June 2018
Hannah:
I have to admit that even with only two weeks to throw this album release party together, we kinda nailed it. Luna had to call in a few favors, but the venue was available, the lighting matches the overall aesthetic of the album perfectly, and the catering is a hit, with people devouring hors d'oeuvres off of the trays of waiters as they pass.
Even the outfits that Luna had picked out of her staff match the "Youngblood" theme. Luna is professionally dressed in a black and white striped jumpsuit, reminiscent of the album cover. My red dress is bright enough for Luna to find me in the dimly lit party space, which was the idea behind the ensemble. The skirt is shorter at the front, cut off just above my knees, and grows longer in the back, grazing the floor gently as I walk, paired with nude high heels that click clackall over the place, drawing way more attention than I care for.
I'm adjusting the skirt, pulling it down even though it won't go any farther, when I look up and notice that 5 Seconds of Summer has arrived.
Seeing Ashton is a lot easier than I thought it would be. I guess it's easier for me, considering the fact that I've done nothing but stare at his face for the past two weeks in preparation for this party (maybe the past few months since he's been gone as well). What makes it sort of difficult is the fact that Ashton already had his eyes locked on me when I find him standing next to his band near the stage. His expression is one I cannot place, certainly a mix of many things.
For all I know, he hasn't thought of me one iota.
Taking a deep breath, I decide that it's better to just dive in head first. Ashton watches me as I walk over to the group.
"Hey, Hannah." Calum says as I approach. He leans in for a hug, which I gladly accept.
"Hey, Calum." I pull back, smiling at him. "Congrats on the album. It's gonna be amazing."
"Thanks," he says. "We're excited."
I look up at Luke. "Your hair is so long," I note absentmindedly.
He runs a self-conscious hand through his long, curly locks as Michael comments, "Yeah, he grew it himself."
Michael's joke makes me really smile for the first time all night. I forgot how much I missed this group of talented, amazing dorks. Seeing Luke's face makes me think back to the shirts we made when Ashton came home and how he pretended to be upset that I was wearing his bandmate's face.
The day we broke up. It feels like a lifetime ago.
Finally, I turn to Ashton, whose smile seems relaxed. "Hey."
"Hey." I breathe. I forgot how much I missed his voice as well. "How've you been?"
He nods, looking around at the party before his eyes land back on me. "I've been good, you?"
"I'm doing well, thanks." I smile, thankful that it's true.
One of Luna's assistants walks by, tapping me on the shoulder as he passes. "Hey, Hannah, happy birthday, by the way."
I thank him as he disappears. When I turn to Ashton, he's staring at me. "It's your birthday."
"Yeah."
"Happy birthday," he offers, tipping his head toward me.
"Thanks. Happy album release."
He shrugs nonchalantly. "Thanks."
His response puzzles me. 5 Seconds of Summer has been working on this album for over a year and to seem so casual about it finally being released is very out of character for Ashton.
"Hannah," I hear a voice crackle in my ear. "We need you over at the entrance."
I press a finger to the button on my headset to respond to the call. "I'll be there in a second." I release the button and turn back to Ashton. "I'm sorry, I gotta go."
"Duty calls."
I hesitate to leave him. "Can we...can we talk later? Catch up a bit? If you have a second."
"Yeah," Ashton responds quickly, smiling at me. "Yeah, I'd like that."
I nod and depart with a fuzzy feeling in my stomach.
-----
Several hours and crises later, I take a moment to compose myself, slipping the headset down around my neck and stepping out onto the balcony of the venue for a breath of fresh air. It's only when I approach the edge that I realize that I'm not alone.
Ashton leans over the railing, arms resting on it, a bottle of beer dangling from his fingers. He turns to me right as I notice him. "Oh, hey."
"Hey," I say. "Sorry, I didn't realize anyone else was out here."
"No, it's okay." He reassures me, standing up straight. "Do you want to be alone?"
