Reviving December

I Know She Aint Ready

This is it, y'all! Final chapter of Reviving December. Thank you guys for your love and support through her journey!
I'll be posting Keeping August shortly.

December

"Caroline, put that down sweetheart!" October scolded her 13 month old daughter softly, praying the glittery Santa ornament out of her chubby hands. A tired look crossed her face, but it was filled with so much love that my stomach did flip. It was Christmas time again, and it seemed that all of Red Mire was filling mine and Cade's home to celebrate. Mrs. Raines and my mother were nestled into the corner of a couch cooing over photo albums while Dad was off in a separate room watching the game with they rest of the men. Neighbors milled in and out, bringing happy smiles and platters of food with them. Little goggles and soft playful barks echoed through the house and I knew that Hoss was in heaven with all of the attention he received from the small humans teetering around the house. Joy spread through every corner of our home and I couldn't be any happier. I was in my own world as I zipped around the kitchen, impatiently waiting for the honey ham to finish up in the oven — everyone was waiting for the main course to begin to eat. My own stomach grumbled at the simple though of food.

"So," Tennessee's voice broke through the thoughts of pilfering one of cousin Blakely's yeast rolls, startling me slightly. "You gonna tell me what's up your sleeve there, Dece?" My eyebrows shot to my hairline at her conspiring tone, wondering what she was on about. I didn't have anything I was hiding?

"Oh, don't give me that look. You've been quite all day, and you turned your nose up at the simple mention of peanut butter fudge." My stomach did flips at the simple mention of the sweet, which was normally my kryptonite. I shrugged wordlessly at my sister and smiled, trying to hide the sadness that hit me at her implication. She suspected what I had hoped for, but we had both been wrong.

In the year of bliss with Cade, we had simply thrown caution to the wind and not taken precautions against children— however it proved useless. Each month Aunt Flow still visited and my hopes that I could give him a child were dashed. This moth had been much the same.

"It's not what you think, Ess." I promised, not taking my eyes off of the timer on the marble counter.

"No?" Her tone was skeptical. "How positive are you, little sister?"

"I'm sure, Ess." This time I met her gaze, tears building in my eyes. I hadn't wanted to discuss this, not with Cade, not with anyone, but Tennessee didn't have many boundaries and no wasn't a word she was accustomed to any longer — no, Stetson spoiled the hell out of all of his women.

Her warm hand suddenly settled over mine and a small, knowing smile stole her lips.

"Let's just make sure."

*

Tears clogged my throat as I watched the last of my family trail out the door that night, bags of food and gifts in their hands. Today had been a wonderful day, filled with love and laughter and blessings. Caroline had stolen the show with her baby talk and efforts to walk more than a few steps on her own, Sunday was the proud owner of a brand new bicycle she offered to let Dallas teach her to ride, and Iris had made everyone a "friendship" bracelet with her new gift. All in all it had been a day to remember, one that would fill chatter for weeks to come.

Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a strong embrace.

"We still have a few gifts to open, my love." He reminded me, laying a warm kiss on my shoulder, one that sent shivers down my spine. I had forgotten about the gifts, simply taken with the little ones enjoying what Santa had brought them. I smiled and allowed myself to be pulled back to our living room, settling nicely into his lap once he sat on the floor.

Small boxes were opened, and I was grateful for my mother in-law's keen eye for fashion at the new coat and matching booties — my mother had bought a lovely bracelet with matching earrings. My brother in laws had pitched in to get me a gift card to a boutique I adored in Dallas, no doubt by the urging of my sisters who had received the same for a girls day right around the corner. Finally, a long flat box was settled in my lap — my brow furrowed.

Ivory lace and chiffon, hand stitched beading — I knew exactly what it was.

"How did you get my mother's dress?" The words barely escaped my lips I was so shaken.

"Your dad helped me."

I was silent as I studied the cloth, hands sweeping the gorgeous fabric lovingly. I had seen the pictures a million times, but it never did any justice to the gown. It was the only dress I had ever imagined myself getting married in, and with each month that had passed since our engagement, my hopes of finding something that would make due for our big day had died. Until tonight. My eyes were now full with tears, ones that were streaming down my cheeks and soaking into the plush fabric of my sweater.

"I love you so much," I said hoarsely, tongue heavy in my mouth. He had found it for me somehow, and it was all I could ever want — more than I deserved.

"I love you, baby. Merry Christmas." His arms squeezed around me again, letting me know he was here.

Suddenly, my gift to him seemed less than appealing and I didn't bother to grab the box from under the tree. I moved the box to the floor and turned, straddling his lap with my arms around his neck. Heart in my throat, I spoke;

"We can't get married in July."

His face went from gleeful to hurt in seconds flat and I knew I should have worded it better. My chest ached briefly, but I knew he'd understand.

"Why?"

Instead of speaking I simply stared down at him for a single second before grabbing his large hand and placing his palm against my still flat abdomen.

"Because I won't be able to fit the dress then, love."

And as it dawned on him, he pulled me even more fiercely against him and kissed me with a depth that stole the air from my lungs.

Tennessee had been right today, even when I had been so certain she was wrong. While the boys had been watching their game, we had snuck off and taken a test — and two more when the first had read positive. I was indeed having a baby.

Cade didn't speak, simply held me to him — and suddenly it struck me as ironic how life worked. I had come a full 180 in the past two years, from the broken shell of a woman to one who prospered in life. I had faith, family, and love — I was truly, deeply blessed.

Looking down at Cade, I knew that without his persistence I wouldn't be the woman I was today. He had brought me back to life, helped me heal in ways I had never imagined. He had revived me. And I would be forever his. As he was mine.