Vegas, Baby

Epilogue: James Saylor

(A/N: Due to the 5-year gap between the previous chapters and this one, I've changed the actor that portrays James- they're not too dissimilar but Matthew Daddario, above, looks more mature, which would suit the now 24-year-old James. He's a man, not a boy.)

"Hey, babe, do you want to go and see the new Spymaster film that's just come out?" My fiancé, Charlie, shouted from the study. My body froze at the mention of the film's title, knowing exactly who the star of the movie franchise. "It has that guy in it, you know, the one Martha works for. What's his name? Saylor?"

It's been over five years since I first met James Saylor and almost three years since we legally divorced. Not that Charlie knew any of this. It was the biggest secret I was keeping from him, one that I knew would kill any chance of a future for us. I wasn't even sure why I hadn't told Charlie who my ex-husband really is; he knows the basics, that I met the guy in South America, we married in Vegas and knew right away that it was never going to work. He also knew that we couldn't get an annulment, so we had to wait a year before the UK courts could start to process the divorce despite the fact that we were legally separated. 

I might have mentioned once that my ex's name is James but I never told him that the biggest actor on the planet was once my husband. Talk about giving Charlie a complex if he knew that was his competition.

"I'm not really in the mood for an action flick, honey," I shout back to Charlie. Hearing his footstep, I turn to the kitchen door in time to see him walk in, a frown on his forehead. He only ever frowned when he was annoyed. "What?"

"It's Spymaster, though," Charlie tried to reason with me. He was such a nerd. "All the guys in work will be talking about it and I won't have seen it. Please come with me?"

I shook my head. "Why don't you ring Logan and Sam? They'll go with you."

My secret that I was keeping from Charlie was also a secret all my friends and family agreed to keep from Charlie. Through my friendship with Keira Delaney, which was formed via my ties with Martha Fletcher, Charlie had formed his own friendship with Keira' boyfriend and his friend, Sam Courtenay, who happened to be Martha's ex-boyfriend. Charlie knew all of that, of course, but since it was far too complicated to navigate, he asked very little about what our group was like five years ago, when things were a little less complicated. 

Taking my advice, Charlie rang the boys and they all arranged to meet at the cinema tonight to go and watch their silly little film. "Maybe Keira could come over here to keep you company," Charlie suggested as he put on his coat and shoved his wallet, keys and phone into one of the pockets. "That way, you won't be alone."

"I actually want to be alone," I say to Charlie. "I love you but I also love having the house to myself every once in a while."

Knowing not to take offence at that, Charlie kisses me goodbye before heading out. From the living room, I watch as he walks down the street, turns the corner and disappears out of sight. Sighing with relief, I take my phone from my pocket and quickly go to the Google Allo app, thankful for the incognito mode I've set it to. Opening up one of the contacts, I type out a message and wait for the reply. It comes in record time. 

Smiling, I read the words on the screen. I text back as I pull on my shoes and scarf, throwing my coat over my arm. Locking the door of the house before I leave, I get into my car and drive the short distance from the house I share with Charlie to my destination. Parking the car outside a nondescript house, I check that everything looks clear before I get out and rush to the door of the house. I didn't even need to knock since the door swung open from the inside as I neared the building. When inside, I kicked off my shoes, threw off my coat and spun to see a familiar face staring down at me. 

"This has got to be the last time," I insist, only to be met with that stupid laugh. The laugh that was the key to the butterfly cage in my stomach. "I mean it. The last time."

James smirked. "That's what you always say and yet, here we are again."

I hated it when James Saylor was right and he was right about a lot of things when it came to me. While we might have divorced, there was this constant gravitational pull between us that meant that I couldn't stop myself from wanting him. It was selfish of me to say so and I knew I was betraying Charlie everytime I met James but you don't just forget your first love, the first man you've ever known. 

Our divorce hadn't been our choice and while we vowed to remain friends after, it always proved hard to just be friends. For the first six months after filing for legal separation, we were in and out of each other's beds but then James had to go back to Los Angeles for work and things cooled off. But then he was back in London for filming work the following year and it all started up again. Which was inconvenient, given that we were signing off on the divorce at the time. Then he left- again- and we didn't see each other for months. In that time, I met Charlie and things got serious there. 

Then James would periodically come back into my life and despite my better judgement, when he invited me over, I couldn't say no. I would make my excuses to Charlie and came straight over. It was toxic, I knew that. James knew that. We couldn't stop ourselves. He was as much my addiction as I was his. It was a vicious cycle. We would go upstairs, have wild sex, categorically say that it would be the last time, whisper goodbye to one another and go our separate ways. 

"James-"

"Nina."

"Fuck me," I mutter. 

James suggestively winked at me. "Is that an invitation?" Glaring at him, he takes a step back and leans against the door, folding his arms over his chest. Then suddenly, he smiles, and I know I'm in trouble. "Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?"

Here we go again.