Please, please forgive me!

I Don't Wanna Lose You

I don't wanna lose you
I don't even wanna say goodbye
I just wanna hold on
To this true love, true love
I don't wanna lose you
And I always wanna feel this way
Cause everytime I'm with you
I feel true love, true love

By Tina Turner

Silently her thoughts went back to the horrible night that Cho Chang had died. She had been the first person in Hermione's young life she had seen die. She had been the first person who was ever hit in front of her very eyes with the killing curse. Since Hermione knew about the prophecy she feared the one she loved with all her being could be the next person. Many days of the last year she had tried to push away her fears of seeing the lifeless body of this seventeen year old boy. They were hearing nearly every day about new attacks, torturing and killing.

In their sixth year they met Death Eaters, unprepared, in the darkness of the Forbidden Forest. What the Death Eaters were searching for there they never knew. They knew only that they were attacked directly. Due to the death of Minister Fudge, Dumbledore had left Hogwarts alone that day. Sometimes Hermione wondered if Voldemort knew better than they thought what happened at Hogwarts, otherwise he couldn't have known that on this day Dumbledore hadn't been there. How foolish they had been that day to try and fight Death Eaters just because they got away with their lives in their fifth year?

Sadly, Hermione shook her head at those memories. Graduation was just a few days away. The NEWTs were already past them. Despite this, an uneasy feeling kept hunting her as if she was about to lose something dear but could not stop it. She looked at her notes for the planned graduation speech intently. Hermione didn't know why she was supposed to say anything. The world which awaited them was crazy, and in the middle of a war. Until today she did not know what she would do in the future, or even in a few weeks. Because of her status she hadn't yet a job or anything that she could do. It was nearly impossible for her to get work even if she got as many as NEWTs as were possible.

People, especially the Ministry, feared that if she worked with them, they would become one of the targets of Voldemort or any other dark wizard. By now, Hermione was just as famous as Harry Potter. The only difference was that she was marked as muggleborn. No one from those under her year that were muggle-born had any prospects, at least, not in the wizarding world. Ron was the only one who already had a job. He would work at Ministry for in the International Sports department. Shortly after their seventh year had started Hermione, Ron, and Harry had tried to sort things out.

It had been unbelievably hard for them to get past all those emotions. It had been Halloween when Hermione learned Ron had had feelings for her for a long time. Though Ron kept saying it had changed over the years, still she could see it was hard for him. After all, she had been his first love. She was slightly irked by the thoughts that she was the reason that he had changed so much. Ron had been always her best friend, but nothing more. Everything had made sense after they got this out, after Hermione finally knew. For Ron, himself, this changed a lot. Finally, he was able to get over those long hidden feelings. The first time Hermione had ever seen Ron with another girl he was happy with her. Deep inside herself she knew that she could have never been that girl, never be the one who made him glow like that.

In the past months, Harry had been more and more withdrawn. Hermione didn't know how she could cheer him up. Many nights they searched in the library for spells. Any magic that might help Harry in his fight against Voldemort. Sometimes it seemed as if he expected to die in those next days. Hermione simply refused to think about this possibility. The only power Voldemort did not know was Love, but how, Hermione wondered, was Harry supposed to use any spell or curse with such an emotion if all he felt in such situations was only pure, all-consuming hatred? Though she knew better she had written all kinds of spells and potions down that were supposed to protect or to attack with the power of love. Still, she had wondered if those notes would ever be used.