My Hero Academia X Heathers

Beautiful

September 1st, 2018
Dear Diary:
I believe I'm a good person. You know, I think that there's good in everyone, but—here we are! First day of freshman year!
And uh... I look around at these kids that I've known all my life and I ask myself—what happened?

[KIDS:]
Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bug-eyes! Poser! Hard-ass!

[JIRO:]
We were so tiny, happy and shiny
Playing tag and getting chased

[KIDS:]
Freak! Slut! Loser! Shortbus!

[JIRO:]
Singing and clapping, laughing and napping
Baking cookies, eating paste

[KIDS:]
Bull-dyke! Stuck-up! Hunchback!

[JIRO:]
Then we got bigger, that was the trigger
Like the Villains invading USJ

Oh, Sorry!

Welcome to my school, this ain't no high school:
This is the Thunderdome

Hold your breath and count the days, we're graduating soon

[KIDS:]
Pink trash!

[JIRO:]
College will be paradise, if I'm not dead in 3 Junes!

But I know, I know, life can be beautiful
I pray, I pray for a better way
If we changed back then, we could change again
We can be beautiful...

[JIRO:]
Just not today

Hey, are you okay?

[KIRISHIMA:]
Get away, nerd!

[JIRO:]
Oh, okay

[KIDS:]
Freak! Slut! Cripple! Homo! Homo! Homo!

[JIRO:]
Things will get better soon as my letter
Comes from Shinjestsu, Shenj, or Nabu
Wake from this coma, take my diploma
Then I can blow this town
Dream of ivy-covered walls and smoky French cafés

[YUGA:]
Watch it!

[JIRO:]
Fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze!

[YUGA:]
Ooooops

[JIRO:]
Yuga Aoyama. First year as linebacker and eighth year of smacking lunch trays and being a huge dick

[YUGA:]
What did you say to me, emo?

[JIRO:]
Aah, nothing!

[JIRO:] But I know, I know... [KIDS:] I know, I know...
[JIRO:] Life can be beautiful [KIDS:] Beautiful
[JIRO:] I pray, I pray [KIDS:] I pray, I pray
[JIRO:] For a better way [KIDS:] For a better way
[JIRO:] We were kind before; [KIDS:] Oooh...
[JIRO:] We can be kind once more [KIDS:] Oooh...
[JIRO:] We can be beautiful... [KIDS:] Oooh... Beautiful...

[JIRO:]
Agh!... Hey Uraraka

[Uraraka:]
Hey

[JIRO:]
Uraraka Ochako.My best friend since diapers

[Uraraka:]
We on for movie night?

[JIRO:]
Yeah, you're on Jiffy Pop detail

[Uraraka:]
I rented "The Princess Bride."

[JIRO:]
Ho-ho-ho, again? Wait, don't you have it memorized by now?

[Uraraka:]
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending

[MINETA:]
Uraraka Dumptruck! Wide load! Honnnnnk!
Hahaaa!

[JIRO:]
Mineta Minoru. Quarterback. He is the smartest guy on the football team. Which is kind of like being the tallest dwarf.

[MINETA:]
Haha! Alriiight!

[JIRO:]
Hey! Pick that up! Right now!

[MINETA:]
I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?

[JIRO:]
Yes, I am. I wanna know what gives you the right to pick on my friend. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen. A future gas station attendant

[MINETA:]
...You have a zit right there

[JIRO:]
Dear diary:

Why...

[KIRISHIMA:]
Why do they hate me?

[MOMO:]
Why don't I fight back?

[MINETA:]
Why do I act like such a creep?

[JIRO:]
Why...

[Uraraka:]
Why won't he date me?

[YUGA:]
Why did I hit him?

[FROPPY, MT. LADY & KOJI:]
Why do I cry myself to sleep?

[JIRO:]
Why...

[KIDS:]
Somebody hug me!
Somebody fix me!
Somebody save me!

[KIDS & JIRO:]
Send me a sign, God!
Give me some hope, here!
Something to live for!

[KIDS:]
Ahh! Bakugo, Shoto, and Monoma!

