Maybe This Time

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Ophelia's POV

I ran all the way home, trying to escape Mr Clores.

When I got to the front door, I hesitated.

Do I really want to do this? No. I could leave right now and never come back. But I know that's silly. He would find me. I know he would. And when he did, he would unleash hell on me. He would make sure of that.

I tried to get inside without being noticed, but I failed.

As soon as I stepped foot inside, I saw my father sitting on the couch staring at me. It was too late to go back now.

I took a hesitant step inwards and he stood up.

"You're late" shit.

"I know sir. I'm sorry sir."

"Why were you late?" He stared at me with cold eyes. I knew he had been drinking because I could smell the whiskey in the air.

"I'm sorry sir. I got held up with school" I knew he wouldn't believe it, but it was worth a shot.

"No you weren't. You were probably sluttin' it up with some boys." He took a large step closer

"No sir I swear! I was at school!" I took a step back.

"Did it feel good?" He took another step closer.

"Did what feel good sir?" I took another step back.

"Fucking all those boys." He took an even larger step closer.

"I swear si-" I was cut off because I had bumped into the wall.

There was nowhere left to go.

He had me cornered.

He grabbed a fist full of my hair and slammed my head against the wall.

I whimpered.

"Are you lying to me?" He said in an accusing tone.

He leaned his head in really close so I turned my head. I shivered when I felt his hot breath fan across my neck.

"No sir. I swear I'm not lying sir." My voice was barely above a whisper

"I feel like you're lying to me"

I whimpered as he leaned in closer.

He slammed my head against the wall again.

I let out a cry of pain

"That hurts doesn't it?" I whimpered. My head was throbbing.

"Maybe this will teach you to stop fucking boys."

He grabbed my arm and dragged me up the stairs.

"Do you like sex, huh?" Oh. So this is what's happening now.

I started to cry.

"No sir! I swear!"

He threw me into his room and into the bed.

"Don't lie to me!" He slapped me and the sound echoed in the room.

"Well after this, maybe you won't lie to me so much." He growled in my ear.

He began unbuckling his jeans. I started to thrash around.

He slapped me again.

"Do that again, and I'll make sure that after this, you won't be able to."

I stilled. I just had to accept that this would happen.

He removed his jeans and began began to undo mine.

I shut my eyes tight, tears soaking the sheets.

After he had removed my pants, he ripped of my underwear.

I had to stop myself from sobbing any louder.

"I thought you liked this" I could hear the smirk in his voice.

As soon as I felt his member push into me, everything changed.

It was like I head went into a dream line state.

It was like I was watching everything happening from across the room.

But I had no thoughts. Just the visual of my drunk father, slamming himself into my frail, bruised body.

Soon he reached his climax, and pulled out.

It felt like forever before I snapped back into reality; but my then, he had already left, heading for work.

I dragged myself into the hallway bathroom and sat on the floor.

I opened up the cabinet underneath the sink and pulled out the razor I kept hidden behind all the cleaning supplies.

I learnt against the wall and cut.

I cut for the pain I felt when my mother died.

I cut for the pain I felt when my father drowned his sorrows in alcohol.

I cut for the pain I felt when the alcohol wasn't enough.

I cut for the pain I felt when he used me instead.

I cut for the pain I felt after he had broken and battered me.

And I cut for the pain I felt now;
After he raped me and took away any hope I still had of my real father being in there somewhere, along with my virginity.

And so I sit here now, drowning in my tears and blood, wondering when all this torture will end.

And then I realize it never will.

I will always feel the pain that my father has inflicted on me.

And that thought scares me to death.