Starship Armstrong - Season 2

Part 26 - The Outlandish Adventures of Marceaux and Guildenstern (II)

The scout ship ripped free of its time/space tunnel and into orbit of Abzu. It was a sleek, elongated triangle with visibly over-sized engines and two rows of ion cannons on either side.

The makeshift bridge crew watched in horror on the main screen.

"By all the stars!" exclaimed Guildenstern, just as Ensign Lin gasped.

"There are enough ion cannons on that thing to breach our shields. It also doesn't match the design parameters of any known faction in the Reunification Wars," said Marceaux, frantically working his console "Nor old Galactic Empire designs. This thing is new. Someone out here built it from scratch."

"This is bad," said Anhkbayar.

"They're hailing us," said Marceaux.

Ensign Anhkbayar straightened her uniform a bit, tucking in her shirt.

"Put, uh, put it on the main screen," she said.

A man in a sleek leather military uniform trimmed in red appeared on the screen. He smiled a predatory smile.

"This is the Honorable Captain Teleklos of the Righteous Finger Of God Who Illuminates The Way and servant of the Emperor of Three Suns. Identify yourself," he said, his Martian clear but thickly accented.

"This is the Foundation Starship Armstrong," said Ensign Ahnkbayar, hoping to avoid revealing her rank for as long as possible "We come in peace."

"Foundation?" said Captain Teleklos "As in the 'Huxley Foundation'?"

"Yes, actually," said Anhkbayar.

"So you are real," said Teleklos "The last world the Emperor added to our Glorious and Eternal Empire claimed to be under the protection of a Huxley Foundation. It didn't prove to be much protection at all."

"Is that so?" said Anhkbayar "Hm, yes, give me a minute to verify some of this."

She made a 'cut' motion on her neck with her throat. Marceaux read her intent and cut communications.

"Oh my stars!" exclaimed Ensign Anhkbayar "Why would he tell us that? Page the Captain on every frequency."

"They would detect that," said Marceaux.

"If they know we have crew on the moon they could use it as leverage against us," said Guildenstern "All it would take would be a single orbital bombardment to kill everyone we have down there."

"Then can we raise shields please?" Anhkbayar asked.

"They'll detect that too," said Marceaux.

"They would probably see it as a hostile gesture," added Lin.

"What are we going to do then?" Ensign Anhkbayar, jumping up.

She looked around. Nobody wanted to meet her eyes.

"Every option endangers either us or the rest of the crew," she said.

A minute passed. Nobody spoke. Ensign Anhkbayar knew she couldn't wait forever.

"Hail them," she said, finally "I'm going to have to try to talk them down."

Within a few moments the image of Captain Teleklos returned to the main screen. He now wore a predatory smile.

"So what do your records say about the might of our empire? If you will swear your fealty to the Emperor now I might be able to let you keep your ship."

"What?" said Ensign Anhkbayar "I have no idea what any of that means. But we didn't have any record of your people, let alone a state of war, so as far as I'm concerned you're all potential customers. This is a Foundation trading post. Can I interest your Glorious and Eternal Empire in some weapons?"

"Weapons you say?" asked Teleklos.

"We have two 64-unit fleets of autonomous weapon drones with ion-hardened shielding, twelve planetary mass drivers rated 87 of light, self-guided interstellar weather bombs, and long-range meme cannons. And that's just the big stuff. Our whole fleet got weapons upgrades this years so we're trading the obsolete hardware to, you know, whoever. Whoever needs our hand-me-down weapons and can pay. According to our scans of your ship you could probably get some use out of some of this old stuff."

Teleklos' smile melted away as Anhkbayar spoke.

"We are not authorized to make purchases of this kind," he said "But we will report this back to our superiors. We must go now."

The feed cut and the scout ship began to turn around to leave.

Anhkbayar collapsed into the command throne, exhausted. Sweat was dripping down her brow.

"I can't believe that worked," she said.

"You just told him so many lies," said Guildenstern "He's going to report all that back to whoever built that ship of his."

"I know," said Anhkbayar.

"The Captain is going to kill you," said Marceaux "That probably really messed up relations between the Foundation and that Empire."

"I know!" said Anhkbayar "You don't need to tell me! We're alive though aren't we?"

"I just know I'm glad I'm not the one accountable for any of that," said Guildenstern.

The Outlandish Adventures of Marceaux of Guildenstern: End