[JIRO:]
And then there's the Katsukis. They float above it all

[KIDS:]
I love Bakugo, Shoto and Monoma

[JIRO:]
Shoto Todoroki. Head baseball player. His dad is loaded—he sells engagement rings
[KIDS:]
I hate Bakugo, Shoto and Monoma
[JIRO:]
Monoma Neito, runs the yearbook. No discernible personality, but his mom did pay for implants
[KIDS:]
I want Bakugo, Shoto and Monoma
[JIRO:]
And Bakugo Katsuki, the Almighty
He is a mythic b-tch
[KIDS:]
I need Bakugo, Monoma...
[JIRO:]
They're solid Teflon—never bothered, never harassed
I would give anything to be like that

[KIDS:]
Mmmm...

[KIRISHIMA:]
I'd like to be Bakugo's boyfriend

[KIDS:]
That would be beautiful...
Mmmm...

[FROPPY:]
If I sat at their table, guys would notice me

[KIDS:]
So beautiful...
Ooooh...

[Uraraka:]
I'd like them to be nicer

[KIDS:]
That would be beautiful...
Ooooh...

[HAGEKURE:]
I'd like to kidnap a Katsuki and photograph his naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats

[BAKUGO:]
Grow up, Monoma. Bulimia is so '87.

[SHOTO:]
Maybe you should see a doctor, Monoma

[MONOMA:]
Yeah, Shoto. Maybe I should.

[MT. LADY:]
Ah, Bakugo and Shoto...and Monoma.

Perhaps you didn't hear the bell over all the vomiting. You're late for class[

Bakugo:]Monoma wasn't feeling well. We're helping him

[MT. LADY:]Not without a hall pass, you're not. Week's detention[

JIRO:]Um, actually, Ms. Lady, all four of us are out on a hall pass. Yearbook committee

[MS. LADY:]...I see you're all listed. Hurry up and get where you're going

[Bakugo:]This is an excellent forgery. Who are you?

[JIRO:]Uh... Jiro Kyoka. I crave a boon

[Bakugo:]What boon?

[JIRO:]Um. Let me sit at your table, at lunch. Just once. No talking necessary. If people think that you guys tolerate me, then they'll leave me alone...Before you answer, I also do report cards, permission slips, and absence notes

[MONOMA:]How about prescriptions?

[Bakugo:]Shut up, Monoma

[MONOMA:]Sorry, Bakugo

[Bakugo:]For a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure

[SHOTO:]
And a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important

[MONOMA:]
Of course, you could stand to lose a few pounds

[Bakugo:]
And ya know, ya know, ya know?
This could be beautiful
Mascara, maybe some lip gloss
And we're on our way
Get this girl some blush;
And Monoma, I need your brush
Let's make her beautiful

[SHOTO:]
Let's make her beautiful...

[MONOMA:]
Let's make her beautiful...

[Bakugo:]
Make her beautiful...

Okay?

[JIRO:]
Okay!

[MINETA:]
Out of my way, geek!

[TETSUTETSU:]
I don't want trouble..

[YUGA:]
You're gonna die at 3pm!

[MOMO & MINA:]
Don't you dare touch me! Get away, pervert!

[TETSUTETSU:]
What did I ever do to them?

[KIDS:]
Who could survive this?
I can't escape this!
I think I'm dying!

[MS. LADY:]
Who's that with the Katsukis?

[KIDS:]
Whoa

Bakugo, Monoma, Shoto...

[MINA:]
And someone!

[KIDS:]
Bakugo, Monoma, Shoto...

[AIZAWA & MIC:]
And a babe!

[KIDS:]
Bakugo, Monoma, Shoto...

[Uraraka:]
Jiro!?

[KIDS:]
Jiro? Jiro? Jiro!?

[JIRO:]
And you know, you know, you know
Life can be beautiful ([KIDS:] Aaahhh! Beautiful!)
You hope, you dream, you pray
And you get your way!
Ask me how it feels ([KIDS:] Beautiful!)
Lookin' like hell on wheels...
My God, it's beautiful! ([KIDS:] Aaahhh! Beautiful!)
I might be beautiful... ([KIDS:] Beautiful!)
And when you're beautiful...
[JIRO:]
It's a beautiful frickin' day!

[KIDS:]
Katsukis!Katsukis!Katsukis!Jiro!
Katsukis!Katsukis!Katsukis!Jiro!
Jiro! Jiro! Jiro!
Jiro!