Fazed by Me

II

Drifter

If there was anything that brought me peace, a silent summer night was definitely the pièce de resistance that brought the sound of the crickets and the sigh of the summer breeze that softly caressed the windchimes together to create a calm symphony that embraced me tenderly. A welcomed serene atmosphere that my life needed. For a moment, I could pretend that this was my reality. The still calmness of it all made me think of what I could be instead of what I am. A drifter always has been always will be. I'm not sure if the events of my childhood are what lead me to develop this persona.

Grandpa, a big teddy of a man used to tell me that, people like me no one ever knew if we were too cowardly to stay or too strong to be kept in a cage, in a box in a world where we knew was too small for the ideas that we had. My Nan used to say I'm a free spirit, like she and her ancestors before her, we were warriors that couldn't be shackled down. We were fearless, needed to experience everything, had to see everything. For as long as I could remember, I believed what my nan said wholeheartedly, at least I did when there was a we that bound us.

Back when communicating with them was easy, when talking to them was easy, when I could speak and see my grandpa's deep chocolate brown eyes twinkle, when I could breathe in the lingering essence of his cigars and the smell of wax that he had put on his car, the first car he ever bought.

" She's a beauty" he would tell me.

Every time, my nan would turn around a deep laugh would rise to the top of the room embracing any and every object, and when she spoke, the sound of protest and resistance would lift the room in the rhythm that flowed through the kinks and curls of her hair. The smell of her leathered skin reminded me of a good summer night storm, enchanting as it was dangerous. They smelled like and looked like home. My home, A home. Now, talking is hard, restrained, they don't look at me anymore, they don't smell like they used too. The only sound that I hear are my own words ringing heavy in the air, as they carry my sound to the sky, hoping and praying that as heavy as my words are, they will be light enough to reach the heavens to reassure them that I am fine. Well as fine as I can be.

The distant sound of an ambulance brought me back to reality, that still air suddenly feeling too hot and suffocating to be endured any longer, any peace I had slowly disappeared, quickly I went back into my car, the heat following me as well. I sighed hating the way it coated my skin like another layer.

Time for ice cream I thought as enter the ice cream shop. Everything seemed too loud, I heard a wail of a baby in the back, the laughs of overly rambunctious teenagers making me wish it was winter again.

" Next in line please" the sound of the barista brought me back, nervously I stepped closer to the glass case.

" Hi, can I have a chocolate cup with coconut shavings please" I cursed myself, my voicing coming out less sure than I wanted it to. Thankfully, the server paid no mind and handed me my cup, I looked around the shop and for any available seats, the one closest to the exit catching my eye.

Perfect I thought, I sat down and ate my ice cream gleefully, the satisfaction of giving in to my cravings bringing a smile to my face which instantly dropped as I saw a colleague from school entering the shop, hoping to not be seen I shrunk back a little. Too bad my efforts were wasted as I heard my name being called or what I'd like to think was another rendition of it.

" Fai, hi," the brunette said as she waved frantically, all thoughts of escaping leaving my mind as I was trapped, great I thought.

" Annabelle," I said, as I over enounced her name hoping she would get the hint that I didn't like the nickname.

" Oh my god, who would've thought I would run into you, weird right?"

" Ya weird" I mean considering this is the university part of town, and we do go to the same uni that's five minutes away, I guess this was weird, I mean there are stranger things that could have happened. Quickly she shuffled inside my booth with a darker haired woman and two guys behind her.

" We'll get our ice creams and sit with you if that's cool, it's cool, right? " It really wasn't but I had manners so I smile or at least attempted to smile a half looking closed mouth genuine smile, which I guessed worked because they later came back with their ice cream. Annabelle assumed the leader position and introduced her entourage.

" Fai, this is Alana, Irving, and Emmanuel," she said pointing to the dark-haired women as well as the two guys with her which I paid little mind to.

" Fai that's a cool name," Alana said in a thick British accent surprising me a bit.

"Actually my name is Faiza," I said emphasizing the "za" in my name, as I looked at Annabelle who looked as oblivious as always.

" That's really nice, original," said one of the boys, et alors? I thought. Annabelle making her presence known again took the attention back to her

" Anyways, we're going to chill with some other people you should totally come by-"

" I'm actually good, I just got off work a-"

" Just come by for an hour I'll send you the address, it's not a party or anything its just a chill hangout, plus I haven't seen you in like two months girl, just this once come through and I'll never bother you again" Great the guilt card I said.

" Maybe," I said picking my stuff and walking towards the door

" That wasn't a no and I'm holding you to it" Annabelle gleamed with happiness that I could practically feel, sickening I thought as I opened the door to my car and sped off to my apartment where my plans for a quiet night weren't disturbed, at least not yet.

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𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚙𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚍𝚒𝚍 𝙸 𝚍𝚘? 𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚗𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚏𝚞𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝.

𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚞𝚙𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢!

𝚡𝚘𝚡𝚘 𝙰𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝙼𝚒𝚊