The night may have been young but the people were getting old. I was getting tired of the same people, having the same conversations, laughing at the same jokes and retelling the same stories. Over and over and over. It was like a never ending cycle.
Tonight it was for a good excuse - Maggie had finally turned 18 and so it was deemed necessary to celebrate - but it didn't change the fact that the charade was getting a bit tedious to keep up.
I kept forcing the laughter and faking the smiles - if only to appease Mags. After all, it was her night and she deserved to enjoy herself. What was a few hours to me if it meant making sure my best friend was happy.
Maggie and I met on her first day of Parramatta High when she accidentally found herself in the boys bathroom. She seemed as lost and helpless as she was embarrassed so, after helping her out of the rather untasteful situation she'd found herself in, I sneaked her off campus to skip the remainder of the day. we spent the afternoon wandering around Parramatta park.
She introduced herself as Maggie - insisting that Margot was a name that should never have been brought into this century - and told me she was new and was still trying to find her way around a school that is twice the size and population of what she was used to. I Asked her about what it was like living on the coast - she said she was from Nelsons Bay - and about her family. She told me why she had moved and what she missed most about home. She also asked me questions. About life in the city, my friends, my family. We talked and talked and talked until the temperature had dropped to pleasant and the sun painted the sky a brilliant palette of pastels.
That was three years ago and she has since become an established part of my life acting as both bubbly best friend and annoying little sister.
Now that sister was getting old and apparently becoming an adult is something worth celebrating which is why I am currently surrounded by the same old faces, wearing the same fake smiles, sharing the same conversations as always.
"How pretty are the [insert some decorative feature]"
"How fine does [insert one of the girls name] look tonight"
"Did I tell you about the time [insert long and overused story that has been retold a thousand times]"
You get the picture?
As Maggie hung around cutting and distributing cake she laughed at something Dillon said, causing her nose to crinkle in delight. At least she was having fun.
I glanced down momentarily, discreetly tilting my wrist to get a glimpse of the time. 8:37. Had it really only been seven minutes since I last checked? It seemed like a half hour had gone by ...
"Ready to jet already?" Lily smirks, catching my supposedly subtle action.
I sigh heavily and take a swig of the cider I am holding before shooting her an apologetic look. "Sorry Lil, I was listening. I am just so tired and am finding it so hard to concentrate."
It wasn't a complete lie - I mean I totally wasn't listening at all but I was telling her the truth when I told her I was really tired. I am really tired of being here ...
"Oh what a load of bull" she laughs in amusement, "I knew you'd zoned out as soon as you started nodded along when I said I'd smash you in soccer trials so I'd be made captain this year instead of yourself. I've been reciting the periodic table ever since."
My eyes widen in shock and I feel a blush of embarrassment creep it's way up my neck and colour my cheeks the colour of Lilly's hair. This is why I don't lie - because I always get caught out.
I scratch the nape of my neck and duck my head. "How far through did you get?" I mumble quietly
"Iodine" she smirks in satisfaction. "Was just about to dive into all the inathonoids when I noticed you check your watch for the second time in the last ten minutes. You got somewhere to be?"
I run a hand through my hair and let out a deep breath I didn't realise I'd been holding. She saw through it - the facade I'd put on, the charade I'd been playing. The mask I'd worked so hard to keep on so that no one realised how distant I'd become from it all - from my friends, study, soccer, music.
I was missing something- but it was something I couldn't name or put my finger on. It was the kind of something I didn't realise I had until it was gone. Maybe it was something I never had to begin with and I was only just subconsciously starting to realise now that I could exist without it. Like I couldn't continue to be Henry until I found it.
If that was the case I would have to find it soon because I just didn't feel like me anymore.
And apparently it was starting to show.
. . .
I held off leaving for another hour.
People mingled and spoke to one another loudly, competing to be heard over the surrounding conversations while a track of Hazel's favourite bands played softly in the background.
Dillon stood across from me, retelling the account of one of our misguided hiking adventures to a few other guys and a handful of girls. He animatedly illustrated the story with dramatic hand gestures and exaggerated sound effects that had the group in stitches.
I laughed along absentmindedly while checking my watch for what would have to be the seven billionth time tonight. It read 9:42 and I justified that that is both a respectable and non suspicious time to bail on your best friends 18th.
I quietly slip from the group and turn to scan the crowd for hazel when I collide with something that lets out a small squeak of surprise.
After I realise that it's usually a someone not a something that makes that noise, I quickly look down and reach out to catch and steady the person I accidentally steamrolled.
"I am so sorry!" I rush out in horrified embarrassment when I realise it's someone I don't recognise. I mean it's one thing to accidentally run over a friend but a complete stranger? Good one Henry.
A curtain of short wavy hair covers her face as she is looking down. She is shaking her head - whether in disgust at me or embarrassment for me I'm not sure - and she unconsciously pulls at the hem of her black dress.
"I completely wasn't paying attention and I didn't even see -" the apology dies in my throat and she lifts her head and meets my concerned gaze.
That was when I first saw her.
