Robotic Eyes and Graveyards: A TFIOS One-Shot

"No! I don't want to! Get away from me!" I scream. "Get your creepy robotic eyes away from me!"

I was used to being blind, and my other senses actually worked for me. Hazel had helped me through everything, and we had grown closer than an OTP. She was like my twin sister. We played video games together, talked together, like what I used to do with Aug-- with him.

We don't really mention him anymore. If we do, everyone ends up crying, and I'm smashing things to pieces like a madman. We never go to his house. Not even just to say hi to his parents. It's been a long time since both Hazel and I have seen those cheesy family lines framed on the walls.

Now, back to the matter at hand. "Just try them on!" The man urges. I picture him to be potbellied, bald, and his skin a deep pink. Technically, a human pig. But, then again, that's how I imagine all of the people that get in my nerves.

I can sense Hazel, there in the corner of the room. She's not going to help the man. I know that for a fact. She's probably just sitting there, watching in amusement as a man is failing to put robot eyes on a blind guy.

"Why don't you help me, girl!" The man growls.

Before I can defend her, Hazel retorts, "And miss a show like this? Not a chance! Now, you should take a break. I'm going to get the popcorn!"

Ignoring Hazel's suggestion, the man repeats, "Just try them on!"

"Screw off! I like being blind!"

"Girl! Why can't you just-- wait?! Why are you recording this! Stop it!"

I chuckle at how much Hazel is getting in that guy's nerves. "Like I told you, screw off. I don't want to see again. Who wants to see flying cars and futuristic cars. Or Hazel. Or even worse. You!"

The man growls, and replies, "I give up. Have fun being blind. *sshole."

I open my mouth, about to snap back at him, but Hazel goes all psycho before I could speak.

"What did you just call him?!" Hazel shouts. "That is my best friend you are talking about you b*tch!"

"Did you just slap me?! Stupid girl! Ow! Stop that!"

"Now I kind of want those robot eyes." I say, wondering what Hazel is doing to make that man hurt so badly. And oh, what I would do to see the look on that potbellied man's face.

Finally, the man is gone, and me and Hazel are playing more video games.

"Isaac, did you mean it when you said you didn't want to see me?"

I smirk. "Of course, Hazel. Who wants to see that ugly face of yours?" And right at that second, I get slapped by the one and only, Hazel Grace Lancaster.

"Hazel! That hurt!"

Hazel doesn't answer me, and I know that she is mad at me.

"Hazel, you know I don't mean that."

She still doesn't answer. So, I try a different tactic.

"If I ever saw your face again, it would be way too beautiful!" I say over dramatically. But Hazel doesn't answer.

"Hazel, just talk to me. Please?" After a few minutes, Hazel still hasn't replied. "Hazel? Please talk to me."

"Do you ever think of him? Augustus?" Hazel whispers. I barely hear her, but with my sharp senses, I hear her loud and clear.

"Why are you thinking of him?"

I can hear Hazel breathing, and wonder why she hasn't said anything. Finally, she does. "I'm just remembering his funeral. What you said. Ironic how it really happened, right?" Hazel chuckles, but I can tell it's forced.

"Well?" Hazel asks, "Do you think about him?"

A dry laugh escapes my lips. "Every f*cking day, Hazel. Every f*cking day. You know he's the reason why I don't want to see."

"I know." It feels like hours, the awkward silence just bouncing around the walls.

"Let's go to his grave." Hazel says quietly.

"What?"

"Let's go to his grave." She repeats, louder than before.

And we do.

--------------------------------------------GRAVEYARD-----------------------------------------------------------

"This is it." Hazel announces.

I stop in my tracks, and put my head down in respect.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Hazel says quietly. "You owe it to him. We owe it to him."

But, I still don't say a word. "I'll start." She announces.

"Augustus, I miss you so much. Not a day goes by when I don't think about you, your cigarette metaphors, your hot bod." Hazel laughs. "You know how I loved you hot bod."

A moment passes, until Hazel speaks again. This time, she's crying. "I miss you so so much. I know I already said that, but it's the truth. Augustus, f*ck, I f*cking miss you. I love you so much. And I can't move on from you. Isaac doesn't even try to set me up with some new guy. He knows I'll scare the poor guy away. Or hurt him. But oh, you'll never know how much I f*cking love you, and miss you. I just..."

A sob escapes Hazel's lips, and then I'm there, comforting her. "Shh... Shh... It's okay... It's okay."

After a few minutes, Hazel clears her throat. "It's your turn."

I crouch down and put my hand in front of me and automatically feel cold stone. Gus' tombstone.

"Hey, buddy. How you doin' in hell?" I laugh. "I'm kidding. Well, not really." I pause, and then continue. "I don't miss you. Because if I did, your ego would get bigger. But, nah, man. I'm kidding. I miss you. Kind of." I'm trying to keep the conversation light, but it's kind of awkward considering that Gus can't talk back to me. And suddenly, thoughts are rushing through my head. Life, death, death. And that's where I break down.

"Why did you have to f*cking die, Gus? You are such a f*cking asshole! You can't just leave us like this! Hazel f*cking loved you! You were my best friend! Why did you have to leave!"

I know I am shouting and crying and acting batshit crazy, but I don't care. I don't f*cking care. It's been five years without Gus and he needs to know what he has done because he decided to give up on life.

"Why did you have to leave." I whisper. "I miss you Gus. I miss you."

There's more silence, and I think, 'Wow, a lot of silence today.' Until Hazel starts crying. I'm about to comfort her, until I realize she's laughing.

"Umm... Hazel? You okay?"

"Isaac," she muses, "you were talking to the wrong dead guy."

It took me awhile to let it set in, until I realized how stupid the whole situation was.

"Then who was I talking to?" I asked.

"The tombstone says: Dick Smith - Beloved Lawyer"

And then we're laughing, 'cause that was who Hazel and I am. Those two people laughing in a graveyard standing next to a d*ck.