May 2018
Hannah:
Luna is sitting in the dining room, papers spread all across the large wooden table. Her phone is wedged between her ear and her shoulder as she types away on her laptop while speaking into the receiver.
"Well, how much will that cost?" Luna barks and waits for a reply. "That's fine. Do it." She ends the call and drops her phone to the table.
"Hey, Luna," I say hesitantly. "Why are you out here? Is something wrong with your office?"
"I couldn't stay in there another second." She responds, never ceasing the clacking of her keys. "I needed more room, more light."
"Is everything okay?"
Finally, her fingers pause over the keyboard. She looks up at me, her eyes resting on my face for a long moment before she finally answers. "5 Seconds of Summer moved up the release of their album by a week."
My eyes widen. "They did?"
"They wanted to be here for the release party, rather than New York, so they moved it up a week." Her eyes turn back to the screen and she begins typing away again. "And now I'm scrambling to make sure that this thing goes off without a hitch."
"When did they decide that?"
"They called me this morning."
I swallow hard, trying to will away the sudden lump in my throat. "Do you need help? What can I do?"
She stops typing once more to look up at me. "Hannah, you don't have to do that."
"But you look so stressed." I shrug. "I just wanna help if I can."
Luna just shakes her head. "I know things didn't end well with Ashton, I'm not gonna have you working his party."
"Luna, I'm fine."
"It's no big deal."
"Luna." My voice is more firm than before. She stares at me, probably trying to recall a time where I've used my nanny voice with her (the answer is, never). Her eyes never leave me as I move to sit in the chair next to her. "Luna, I appreciate all that you've done for me over the past six years. You helped me get through college and you protected me to the death when everything went down with Steven."
She falters at the sound of his name, closing her eyes and bowing her head. "After that, I put up all these walls and Ashton spent a lot of time trying to break them down. I kept telling myself that it was because I didn't want him to save me, but the truth is that I didn't need him to because you already had." Luna opens her eyes, tears pooling to blur them as she turns her gaze to me. "You saved me, Luna. But you don't need to do that anymore. I've realized that I don't need Ashton or you or anyone to protect me because I can already do that for myself."
Tears begin falling down Luna's face, prompting my own to form. I bring her hands off of the keyboard and pull them into mine. "I will always be grateful for everything that you've done for me. But it's time for me to decide for myself when I need saving and live for me. Okay?"
She nods, pulling me into a hug. "I love you, dear."
"I love you, too," I squeeze her back. When I pull away to look at her again, I tell her, "I don't need saving from Ashton. I want to help you. What can I do?"
-----
June 2018
"Luna, take a break," I physically remove her hands from her computer. "Let's go. Dinner. Now."
"Han-"
"Ah, ah, ah," I cut her off and pull her to a standing position. "Come on. Dining room. Dinner."
"I get what you're trying to do," she says, resisting even though she's following me down the hall. "But I don't have time."
"Don't have time for food?" I ask incredulously. "Not in this house."
Adam and Mellie are already at the dinner table when we arrive. Luna and I join them, sitting down in our normal spots.
The second Luna has food on her plate, she devours it. I knew she needed to eat...I pace myself, savoring the fact that I'm sitting down without a computer beneath my fingers and a phone glued to my ear for the first time in a week.
"Hannah, what are we doing for your birthday this year?" Mellie asks before shoving a forkful of food into her mouth.
"Uh, I don't know, Mel," I say to her random question. "It's kind of far off."
Mellie's brow knits in confusion. "No it's not, it's next week."
I freeze, fork midway to my mouth. Thinking for way too long, I remember, "Oh...oh, yeah it is, isn't it?" Adam bursts into laughter while Mellie continues to stare. I look sheepishly to Luna. "We've been kinda busy over the last few days."
"Oh my God, Hannah." Luna puts her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry. In all the commotion-"
"Don't be embarrassed, Mom," Mellie tries to reassure her. "Hannah forgot her own birthday."
"It's Thursday, isn't it?" Luna says, more of a statement than a question. "The night of the party. Oh, Hannah."
She's right, but I shrug it off. "It's not a big deal."
"Yes, it is. Instead of celebrating you, we'll be throwing a party for your ex."
I reach across the table and cover her hand with mine. "Luna, it's fine. We'll just celebrate it a few days after, okay?"
Luna looks to me apologetically, but nods. There's no use in getting upset about it, it's already too late. And if I'm being honest, as far as the Ashton part of it goes, it doesn't bother me as much as it would have several weeks ago.
"Do you think Ashton could celebrate with us?" Adam asks innocently, his voice quiet. Mellie gives him a dirty look that says, shut up.
