Bittersweet Memories

Its all about Cortisol & Dopamine...

People are most of the time very toxic. As long as you are beneficial for them,as long as u please them in any possible way they will be pleased and then for that particular period of time they will make u feel as if u r better. I don't know y r we toxic to others. Life is short. But. We merely understand that. All we do is to make life difficult for those who are around us. Without even knowing how hard someone is struggling to survive. We hardly care for others. The more technological life we are opting the more we are moving farfrom humanity. Every night a girl sleeps crying, till the moment in mid night when Almighty secretly descends in her heart the peace n courage that she can survive.. People are toxic in every possible way they can be. Being a hijabian or beared doesnot make u pious..If u hurt the people around you in secret ways. If u forget that Almighty is there in ur heart an even near than ur jugular vein..I don't knw how we can be so insecure. Insecurities..Well I guess insecurities existwhere someone believes he or she lacks the guts.The guts of being confident. The guts of surviving.Yes, basically the guts of surviving.

Woah..Sometimes I just want to laugh. A big lunatic laugh..May be I am immature..May be I need to learn more..

Anyways.I really wonder how can people live freely.By free I mean to know that being todays years old I still don't find myself Sound enough to digest the bitterness of life.WOAH. To me life is just a Bittersweet glass of juice which every one has to drink.No matter if one is willing or not. And it is entirely in the hands of luck if u taste the bitter portion earlier or sweet one or may be throughout ur entire life u are supposed to taste the amalgam of this bittersweetness. Anyways,This is what life is all about.May be the quote of Rumi thing still implies that " If they had not been imbicles , how could they have been satisfied merely by paradise and its streams?"-----Or may belief is only an easy job for imbicles. May be...

So uncertain about my surroundings.. Don't know how to react and respond.. I feel may be my hijab is a hurdle,may be my alone nature, may be I am a misfit..dont knw why I am so mistrusted and misunderstood..may be its all about feelings..may be its all about attitudes..may be Life is not for me or may be I am very over sensitive..Trying hard to make both ends meet..I don't know at a moment it feels like people are happy with their life, anyone least cares about me, the next moment I feel like may be I have a poor reaction to things, may be my perception is poor, may be I cant apprehend what people are and what they want to say..I feel like crying may be..in a room crowded with 35-40 people who are chatting with eachother, listening, may be taking the clues and manipulating ppl..I feel like alone idk why I am hesitant to talk to people..May be I realize the reality that ppl are bitter in their actions and in their talks..Alot running through the brain..At times I feel like its better to avoid the people although at times u need people to talk to but the moment u realize that people are a wreck then u realize its for ur good that u avoid people n in return get avoided.Or may be its not just avoiding people, may be it is like saving urself..I feel people around me are more strong in their actions and their relationships, In love and their commitments,Or may be its like today I have nothing to do that's why I am feeling this way..

BREAKOUT..Yes may be a BREAKOUT is all that is needed and desired.May be a li'l more maturity..May be I should stop competing with world in intelligence and every thing else..May be this way I can live in peace..Peace may be is the thing that I lack the most today.. I have got a job though its kind of ajib but I have fought for it so I have to reassure myself that its okay..Or may be its like I have got a productive mind and I cant sit still..

May be its all about Cortisol and Dopamine..Maybe..