Forever With You

Chapter 1

"Simon, I've been thinking about us, and–"

"Bram, don't you do this to me again!" Simon interrupted, his heart catching in his throat. "Don't you dare do this over the phone. Not again." His voice squeaked on the last couple of words. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Simon, I–"

"Don't say any more. I'll be right there."

Simon hung up, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door. He doubled back to lock it, remembering that his parents and sister were out for the afternoon. He raced down the driveway, but made himself drive at a reasonable speed the few blocks to Bram's house.

He swiped at an errant tear that trickled down his cheek. Bram better not be breaking up with him. Again. Another tear. Damn! Where were they coming from anyway? I mean, he got it – mostly – when Bram suggested they break up a couple of years ago. They were halfway through college, in separate states, and missing each other was sheer torture. Bram's pre-med program had gotten tougher than ever that semester, and the stress of that and maintaining a long distance relationship was wearing on him. He'd suggested that they break up, just for a year, to see if things got better.

They didn't.

At least not for Simon.

But he'd promised Bram that he'd try, so he had, but no one compared to Bram, so he'd eventually given up. Without Bram to talk to, think about, or plan to visit, and with no interest in dating anyone else, Simon had doubled up on his course work, finishing his computer science degree a semester early. He'd been working off some of the things on his dad's honey-do list in exchange for staying at home while he looked for a job. He hadn't been looking very hard, though, because what he really wanted to do was get a job in New York, where Bram was still going to school, so they could be closer together. Simon hadn't yet asked Bram about moving to New York given what had happened the last time Bram was too stressed.

They'd gotten back together a year and a day after they'd broken up. Bram hadn't fared any better than Simon had, saying that a world without Simon in it was not a world he wanted to live in.

And now it was happening again.

Simon just couldn't win. He was going to lose Bram anyway.

He swiped at another tear. And drove right past Bram's house. There wasn't anywhere to park. Strange. Bram hadn't said anything about company or a party. Must be a neighbor.

Simon had to park a block away. He walked to Bram's house, stopping at the foot of the driveway, watching Bram walk down to meet him. How could he be smiling like that when Simon's world was about to end? Bram leaned in to kiss Simon, but Simon turned his head.

"Wow. You really did go all the way there, didn't you?"

"Yeah, well, why wouldn't I?"

"How about just last night we were saying how much we love each other and never want to be apart again?"

"We said that the last time, too, but you still left me."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. Every word of that conversation is etched into my brain. The way I felt before it. The devastation I felt for months afterward." Simon ran his fingers through his hair, as he walked past Bram toward the house. Halfway up the driveway, he turned to look back at Bram, his heart in his eyes. "I love you, Bram. God knows I love you so much! And I get it. I do. Pre-med was hard, and I know it only gets worse from there. So I get it if you don't want or need me in your life right now. I've loved every single minute we've been together, but there's a part of me that's been waiting for the other shoe to fall. So, if it's got to fall, let it, but not over the phone. No. You look me in the face and tell me so that I can tell you, just like you once told me, that a world without you in it is too lonely to bear." Tears were streaming down his face now, and he had to look away.