Don't You? (Drarry)

Chapter 27

Harry and Draco settled into the house rather quickly. Though Harry had noticed Draco spending way too much time in his study. Harry had a feeling he knew why, but wasn't absolutely sure. Until tonight, he "fell asleep" and waited a few hours or so before walking to the study. He watched Draco reading from the book and then write something on his parchment. If Harry got a little closer he would know exactly what the blonde was doing. He must have gotten lost in his thoughts, and only realized when he heard Draco exclaim. "Oh for fuck's sake!" As he pushed the book off his desk. Harry sadly was right, Draco was trying to find a cure. Vigorously trying at that. The Gryffindor approached him setting his hands down on his shoulders. "Draco, love?" Draco hummed a response looking back at him. He sighed softly spinning the chair around pulling Harry into his lap. "Sorry I was just..." Harry looked at him kissing his cheek. If the raven was being honest he didn't know how the hell to comfort Draco with this. He wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck gently. Looking at the many parchments and books on the desk, he smiled sadly. "I know, but Draco I don't know if there is a cure and you're not sleeping. I'm worried about you." The blonde scoffed lightly rolling his eyes. As if he was the one they should be worried about. Harry pushed the blonde locks back gently. "Dray." They only used first names and nicknames in arguments or when it was a serious conversation. It's what really got the other's attention. Right now Draco hated knowing that, but still gave the Gryffindor his undivided attention. "I don't want this to be it either. I'm scared too you know, absolutely terrified. You don't think I've already looked through all the books? The point is, I don't want you to put yourself on overdrive. I just want you okay?" Draco knew he wouldn't stop searching, but lying about it wouldn't hurt anything. So without saying anything for a moment he nodded slowly. He pulled the Gryffindor closer kissing him softly. He grabbed one of the raven's hands looking up at him. "So tell me, what are some of the other things you want to do before... you know?" Harry had kept it mostly to himself about how he wanted to spend his final months. "Alright fine I'll give you two numbers. Number 13 is making amends with my cousin Dudley. I know that one seems stupid, but I don't know maybe he's changed. Number 19 is visiting Godric's Hollow before I know I won't be able to again."

Harry and Draco eventually did go back to bed, this time Draco didn't leave. Neither of them slept either though. They just laid there in each other's arms listening to the others breathing. It was comforting for them more so for Draco than the Gryffindor. Persephone laid at their feet, and Nyx was probably on the couch curled up. The two would kiss every so often. This night was different than the many others they had spent together, both of them realized how real it was that Harry was dying. How Harry was dying and how they couldn't figure out how to keep it from happening. After what felt like forever Draco spoke softly. "I want to get married." Harry looked up at him going to say something before Draco cut him off. "No, no protests. No reasons why we shouldn't. I don't know how long I have with you, and I don't know how to find a way to be fine with that. I want a day regardless of everything where we promise this is forever and it's permanent in front of everyone we care about. You can even invite Cho Chang for all I care. I know it doesn't make sense, I just if you have some certain amount of time I want to know that if you didn't it would still be me. So don't give me reasons, or concerns, or anything else you could think of. Just tell me what you want regardless of everything else." Harry smiled softly at him. "Can this count as my answer?" Draco's face showed confusion until Harry kissed him passionately. The blonde wrapped his hands in the raven hair kissing back deeply. "Is that a yes?" The Slytherin said slightly breathless as he pulled away. Harry laughed softly. "Do you need me to spell it out for you Malfoy?" Draco smiled amused nodding his head. Harry glanced around then looked back at him. He set his hand gently on Draco's pale cheek with a small smile. "It would always be you. Whether I have an expiration date or not, I've always been sure that I disliked you more than I would ever dislike anyone else. I would marry you right here if that's what you wanted. You can go as big or as small as you want with it, as long as you're there I don't care. Invite everyone you've ever known or just your parents, Pansy, and Blaise. I'll even let you use whatever you can find on my hair. The only part I truly care about is you saying I do. I want to be with you, Draco Lucius Malfoy for the rest of my life." The Slytherin stared at him shocked for a few seconds. He could feel the tears forming in his eyes. Draco tried and failed to not cry. "For Merlin's sake Potter all you had to bloody do was say yes!" Harry wiped his tears gently with a lighthearted laugh.

Draco was in love, he knew that much. Now would be as good as time as any to say it. He opened his mouth and it's almost as if Harry had read his mind. The raven shook his head slowly, to say the Slytherin was confused would be the understatement of the century. "When I die." Draco immeadiately hated the sentence. He hated that the Gryffindor could say when with such certainty, especially when he knew Harry wasn't speaking about it as in even 15 years from now. "I want you to move on. I want you to be happy. I mean you can take some time to grieve, but we're so young Draco. Don't spend the rest of your life stuck on me. I want to say those words more than anything, but I'm dying. I need you to be able to let go, it's more selfish than I'm willing to be. Give you everything just for it to be ripped away. It's cruel, and I don't want to be. Not with you, not like this. Find some other guy, it won't be that hard. Get married again, maybe adopt a child instead of a puppy. I know you Draco, if we say that it makes it so much more real and so much harder for you. You don't trust easy or do well with feelings and those words change everything." Draco stared at him shaking his head vigorously. Moving on was the last thing Draco cared about. He almost ached for Harry to be the kind of selfish the blonde knew he couldn't be. "I'm not going to promise I'll move on. If I was planning on moving on I wouldn't have asked you to marry me. Be selfish with me, say it anyway. Give me everything so it can be taken away I don't car-" Harry interrupted him quickly. "You do care Draco that's the point. Whenever you lose something you always find a way to get it back. How are you supposed to get someone back who's dead? We weren't supposed to get this attached in the first place. We weren't supposed to kiss, or date, or live together, but here we are and you're already saying you won't move on. You have to Draco. You don't get to stop living when I die. You don't get to lock yourself up in the house. You can't drink everytime you miss me. Damnit Draco you can't become a ghost of who you are now like your mother did."

Draco stood up quickly going to their walk in closet changing silently. Okay so he was being a little overdramatic, but Harry knew him so well anyway he may as well leave. It's not like he was going to a club or going to cheat or anything. He was just going to Blaise's as per usual. He walked back into the bedroom glancing at Harry. "Yeah I know you'll be at Blaise's." Though as the blonde went to apparate he realized that he wasn't really sure that he wanted to leave. He sighed heavily and sat on the bed. He spoke without looking at the Gryffindor. "You're right, as much as I hate saying it you are. I would get more attached than I already am. Isn't that the point? I can find a guy anywhere, but I can't find another you. I've tried, Merlin have I tried. I looked for you in everyone before I even realized I was still doing it. All these years later and you're still it. How am I supposed to want someone else when I haven't before? I don't see the bad in it that you do, so let it be my choice Harry." The raven nodded slowly crawling to him. He was worried about Draco, but realized he would feel the exact same way if it were reversed. So he kissed the blonde softly and whispered as he pulled away. "Just not yet okay?" "Okay."