Please, please forgive me!

Maybe If I Told You the Right Words

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. -C.S. Lewis

Late morning and he was still sleepy. Maybe it was that he wasn't in his bed. Maybe because he had had sex with his best female friend. What a strange twelve hours that had been. Nervous he ran his hand through his hair. The place beside him was empty but still warm. Harry was alone in her room, alone lying in her bed. The sunshine was streaming much stronger through the windows on the mess of this room.

Harry should have known it. He should have known that it had been too many feelings, too much love. Like being bottled into a small glass, and then someone suddenly opening it and all the emotions steaming did he expect? That Hermione could forget if he couldn't even forget. Still he knew that he loved her, but did she love him?This wasn't the right situation for them. They shouldn't start it like that. He had always thought that if he fell for her, that it would be different. That they would go slow. But it hadn't been slow and it didn't as much as the fact that they hadn't been close in the past months. Hermione was different and so alone. She wasn't living her life was feeling so low and unable to function, that she wasn't even in her classes everyday.

Cho was dead and Hermione was guilty. No, she isn't guilty It's Voldemort. Only he did it. If Harry closed his eyes he could see Hermione with her wand in her shaking hand and this wide open eyedlook as if she wanted to just faint. This picture hurt him. He couldn't understand why he hadn't felt something more as Cho was falling to the ground. Only when he looked up to Hermione could he feel how empty his heart was.

Still he could hear Ron'svoice from yesterday. The sharp hissing that told Harry what a fool he was. Maybe his glasses were still lying broken on the floor.

"Did you ever love Cho or was it always Hermione?" Ron yelled at Harry after he told Ron that he still cared for Hermione. Shaking in anger he jumped to his feet took his glasses which were shattered from his nose and threw them with much more power to the floor. Without a second word he left the common room and went to the prefect area.

What happened then was amazing. Slowly he sat up in her bed. It was time to stand up. But he didn't want to face this problem. Thinking of what Hermione said this morning, Harry thought if he held her, if he kissed her, she would forget. He was wrong, he knew it now. She had left him there all alone. With all of his heart he wished they could just go on without looking back. Didn't she know how short life could be? Didn't she know that he didn't want to lose her? That he only wanted to feel her, to feel that she was alive again! Of course she knew it, but did she want what he wanted?

"We..we have to..stop this!" she had had told him with difficulty. He would have stopped if she hadn't guided him back to her. All he wanted to do was to hold her and make her forget. Sadly, he wasn't one push, he jumped out of bed. He couldn't stand to lay there and think. Where was she-maybe in the bathroom or in the common room. Harry didn't know. Hermione was gone when he woke up. She left him alone.

His boxers were lying on the floor. He put them on and took the rest of his clothes in his arms. His wish was now a nice hot he opened the door, he noticed it was much darker in the corridor. Without his glasses, it was much more difficult to see anything more than six feet in front of him. Lucky Hermione wasn't that far away yesterday.

On the other side of this corridor was his room and a little bathroom, so he didn't need to take that big prefect bathroom. Somehow it was better for him to know he wouldn't meet any other student. Especially not Ron, who used this bathroom, too. It was like a different life now, now that the trio was could see everyday how much worse she felt. This pain that he felt was the worst he had ever felt in his life. And to watch how Hermione suffered from that, knowing he could end it, but not being ready because he didn't know the right words. What should have he told her? No words in this world could take it away.