"No, you're fine," I say, putting my hands out. "You can stay if you want."
Ashton hesitates for a brief moment before he nods and resumes his previous position. I lean over the balcony myself, gazing out into the night sky.
Minutes pass. This is the longest that a silence has ever been held between the two of us. I decide to break it.
"You know," I begin. "Something has been bugging me for the past two weeks."
"What's that?"
I turn my head to look at Ashton. "Why did you move the release up?"
Ashton stares at me, unsure of how to answer. "There were a few reasons."
"What were they?"
Again, he hesitates. "We were eager to get the album out," he answers. "We were given the opportunity to release it a week early, so we decided to take it. Other bigger artists were releasing on the same day and we wanted to have a better chance of having a higher place in the charts."
I nod, though I feel like there's something he's not telling me. "What about your party in New York?"
Ashton shakes his head. "I like L.A. a lot better. We all do."
"Where was the party even supposed to be there?" I ask him. "What venue?"
"The Callahan Center." Ashton responds with disgust, wrinkling his nose almost involuntarily. He quickly regains his composure.
"I don't know that one," I say, trying to think hard about whether or not I've heard that name before, but coming up with nothing.
"It's owned by Steven Hale."
I look to Ashton, the skin on my arms involuntarily forming goosebumps. "Why would Luna plan for your event to be at a building owned by her ex-husband?"
"It was a new purchase," he replies, shifting the beer bottle back and forth between his hands like he needs to be physically doing something in order to keep himself distracted from being angry. "Luna had no idea."
"Did that have any influence on you moving the album release date?"
"Like I said, we saw an opportunity and took it," he says, taking a swig of his beer and turning to me. "If that meant that that bastard lost a little revenue, so be it."
I feel the breath escape my lungs, the wind completely knocked out of me. All I can muster is a small, "Thank you."
He takes another sip of his beer, acknowledging my thanks with a curt nod. "Plus, it was nice to tell him to go fuck himself."
A giggle bursts out of me, making Ashton smile. "I would have paid money to see that."
Again, we are doused in the quiet, standing together on the balcony. We've never been this shy around each other. We used to do nothing but talk. "Mellie showed me an old article yesterday." This piques his interest. "Something about a 'Mystery Redhead'..."
It takes a second, but I see the realization cross over Ashton's face. "I forgot about that."
"You knew?" I ask. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I saw it right before we left to promote 'Want You Back'," he explains. "I didn't know how you'd react, so I wanted to tell you in person, but when I got back..."
"We broke up," I finish for him.
He nods solemnly. "I wanted to tell you, but with everything that happened, I just forgot. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. I'm not mad about it or anything." I try to come up with a further response, but my brain comes up empty. In my silence, Ashton continues,
"There's...something else I wanted to tell you when I got back that day."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." I face Ashton, who had already been looking at me when our eyes meet. "I shouldn't have pushed you to come with me on tour. It was childish and very much something 17-year-old Ashton would have done. All I could think of was spending more time with you, but we're adults and you have a life here. You were right; you're way too independent for that."
Surprised by his sudden apology, I feel the awkwardness from before melt away. "Thank you. That means a lot," I tell him. "I'm sorry, too."
"For what?"
"For being such a jerk about it." I laugh through my answer. "I tend to get really defensive when it comes to the kids, but there was, for sure, a better way to handle that whole situation to make it not so messy."
Ashton nods thoughtfully, gazing out over the balcony again. "Thanks."
After a beat of silence, "I decided," I say to get Ashton's attention. He looks over at me, which gives me pause. Gathering courage, I tell him my big news. "I decided to enroll in culinary school."
Ashton gapes at me, his eyes wide. "What? Hannah, that's amazing."
His grin his infectious, spreading to my face easily. "I know. I just got the acceptance letter two days ago."
"When you do start?"
"In the fall," I say, nodding excitedly. "I can take classes during the day and be back before the kids are out of school. It'll be a lot of work, but..."
