live in order for me to tell him that.

So please god, make a little exception and let him live.

"Milo?" 

I wipe my lips on my sleeve and turn around to find warm loving arms wrapped around me. I find myself frozen in place as Mika holds me close, like he would hold his own child, and the love practically radiates off his small body. 

A love I had been missing for a very long time.

His coconut scent was soothing to my soul as he held me tight.