Explosive

27 || Abyss

~Dedicated to amaya0017 for the sweet comments. Please check out her recent work, Finding Home. The characters in this story are super fun to read about. :)

Aunt Jane is sitting at the counter, mindlessly flipping through the morning newspaper. Today we're going to Oakville to pick up more of my things. I have not been there since the funeral and I am not sure if I am ready to go back yet. There is a stiffness building in my chest and the thought of going through my mom's stuff is making me feel dizzy.

While I gingerly pull on my sneakers, Josh saunters down the stairs, his hair wet and mouth in a line. A strange hollowness had fallen over my cousin after the fight. We have not talked since the party. It's obvious that he is upset with me. Aunt Jane knows that we are not telling her everything and this is making her anxious. Perhaps it's for the best that my uncle has not made an appearance yet. The past few weeks, I had made sure to avoid my uncle, which had been made easier by the fact that he just wasn't home.

"I'm really disappointed in both of you," my aunt finally says, breaking the silence. The twins are watching their favorite cartoon cat on TV and don't even look up at my aunt. I stop lacing up my shoes and go to sit beside her.

"Are we actually doing this now?" Josh mumbles as he pulls milk out of the fridge.

"Tell me what's going on, honey? You used to tell me everything." Aunt Jane searches her son's face but it doesn't reveal anything about what is going through his mind.

I reach out and clasp my aunt's hand. "I am really sorry for what happened at school the other day. Gabriel was picking on Josh and -"

"Did I ask for your help, Audrey?" Josh screams, slamming the cup angrily onto the counter and making my aunt jump. I blink rapidly.

"Josh!" my aunt responds, her eyes widening. My cousin is a good kid who generally tends to stay out of trouble at school despite being the popular kid. It's obvious that this new side of him is confusing Jane, who is scrambling up from the chair now. The newspaper falls onto the ground. Nobody bothers to pick it up. "Stop yelling at Audrey." Her voice falls to a whisper. "Please, Josh. Tell me what's going on." She reaches out to her son, desperately trying to pull him back from the chasm he is standing at. He moves away, waving his hand at us.

Theo comes into the kitchen and raises his hands up to me. "Will you come to watch TV with us?" he asks, while I pick him up. I take him back to the couch, where his sister is asleep with her thumb in her mouth.

"Sweetheart, your sister is asleep," I say, trying to distract Theo from the shouting in the kitchen. He nudges his sister with his foot before looking up at me sheepishly. I move him to my other leg, away from Mary, and increase the volume on the TV.

We sit like this for a few minutes before my aunt barges in, her fingers gripping the car keys and her purse. "Audrey, let's go," she instructs, wiping at her red eyes. "Josh is going to watch the kids for the day."

She is out the door before I have a chance to protest or suggest that we go another day. My cousin comes into the living room, his hands in his pockets. "Is everything okay?" I ask. A stupid question, really. Nothing is okay.

Josh shrugs his shoulders, a look of defeat etched across his features. "I told her about the fight. I told her about me." Before he can say anything else, I wrap my arms around him but he doesn't hug me back.

He is silent for a long time and I'm afraid that I have lost him to the abyss. Finally, he says, "Will she stop loving me?" Something tugs at my heart. Josh looks so tiny right now, so lost and afraid. I drop to one knee so that I am facing Theo who is stilling pulling at my hand.

"Sweetie, why don't you go save your brother a seat. He is going to watch cartoons with you today." A large smile spreads across his face. He is over the moon with the idea that his brother is going to watch TV with him. He wobbles away, before climbing onto the couch beside his sister.

I look at Josh before grabbing his hand. "Josh, there are a lot of things I am unsure of in life. But one thing I know for certain is that your mom will never stop loving you."

He pulls his hand away before closing his swollen eyes. "I knew for a long time that I was different, that I wasn't normal." He sighs.

"What do you mean by normal?" I say, trying to catch his eyes. "What is normal anyway?" He doesn't respond. "There is nothing wrong with you, Josh. I promise you that your mom will never stop loving you." Aunt Jane is a compassionate and honest person, who would accept her son, no matter what.

He nods while looking at the door behind me. "You should go, Audrey. My mom said that you are meeting with the detective today." At that, he falls onto the couch before letting Theo climb onto his lap. Just as I am turning to leave, Josh says, "I am really sorry for yelling at you, Audrey." I nod my head, even though I know he can't see me.