"You're gonna kill it." Ashton's voice is soft. "I hope it's not weird to say that I'm proud of you."
I feel my eyes well up, but bite back the tears threatening to break the surface. "Not weird at all. Nice to hear, actually."
We stand in silence for a few minutes, looking out at the Los Angeles skyline. Despite the dark of the night, the city is lit up, almost giving the illusion that it's daytime. Cars pollute the air with noise as they drive down the roads, young partiers just starting their nights.
Out of nowhere, Ashton's voice breaks the silence, "Can I say something?"
"Of course," I say, my eyes fixed on a large group of young women walking down the street, whooping and hollering loudly, dressed in shiny, short dresses and heels that put the city's skyscrapers to shame.
I hear Ashton let out a long, deep breath. When I look over at him, he is standing up straight to face me, his bottle discarded on the cocktail table next to him. "I need to tell you," he begins slowly. "But I don't want you to freak out."
I raise an eyebrow at him. "Well, the surefire way to get me to not freak out is to tell me to not freak out." Ashton chuckles in response, but it's not his usual giggle. There is a nervousness behind it. "Ash, what is it?"
"Hannah," he takes a step closer, the gap between us shrinking slightly. Finally, he breathes softly, "I'm still in love with you."
My breath hitches in my throat. I can't look away from Ashton's pleading eyes as they bore into me. "I know that I didn't say it before, but I felt it. I should have said it months ago," he continues. "Back when I first realized it. I should have told you...there are so many times I wish I told you."
But all I can do is stare. I physically can't produce words; they wont come out. "I should have told you I loved you when you told me about Steven," Ashton continues over my shock. "I should have told you when I got back that day and you guys had thrown that little mini party for me. I should have told you so many times and I know that it's probably too late now, but I'm so in love with you and I thought you deserved to know that I am so thankful that your ball landed in my yard."
"Ashton," I bring a hand to my agape mouth. At this point, trying to contain my tears as they flow from my eyes is useless. "I've been waiting for months to hear you say that."
Ashton freezes, his turn to be surprised. "You have?"
"Yes." I breathe. "Ashton, I have spent these past three months thinking about you every day. I hated the way we ended things and I wanted to talk to you, but I didn't think you'd want to hear from me."
"I did." He takes another step toward me, urgently. "God, Hannah, I wanted to call you every day, but I didn't think-I mean, I assumed-"
I choke out a laugh. "We're quite the pair, aren't we?"
Ashton smiles in response. "We wouldn't be us without a bit of miscommunication."
I wipe the tears from my face and take a deep breath, looking into Ashton's eyes as deeply as I can. "Ashton Irwin. From the moment I met you, I thought you were a jerk. For weeks, you drove me insane, never leaving me alone, using the kids to get to me-"
"Not true."
"Do I need to remind you of your little transaction with Mellie?"
Ashton shuts his mouth, but struggles to suppress a smile.
"And yet," I continue. "I completely fell for you. I couldn't help it. I mean, if we're being honest, you didn't give me much of a choice."
"You fell for me?" Ashton asks, grinning like an idiot.
Despite everything, I roll my eyes. "What are you, in seventh grade? Yes, I like-like you."
"Ooh, like-like?" he reaches out, taking one of my hands in his. "That's so much better than love."
"Is it? Because I love you, too." I say, taking his other hand. "You're my person."
"You're mine." Ashton lets out a breath, a sigh of relief. "I'd really like to kiss you now."
"You'd better."
And he does.
-FIN-
-----
Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has stuck around to read this story and to the new readers as well. I really appreciate that you all have taken the time to read this and I hope you liked the finale! Let me know what you think in the comments!
YOU ARE READING
Youngblood
FanfictionWhen I face him again, Ashton is smiling. He leans back slowly in his seat, resting his folded hands on his stomach. "This is gonna be fun." I narrow my eyes at him. "What's gonna be fun?" "Winning you over." I have to bite back the vomit that fight...
