Glee One-Shots

Secret

Summary: Santana reflects on giving away her baby

She found out she was pregnant two months after Quinn found out. She only told her parents. The fewer people that knew the less risk it had of getting out.
She refused to leave the Cheerios. If she left, people would ask questions. She did everything to keep herself from gaining weight, but her efforts were useless. She gained twenty pounds in total.
"Lopez, you weigh a fucking ton. I'm benching you for the rest of the season."
She knew that Sue knew about it somehow. She was thankful that she didn't make a big fuss about it. She actually kept an eye out for her.
"I would have kept Q on had there not been such a big scandal." Sue looked out the window.
"You keeping the kid?"
"No."
She wasn't keeping the baby, but she wanted it to be in good health. She wanted so many things for her baby. She wanted it to be happy and loved. She wanted it to be smart and excel in school. Most importantly, she wanted it to be raised by a happy family and have many opportunities in life. Opportunities that it wouldn't have being raised by a teen mom.
She gave birth in a city two hours away in July. It was a girl. She held her for a while and then it was taken away never to be seen again.
She thought about her all the time during her Junior year. How she looked like. Was she okay? Was she happy?
There were moments where she wished she had kept her. Moments where she wanted to act out like Quinn. She wanted for people to see that she was struggling just as much as Quinn. That she missed her baby just as much as Quinn did. That she regretted her decision just as much as Quinn did.
She wanted to tell Quinn. She wanted to let her know that she wasn't alone and that she understood her anguish. The words were at the tip of her tongue, but she could never say anything. She'd simply swallow them back down and pretend everything was alright. Eventually, she'd forget and she couldn't wait for that day to come.

Hey guys! Sorry I ghosted y'all. I started college!! I've been adjusting and getting use to everything. I'm also dealing with some personal stuff. It's just been a lot.
As always, I can't promise regular updates. I'll try to write as often as possible.
Hope y'all are well and sending much love to those who are still reading and following.
~LintheskywithDiamonds 💎🌟💫