I know that Ashton has been in more frequent contact with the kids since I said something to him. The only reason I know that is because I've walked in on their phone conversations a few times over the last few weeks. I've also had the mail ripped from my hands, only to discover that Ashton has sent them a postcard from wherever he is on tour. Though I've tried to tell them several times that it doesn't bother me if they talk to him, Mellie still feels the need to hide it from me. Sometimes, I think she feels guilty for still wanting to know him. Adam has even offered to move his drum kit out of the living room.
"Adam, honey, they're gonna be so busy over the next several months," Luna tries to explain it to him. "I don't think Ashton will have time."
I can't help but feel a pang of guilt as when Adam looks down at his plate sadly.
The rest of dinner is drenched in silence and awkward glances across the table.
After dinner, Mellie and Adam offer to clean up, taking all of the dishes into the kitchen. "You have a lot of work to do," they explain to our surprised expressions. "We'll take care of this."
Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth, Luna and I disappear into her office once again, picking up the party planning where we left off.
"Are they going to be playing at this party?" I ask from the couch in the corner. "Or do we need to hire a DJ?"
"They're playing, but we need to hire a DJ for before."
Luna and I work in silence for about 10 minutes, me handling the DJ situation while she addresses the food. Luckily, the caterer she was going to use in New York has a franchise in Los Angeles, so switching over shouldn't be that big of a deal.
After the caterer has been handled, Luna hangs up her phone. I don't hear anything coming from her side of the room for a couple of long seconds. "Hannah?" I look up at her. "I'm asking you this out of respect for you, not because I think you can't handle it."
"What is it, Luna?" I urge her to go on.
"Do you want to work the party? Or do you want me to get someone else?"
I scoff at her. "Are you kidding me? If I'm putting all this work in, I need to be the one to see it through."
Luna laughs lightly, nodding. "Okay, then." She shuffles around some papers on her desk. "Okay, next item: lighting."
-----
At midnight, I forced Luna to go to sleep. The circles under her eyes were growing darker by the minute, so I insisted that I would take care of a few things if she promised me she would go upstairs and get a good night's sleep. Reluctantly, she agreed.
About 15 minutes after Luna left me alone in her office, I hear a knock at the door. "Luna, go to bed!"
"It's me." Mellie's voice is soft on the other side. She opens the door until the crack is big enough for her to poke her head through.
"What are you doing up?" The last time I checked, Mellie and Adam had gone to bed a few hours ago.
"I know, I'm sorry," Mellie says sheepishly. "But my friend sent me something I think you should see."
She walks over to me and hands me her phone. On the screen is an online article with the headline, "Ashton Irwin Seen in LA with Mystery Redhead". Heat rises to my cheeks as I scroll down, seeing pictures of myself alongside Ashton on a date. Accompanying the pictures is a short article that pays a weird amount of attention to what Ashton and I are wearing, but not much else.
"Who sent you this?" I ask her as I scan the article for any mention of my name. There is none, but my face is clearly visible.
"Leah," Mellie answers.
I never liked that girl.
"It's from a few months ago," she continues. "I did a bit of snooping, but I couldn't find any other article where you were mentioned."
That's because this was right before we broke up. "You snooped for me?"
"Of course," Mellie puts her hand on her hips. "Nobody messes with you without me finding out about it."
My heart warms a bit. I look back down at the phone. "Why didn't Ashton tell me?"
"You think he knew before you guys broke up?"
I look up at the top and note the date. "This is from the day he left for that 'Want You Back' release stuff. If he keeps on top of his own gossip, then maybe?"
I hand the phone back to Mellie. "I didn't say anything to Leah about you guys dating. I just said that you were friends who hung out every once in a while."
Smiling, I pull Mellie into a hug. "Thank you, Mel. And thank you for showing me."
"No problem."
"Now, go to bed. For real, this time."
"Night." Mellie disappears from Luna's office, waving at me behind her and closing the door.
For a minute or so, I stare into space, zoned out on a section of Luna's desk. Why wouldn't Ashton have told me about this? To protect me? I think about back at the start of our relationship when I almost ended everything before it began because he tried to protect me from a situation I figured I could handle. Now, my heart aches for his protection, his strength.
I would give anything to turn back to those days where we were happy together. If I knew then what I know now, I would take back those days I spent pushing him away and I would have let him in much sooner. Those pictures from the article flash through my mind. I remember how happy I was that night, to be alone with Ashton on the streets of Los Angeles, a place that didn't feel like home until he was there with me.
At the start of the new year, I told myself I was falling in love with Ashton Irwin. Now, I realize that I did a long time ago. Only now, it might be too late.
YOU ARE READING
Youngblood
FanfictionWhen I face him again, Ashton is smiling. He leans back slowly in his seat, resting his folded hands on his stomach. "This is gonna be fun." I narrow my eyes at him. "What's gonna be fun?" "Winning you over." I have to bite back the vomit that fight...
