it's time 'ch.3

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[i feel like the song for this chapter should be 'Under the Bridge' by The Red Hot Chili Peppers but that's just my opinion listen if you want.]

Ashton sat next to Luke on the sofa in Michael's hotel room, staring at his phone with the iTunes application open. Michael sat across from them on the ottoman, with Calum siting on the other side of Luke. All of them were counting down for the official release for their album. It had already been launched in the rest of the world, and now they were saving North America for last. Their hotel was in New York City, so they had the correct time. It was 11:55 at night and Ashton was getting impatient. Luke laughed at him.

"Ashton, quit being so anxious. You already have our album on your phone." Luke reminded Ashton. Ashton bounced his knee up and down and Michael rolled his eyes. 

"That's on my UK phone. I don't have the album on my America phone." Ashton complained. Luke shook his head and glanced at the time on his phone. It was now 11:58. Ashton squealed and Calum burst out in laughter. Michael giggled and soon burst out in laughter with Calum. Luke grabbed his phone and check iTunes also. It was now officially midnight  in New York and Ashton and Luke cheered. Michael and Calum sat up, trying to catch their breath for air.

"The Five Seconds Of Summer album is now officially available for the whole world to hear!" Luke yelled and the rest of the boys clapped. Luke sighed of happiness and flopped on the sofa.

"Do you think everyone will like the song I wrote?" Luke asked them rhetorically. Michael shrugged, now laying on his back while playing on his phone. Calum nodded and Ashton scurried to the kitchen to find his headphones. Luke shook his head and scrolled through his Twitter feed on his phone. Mentions came up as usual and one tweet caught his eye. A fan had asked Luke if the song he wrote, which he named it Amnesia, was based off of someone. Luke's breathing hitched and he took a deep breath. None of the guys seemed to noticed, and Luke was thankful for that. He stood up and started walking to the bathroom. He shut the door, locking it behind him, and walked up to the sink.

"It's time to say goodbye." Luke whispered to himself and stared at his reflection in the mirror. His hands were gripping both sides of the sink, his knuckles turning white. He took in his reflection. His hair was in a blonde quiff, still full of product from the earlier performance in New York. His Nirvana t-shirt had a few holes in the shoulders that weren't noticeable until you took a good look at them. Crystal blue eyes, a black lip ring, small freckles scattered around his nose. Luke dithered on why Katriana ever loved him. Guess that's the reason why she left me. He told himself. I wasn't good enough for her.

Luke glared at himself in the mirror and choked on a sob. "You're the reason why she's gone." He hissed at himself. "You asshole!" He cried and punched the mirror. A shot of pain flared through his arm and he groaned in pain. Luke landed on the bathroom floor and scooted towards a wall. He clutched his fist and winced everytime he tried to move it. His legs were against his chest and his forehead rested on his knees. His knuckles were now bleeding, shards of glass sticking out of his skin. A loud and fast knock came from the other side of the door. "Luke? Are you okay in there? We heard a loud crash and we're worried about you." Calum called from the hallway. Luke stifled a laugh.

"Why would you worry about me? I'm fine. I can handle things by myself." Luke sneered. From the outside of the door, Calum had an expression of sadness.

"Oh, well, we worry about you because we care about you, buddy. You're our best friend." Calum told Luke. Luke chuckled.

"I still can't believe you're friends with me after what happened with Katriana." Luke laughed. Calum's eyes widened and he started banging on the door.

"Luke. Open the door, now." Calum demanded, hoping Luke would obey him.

"Why should I listen to you?" Luke asked. He felt as if he could fall of the face of the Earth at any moment and no one would notice. Due to this sudden change of mood, Luke didn't care about anyone anymore.

"Open. The. Fucking. Door." Calum hissed. Luke sighed in defeat and scooted to the door, attempting to open it while sitting on the floor and with one hand. When Luke unlocked the door, it swung open and Calum burst in the bathroom. He grabbed the collar of Luke's shirt and slammed him against the wall. Luke groaned and Calum glared at him. "Why would you mention Katriana on a night like this, Luke? It's supposed to be a happy, celebratory night," Calum whispered to Luke, his voice low and cold. "But no. You had to make it about you and Katriana. You knew that I missed her too, you were just caught up in your own emotions to even care about my sorrows."

"You don't miss her anymore?" Luke questioned, struggling for air. Calum looked down and then back up at Luke.

"Of course I miss her. She was like a younger sister to me. She was irreplaceable. Hell, she still is." Calum confessed. Luke frowned and sighed. "I'm sorry." He breathed out.

"Sorry for what?" Calum let Luke down on the floor and Luke fell to the ground. He tried to catch his breath and looked up at Calum.

"For being the cause of Katriana's death." Luke whispered. Calum shook his head.

"You weren't the cause for her suicide, Luke." Calum sighed. He helped Luke up and dragged him out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. He searched for bandages in the cabinets and checked under the sink. Luke sat on a stool in the kitchen and inspected his bruised and cut hand.

"What happened to my mirror?!" Michael yelled from the bathroom. Luke looked down and leaned his head on his elbow.

"It's been broken, Michael. You just haven't noticed." Calum hollered back to him. Luke looked up at Calum and gave him a faint smile. Calum nodded at him and grinned.

"Oh. Well, I should report to the manager about the blood on it also." He responded. Luke flinched and groaned. Calum walked up to Luke setting the first aid kit in front of him. "Here, patch up your kunckles. We don't want Michael to get suspicious." He told him. Luke nodded and did as he was told.

'

It was the night of their performance on the Jimmy Kimmel show. The band was getting ready to perform Amnesia, one of the hardest songs Luke struggles to sing without breaking down. No one acknowledged his cut up hand, and he was grateful for that. As they entered the stage for their TV performance, fans started screaming and Luke sighed. Michael started strumming his guitar to the notes of Amnesia and Calum started singing the first verse.

While he was singing, Luke walked up to Michael and said "Wish me luck." Michael nodded and he knew it would be hard on Luke to sing such a heartreaking song, especially since it was based on true events. As Calum sang the end of the first verse, Luke started singing the chorus.

"I remember the day you told me you were leaving,"

Luke took a shaky breath.

"I remember the makeup running down your face."

Hopefully no one would notice his shaky singing.

"And the dreams you left behind, you didn't need them,"

He couldn't do it. His eyes started watering.

"Like every single wish we ever made."

Luke looked down and choked on a silent sob.

"You guys sing now. I wish-"

He had to let the crowd sing to gather his emotions and pull it together.

Maybe it's not time to say goodbye.

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