The title definitely related to Marlene as she is quite literally losing her mind. The cover is really simple but I like the design of her standing beside Domino and Cable. While the title font isn't really my cup of tea, I appreciate the blur which makes it seem like it's glitching.
GRAMMAR AND SPELLING | ( 5/5 )
I noticed a few mistakes, but mostly those were typos, that all of us make. The grammar and spelling seemed to be spot on majority of the time.
SUMMARY | ( 8/10 )
Again, the description summary was simple but effective. It conveyed exactly what we needed to know about Marley without spoiling anything, so the rest could be revealed in the story. However, I liked how you added in a cast which had the character's tropes beneath, as I found it gave more life to the introduction!
OVERALL WRITING | ( 11/15 )
Similar as in Saviours of the World, the writing was simple but I thought it was really effective and found I really enjoyed it this time. Description was really nice though it wasn't too lengthy. The simple description of her actions, and the little mannerisms Marlene did to show that she was becoming insane was a really nice detail. I thought your writing was more advanced than in Saviours of the World, despite how much I enjoyed that one, most likely because this seems to have been written a bit later. I just loved all the tiny mannerisms she made, the simple yet subtly complex dialogue, and how
Also can I just state that a part which literally made me laugh out loud was a typo saying "you statistic fuck!" and please don't change it because that is now my headcanon of what Wade really said. I just found that really funny.
CHARACTERS | ( 8/10 )
Okay, so Marlene's a psychopath. But I literally love her? She's a really complex character. Like she clearly knows what she's doing, or whatever the voice in her head tells her to do, and seems really intelligent. I like the idea of her having cancer similar to Wade. Her insane dialogue and teasing, crazy nature made me grin quite a few times.
I'd also consider Marley's imaginary voice as a character and it was just as funny as she was. Their interactions, and imagining what it would look like to the other's around her made me laugh quite a few times. Marley's random outbursts were so funny to me on occasion, because no one else had literally any idea what she was going on about half the time and I loved it.
I really liked her interactions with Ajax, who was pretty much as mad as she was. However, her interactions with Wade were definitely my favourite. As they were both the same kind of sarcastic characters, instantly upon their meeting I knew we would be having some fun with them. Deadpool's commentary of "Oh, I have a neighbour. Hello neighbour" was completely in character and I loved how Marley responded.They constantly teased everyone around them and got smacked around for it.
Their romantic chemistry is really interesting too, because of course, Wade is going to make sexual jokes and Marley joins in on them most of the time, but I loved how she started to take them personally and think deeper into them over time. I thought it was very realistic. Also Marlene slipping into random psychiatrist modes was a really nice detail because it shows how she might be crazy, but is still really smart.
PLOT | ( 11/15 )
While I thought at first, it escalated really quickly with her killing her husband and the woman he cheated with, I then realised she was quite literally psychotic and had no real clue what she was doing, and it made sense.
I absolutely loved your little references of everything, just like was in Deadpool, of the Green Lantern collection cards and the Deadpool in Wolverine Origins, even the fourth wall breaking of your own fanfiction.
I would have commented on the face that Marlene is inspired by Harley Quinn, except I forgot about it a chapter in because you created practically an entirely new character that was really in depth and interesting, and then YOU MADE A FOURTH WALL BREAK ABOUT HER BEING FROM THE DC UNIVERSE AND BEING PLAYED BY THE SAME CHARACTER, AND THEN THAT THEY WERE IN A FANFICTION, so I can't even make a comment on anything about that because it's amazing. I mean props to you, cause that was really great.
I think Marley's plot worked really well with Deadpool. It didn't seem like she was stealing any lines and I thought her plot and influence on the story was original, while still keeping it to canon. Honestly, the whole story was super enjoyable and I'd love to see another update!
The only thing I would say is that her descent into madness seemed really abrupt, but I forgot about it after literally a chapter because I became invested.
FINAL SCORE: 46.5/60
I have to admit I enjoyed this one more than Saviours of the World, but I think that's just my personal preference and love for characters who are slightly mad. I thought the writing was more advanced too, clearly as this has been written more recently. I honestly really loved it and can't wait till you update it!!!
Sksksk I'm sorry, these reviews were supposed to be just telling people on what they can improve on, but I really like saying what I enjoyed way too much aksksks, people please let me know if it's irritating.
