The Highest Bidder

❊ Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ Tʜɪʀᴛʏ﹣Oɴᴇ ❊

"For the third time." I sighed and hit Enzo with one of my pillows. "Yes, I like you."

He seemed to think about that for a few minutes. I told him that I had feelings for him in three different ways. All of which I made sure to tell him that what I was feeling wasn't quite love. I wouldn't allow myself to love him.

Not yet, at least.

He nodded, as if finally understanding, even though I said that same thing two other times. Maybe he just wanted to see me get annoyed. If that was the case, then it was beginning to work. If I would have had to repeat myself again, I would have probably ended up choking him. There wasn't any other way to say it. And it was getting awkward.

Enzo looked at me from the corner of his eye with a smirk. "You're the first girl in an incredibly long time to admit her feelings truthfully to me without expecting sex right after."

"You're certainly full of yourself," I mumbled. "What happened to the guy who would scowl at me for looking at him wrong?"

"Oh, he's still here." He closed his eyes and rested his head on the wall behind the bed. "Tell me, since I told you how long it has been for me, how long has it been for you?"

I sighed, thinking back. Honestly, the last time I did something even remotely close to that with a man was with Vince. Ever since then, I tried to stay away from men. And even if I were to meet up with a man for a dinner date or a movie, I never allowed them to get close enough. I became sarcastic, which eventually drove everyone away.

"Since I was nineteen." I watched for his reaction. He only peeked one eye open and looked at me. He may have thought a few months was a long time. But five years was much longer. I had always felt like women could last longer without it than a man could, so a few months probably felt like five years for him.

He made a noise that sounded like a "hmph" before closing his eye again. I remembered the last time we were in bed together and how he looked so peaceful when he was asleep. How relaxed his facial muscles were, making him look five years younger than his thirty. Seeing him in my bed - well, my bed until a year - made me have an odd ache in my chest. I wanted him to sleep with me again. Nothing sexual. Just...sleep.

I wanted to ask him if he would, but I didn't dare. The last time we slept in the same bed may have been the best sleep of my life. But in the same instance, something happened between us.

To tell the truth, I think I was afraid of what would happen if I allowed myself to get too close to him. There was this prickling in the back of my mind that would remind me time and time again that Vince was the exact same way. Vince acted as if he cared about me. As did the "friends" I had in high school. But they all turned out...wrong.

Then there was what Sophia had said. She didn't believe all men were the same, but she did believe what Enzo showed me was his true self.

I always hated second-guessing myself. I liked to keep a firm handle on my emotions, especially after what happened to me five years ago. I allowed sarcasm and bluntness to be my go-to languages, telling it how it is and not caring what people thought. I knew that, in the end, I was all I had. I couldn't allow myself to lean on someone who wouldn't be there with me for the long haul. And if people enjoyed being around me and my sarcasm, then fine. But I wouldn't change myself.

"Can I ask you a question and you tell me the truth," I asked, sneaking a look at him.

Both of his eyes opened. "Yes."

"Can I trust you?"

His mouth opened, as if to respond, then shut again. He took a few moments to reply, searching my face to see where the question came from. He must have seen the desperation in my eyes, even though the rest of my face was as stoic as I could make it.

I wanted so desperately to trust someone. I wanted to be able to put my faith in someone who would be there for me, even when things got rough. Even when I curled into myself. Even when I couldn't hold my emotions in any longer and lashed out. It hadn't happened in so long, but I needed to have someone who wouldn't run.

He entwined his fingers through mine. "Of course you can, Eva. I have never lied to you."

"I'm not asking if you have lied to me." I sighed. "I know you haven't lied to me."

"And you can lean on me whenever you need someone to lean on." His fingers tightened around mine. "I'm not going to turn on you."

I wanted to believe him. And I guess a part of me did - the naïve part of me that wanted to trust anyone who said a few kind words to me. Then there was that tickling at the back of my brain telling me not to even try. Telling me that everyone would say that at first.

But instead of telling him my doubts, I smiled gratefully at him. It would take some time, I knew that. But if I could trust him, the amount of time it took for me to believe him shouldn't matter. In the end, I would have Sophia and Enzo both on my side.

A sudden rush of loneliness overcame me. I hadn't felt lonely in quite some time. But knowing how long it had been without having someone there for me, and the hope that I had two people now, was almost overwhelming. I was used to being alone. It was how I was. As a journalist, I never had to get too close to people and I spent a lot of my time in the office or at home doing my writing.

Resting my head on his shoulder, I allowed myself the comfort he gave me. "Thank you."

"You have nothing to thank me for."

I shrugged one shoulder before getting up out of bed. I may have cleaned some of the house, but I had other parts to do as well. I couldn't just allow Sophia to do it all. Ever since coming to Enzo's house, I had been slacking quite a bit. I needed to make it up, no matter how much I hated doing it.

So I went, grabbing cleaning supplies and starting at the end of the long hallway, making everything as clean as possible while waiting for dinner to be ready.