Reviving December

Who I Am With You

Cade

Lights glittered in the window, a tree tucked in the corner littered with ornaments passed down through generations — hand crafted little trinkets that's spoke of love and thought. Pictures of passed loved ones adorning some branches, nestled into the plush needles. From the outside the warmth of Christmas spirit bled thorough, taking the chill from the bitterness of the winter cold. Arms filled with wrapped presents I started toward the house, a smile on my face when the tinkle of laughter reached my ears. Oh, that sound. December had been preparing the house for days, getting ready for her family's ascent into our abode, decorating, cleaning, cooking. For the first time in years my happiness for the holidays wasn't forced, because I came home to a woman I loved deeply singing off key Christmas carols and dancing with the ever growing Hoss, sneaking the lazy pup small morsels of food when she thought no one was looking. This year, my house felt like a home and it was all because of her. My boot kicked at the base of the door lightly, hands too full to knock. Her smiling face greeted me not a minute later.

"You're home!"

Those words meant more to me than she would know, and I smiled wider when she rushed to help me unload my arms. It took a few moments for the presents to be placed under the tree, as she wanted them in a particular spot. The scent of something cooking filled the house, causing my stomach to grumble with delight. I didn't move from my spot, I was content to watch her for the moment. When she was finished she stood, a soft smile on her lush lips and she turned to me — and my chest tightened. Something seemed slightly off as I looked at her, but it didn't seem like a bad thing. She was gazing at me with a heat I hadn't seen before. My gut did flips but I refused to allow her to see the questions in my gaze. I didn't move as she approached me. Simply stood there watching, waiting. Wanting to know what was in her mind desperately.

It wasn't long before I knew.

Instead of wrapping herself around me and greeting me with the hug I was so accustomed to, her small hands touched my flannel covered chest hesitantly and she leaned against me wholly — forcing me to brace to take her slight weight. My heart raced as I stood still, waiting to see what she was up to.

Her scent invaded my senses, the light sugary smell making me giddy.

"Cade," my name on her lips sent a shiver down my body, blood rushing through my body pleasurably. I waited with a hated breath.

Painstakingly slow, she leaned more into me, her small frame lengthening along mine as she stood on her tiptoes — her mouth hovered inches from mine for a few seconds and I could taste the spearmint on her breath. My heart jackhammered against my chest, my breathe quickening in my lungs.

"I love you," she whispered, her words barely audible over the rush of my pulse, eyes shining with emotion and unshed tears.

I wanted to respond in kind, tell her I loved her too — however the warmth of her lips on mine stole the words. Hesitant, but hot against my own, her lips danced — until I took charge. I allowed her to keep her balance against my body, but my lips commanded hers, took the small gasp of pleasure and ran with it. I had waited forever for her to make the first move. Slowly my hands traveled up her arms as my tongue swiped against the seam of her soft lips, demanding entrance. Finally my hands found home, nestling in her hair as I slanted my mouth more fully over hers. I said with my body what I hadn't said with my words.

She was mine, as I was hers. My adoration, my love, my desire. It was all there. And she began to take, as soft whimpers fell from her throat. We kissed for uncounted minutes, savoring one another — only braking apart for air.

And the look in her gaze when she met my eyes stole my breathe all over again because I knew, by tomorrow, all of my dreams would come true.

December

I had waited long enough, and I was tired of hiding behind my fears. I was Cade's. He was mine. And life, however precious, was short. Watching my sisters with their husbands, their children had shown me more than I could've ever realized on my own. Holding sweet Caroline on Thanksgiving had been one thing, but then seeing the longing and want in Cade's eyes when he thought no one was looking? That had sent me over the edge. So, I had talked to Dr. Taylors, and the she-devil has been more than helpful. It had been fairly simple.

Did I love Cade? With everything I had.

Did I see a future? Absolutely, because without Cade there wasn't a future I wanted.

Did I want children? Almost as much as my next breath.

Most importantly, was I ready to tell him the truth so that I could finally be with him? That was the tough one, but I was definitely ready for more. Because Cade deserved the truth, and I had finally accepted that I deserved Cade.

So, even though I desperately didn't want to ruin the cheerful atmosphere surrounding Christmas, I couldn't wait any longer. I wanted a future, and I wanted it with Cade.

The kiss... had been more than I ever imagine — sure we had kissed plenty in our youth, Cade had been all of my firsts, this had been different. He was commanding as man where he hasn't been as a boy, he took and gave with his mouth and the thought of the desire in his touch left a blush staining my cheeks.

Cade simply stared at me now, questions dancing in his eyes as we stood barely a breath apart.

It was time to tell him everything.

And, so I did. Once we settled comfortably on the couch, not quite touching, I spoke — haltingly — and told him the truth. All of it. And through it all I never took my eyes from him. His rage was palpable in the air, and had he been any other man I would've been fearful, but this was Cade — the heart of my heart. We sat silently when I had finished, tears streaming down my face, dancing in my eye lashes — saltiness filling my mouth as I took a breath in. I was scared of his reaction, fearful that he would blame me just I had blamed myself before. However, I was stupid to even consider it.

Because it was only minutes before I was pulled into his embrace and listening to him assure me, with a stern promise that he would always take care of me, protect me. And this is what I needed. My eyes closed, arms wrapping around him as I felt my heart start to beat steadily again. Borrowing his strength and basking in his presence. Finally, he spoke as he pulled away, face merely centimeters from my own. Desire written across his face despite the topic that had been discussed.

"You will never hurt that way again, December. I swear it." And I didn't have to question if he loved me too, because once his lips met mine I just knew — he had never stopped.