Bittersweet Memories

Life comes as we take it...

Heavily raining cold evenings..As cold as she is towards her surroundings or maybe warm enough so that the warmth is no more felt as warmth..Sitting on her favorite stairs--that ascend from the launge of her home,She loves to sit and spend time on the stairs because she has spent some of the best memories of her life by sitting on those stairs sometimes holding organic chemistry and some times physics but most of the times it was biology book--The cold evenings were always so welcoming to her like the lap of her mother .always there, to hold her tightly in the arms.She always felt as the cool breeze own some character of warmth in itself as she sits on the stairs..She was happy as such an evening is all she wanted to experience and and always longed for in every summer noon..

It was a usual winter evening the difference only lies in the fact that this  time she has nothing special to think about or may be nothing significant...As the thunderstorm becomes more howling she moved out in the balconny --which was near the stairs,an old song in headfones..Took her somewhere far in the past...Some worthless moments...She was so lost in past that she hardly notices that rain drops along with tear drops are pouring drop by drop in her big mug of tea..The tea in itself was a metaphor,,,It takes her 5years back when he texted her that he is having a cup of tea and she got addicted to theophiline because...  

Again the spell of pain and agony,worthlessness and shattered pieces of her soul which she is habitual of gathering after every such spell...She has read somewhere that sometimes u feel pleasure in pain and this is the moment which if experienced makes u UNBREAKABLE, p.s she still awaits for this moment with tears in her eyes and an asphyxiated expectation that may be someday she too become UNBREAKABLE ...may be some day..or some other day..

Thunderstorm grew stronger with every passing moment..The songs....An old play list that she never wanted to listen as each song out of those some 500 songs --heard over past 5 years --though still less for the unexpressed feelings she always wished to be listened by him--bring every painful moment she spent in longing for his attention and him,like an indifferent prince of some fairytale state,keeps on ignoring her love and every li'l effort she ever made in order to gain his attention but she always failed...

Later the evening ,it was getting darker,now the thunderstorm being successful in converting that mere cold evening into a chilling traditional  winter night--full of emotions,still unexpressed like the rain of winter evening which no matter how hard tries but always fall short in making that short winter evening into masmerizing one--....AAAH" people are wreck", again a murmur that could be easily heard by anyone sitting nearby very easily,rather a handful of people she is blessed with are always surrounding her knew her this slang well...

Being drowned in the agony she has been through her past 26 years suddenly she recalls handfull of achievements she made through this painful journey..She feels strong when she still finds herself being confident,strong,successful lady despite of all the damage people ever done to her...She reminds herself that she has to arrange a theme for upcoming international conference...woah cracking the joints,tying up her knee length long hairs into a messy bun, wiping some left over tear drops that might have not dried even by the warmth of her cheeks and even the rhinitis itself was not enough to wipe them off her cheeks...

May be life is all about how we take it...