Oh God Not Again! By Sarah1281

Chapter 40

The few days saw the reemergence of the 'Support Cedric Diggory – the REAL Hogwarts Champion' badges. Unlike last time, however, they were created by Harry to try and prevent confusion about whether or not there were one or three Hogwarts Champions. Of course, Harry had to use Colin as a proxy to sell the badges to the Hufflepuffs as it was far too soon to expect them to be able to speak to him for any length of time without attempting to hex him. And Draco was taking a great deal of delight in 'proving' that Harry was a witch all along through his Harry-in-drag wall scrolls, whose sales really started to pick up. It really made Harry wonder how being Draco's friend was all that different from being his enemy, but then he supposed to be fair he had set the tone for their relationship three years ago with that widely believed rumor.

"Harry, have you contacted your Headmaster yet?" Luna asked him seriously.

"My Headmaster? No, was I supposed to see Dumbledore about something?" Harry asked, trying to remember.

"No, no. The Headmaster – or Headmistress, more likely – or Salem Witches' Academy," Luna clarified. "You're entitled to representation too, you know."

"Is Salem even a real school?" Harry asked, surprised.

"Of course it is," Luna replied. "So that means you haven't then?"

"I have no idea who the Head-person is," Harry confirmed.

"Do you mind if I write to them then?" Luna asked. "They really should be informed."

"Even though I'm not really a student?" Harry asked.

"Even though you're not a student," Luna agreed. "Because for the sake of the Tournament, you're an honorary student anyway."

"Feel free," Harry told her.

"Thanks," Luna beamed. "Now, did you see that the Tournament made the Quibbler? Second page, too!"

"No, I didn't," Harry admitted. "Did you write it?"

"Of course," Luna said, handing him the most recent edition of her father's newspaper. "I was an eyewitness."

Harry Potter Ruins Triwizard Tournament

By Luna Lovegood

The Former Triwizard Tournament (Now the Pentawizard Playoffs), in which Viktor Krum is confused, Fleur Delacour is uptight, Cedric Diggory is complacent, Frederick "Forge" Weasley is awesome, and Harry Potter has the sex change they had planned for Ronald Weasley [younger brother to Frederick Weasley] last year.

In related news, Sirius Black is being temporarily placed into the London prison system because he "cruelly abandoned [his godson Harry Potter] for most of [his] life while [Sirius Black] went off living it up in Majorca." He is expected to be released before his godchild returns from boarding school and is legally required to attend biweekly meetings discussing "The Dangers of Child Abuse."

More on page 6 as well as 27 Uses for Jell-OO That You Never Would Have Thought Of (29 for Orange).

"Interesting title," Harry remarked. "It's not very flattering, though."

"Well, you did ruin any chance of this being a Triwizard Tournament when you entered Fred, even though you did not enter yourself," Luna pointed out.

"True," Harry acknowledged. "Pentawizard Playoffs...I like it."

"That's good," Luna told him, "seeing as how I petitioned to get the Tournament renamed."

"Did it work?" Harry asked.

"Pending approval from Fudge," Luna answered. "I have a meeting with him after lunch today."

"What's this about Sirius being placed in prison?" Harry asked. "I don't recall that happening..."