Playing Doctor

Chapter 6

    Days went by and glued together. I never knew when it was morning, afternoon, or night. Nurse Brenda kept up with feeding me soups but I could never tell at what times. It seemed she just waited till I was awake enough. Chicken noodle, tomato, mushroom, and vegetable all week long. It all had the stagnant taste of store bought cans just warmed in a microwave. I wondered if I could have something better if I asked.

    I never had guests other then Henry and Brenda either. I asked about my parents each day, wondering if someone had figured out the mystery of my name. Of my address. Of the names I thought I had for my parents. But no. It was a garbled mess. Some syllables matched names of people who lived in the area, but others didn't. Doctor Henry even told me they were looking for missing persons reports. Maybe I was in there.

    And the more I asked about my identity, the more I got about the accident. I was found by a motorist at a stagnant intersection connecting a dirt road called 'Jayson Way' with a back way called 'South Bay' and 'Lark'. The names didn't sound familiar to me but I never payed attention to signs in the first place. I was already unconscious when the ambulance came. No one saw what happened, no one was there besides cornfields and bunnies.

    I always got a bad feeling when I asked about the accident. Doctor Henry always blew it off, told me not to worry. There's nothing to worry about, but he still gave me small bits of what he knew. That was it though. There wasn't much. No car model. No memory.

    Except sometimes when I slept I saw things in my dreams. Those dreams left me shaking and screaming, straining against my restraints. Because of them, Doctor Henry had tightened my bonds twice. He sounded disappointed in me each time. I felt bad. I really did want to get better, to feel better, but the panic would set in as I slept and I would mess up. I once struggled hard enough to break the skin of my left wrist and he had to tape it back together. It was painful and made me cry.

    Once he even shouted at me, asking me what I saw in the dreams that made me do such things. I had to tell him I didn't know. I really didn't. It was always a garbled mess of noise and pain and screaming. Maybe it was the accident, but I could never see anything but flashes of blue sky and dark ground. I cried some more when he yelled, but the doctor had apologized and had undid my legs for me as an apology.

    The dreams were coming less frequent now that he had given me some medications for the night terrors. Medication for pain, sleep, night terrors, anxiety, I was feeling like my brain would never be clear due to the drugs. But I was sure I would be weened off of them as time went by. It was just hard to glue days and events together. Or if things really did happen or not.

    Sometimes I heard things, voices and muttering coming from the hallway outside. I think it's the staff or maybe Doctor Henry or Brenda, but I can never hear what is being said. Other times I will hear the squeak of a chair or the soft footsteps of someone in my room or even swear I hear someone take a breath, but every time I call out, no one answers. I have even asked about it, but I was told it was probably me daydreaming in some way. Or my hearing was playing tricks on me since I couldn't see.

    I didn't say anything, but this made me a tad suspicious sometimes. I meant to ask where the rest of the staff were; why did it seem like Brenda and Henry were the only people checking in on me. I have been assuming it was because I was very hurt and they were assigned to me, but it felt like weeks had gone by, and I hadn't been moved.

    Was I still in critical condition?

    Sometimes I would have sharp pain or shortness of breath, but I don't know if that was life threatening. I hoped it wasn't. My face still felt puffy, my limbs were sore all the time, and I felt my back started to protest from laying down so much. Once or twice a day Brenda would come in and give me a sponge bath and changed my bandages, but that was the only movement I really got. I wasn't allowed to stand or even sit up, she just worked around to what she could reach. I would give anything for a shower at this point.