Utilized [h.s] - slow updates

Chapter 13.

A/N: For the ones who haven't seen my trailer it's on the side or above, depends if you're reading on your phone or on the computer :D

Sometimes I claim out of bed in the morning and I think, I'm not going to make it but then I laugh inside - remembering all the times I've felt that way. Just like any other day.

Sometimes you have to stop waiting for someone to come along and fix what's wrong. Maybe you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that no one else has the answer. Sometimes, you have to be your own hero.

I want to move to a small apartment by myself somewhere, in a new city and I want to decide which furniture I want and what I want for dinner.

Whether or not to stay out all night and most of all - I want to travel and meet new people. Go away from this place and far from the people who lives here. It's so much pain in these streets, to many memories..

I want to have my own adventures because I'm sick of this washed-up place filled with annoying people.

What's bothering me the most is that if I could go back in time and change everything - I would. It would have been different.

I have always thought that I'd rather be physically hurt than emotionally. Because you can put a band-aid on your finger but you could never put one at your heart.

I have figured.

We all do things, we said we would never do. I mean look at me... I never planed to become a bartender in a stipclub.

For gods sake, when I was seven years old I wanted to be an astronaut or taking care of animals, maybe work in the military because I thought the FBI or CIA was cool.

Never wished what I have now but you got to do everything to survive I guess...

I love the rain. I love how it softens the outlines of things. The world becomes softly blurred and I feel like I melt right into it. And maybe if I'll just sit in the rain, I could drown in something else than my own thoughts.

Different sizes and colors on every umbrella where covering the city today. The sky was filled with dark grey clouds and heavy rain drops where smashing into the ground. Most people was hiding inside because of the bad weather but the poor people who's still working are suffering inside their building.

I don't understand why people hate the rain so much. It's peaceful and I love falling asleep to the sound of rain.

Every now and then the trees quiver and the leaves who's left rush against each other and make these monumental whirring sounds. The lightening are glowing up the dark sky which is filled with clouds.

The cigarette between my teeth have extinguished due to the weather. My hair hangs down heavily on my shoulders and the raindrops strikes my skin and flows down below my clothes. Leaning against the driver's side, I stand outside Elena's apartment waiting for her.

People gave me strange looks and judging me who isn't holding an umbrella to protect myself from the rain. Pfs, fuck them.

''What the hell are you doing outside your car without an umbrella girl?!'' Elena screams as she's running towards my Audi R8 with a neon pink umbrella in her hand. Really?

As I threw away the cigarette, I mumbled ''Drowning in my own thoughts'' but it seemd like El didn't hear me.

When we both got inside the car, soaking wet, Elena is shaking because of the cold. Me - trying to be the good friend I am, I turned up the heat inside my car.

''Give me your car keys.'' El turned to face me as she conditioned her right hand in front of my own face, gesturing to give her my car keyes.

''What?''