My ice cream melted.
Oh, that and my brother was dead.
But no fear! I performed hypothesees on him, and boom, he unfroze.
"Thank you so much!" He exclaimed with a smile. But then his smile quickly turned into a sneer. "Now I can freeze you all!!"
My brother sucks.
Anyway, my mama dinosaur protected me and tried to fight the tiny mothertrucker off. Then, something happened.
My brother turned into a huge, black blobish monster and my mother turned into a freakishly hot knight in shining armor.
The dude who was once my mother had a sword.
No, not that kind of sword. You pervert.
He was fighting off the brotherblobmonsterthing and in fear, I hid behind him, protecting myself.
Oh, by the way, I can fly now.
*shrug*
I don't know what happened next. Maybe the hot dude died (necrophilia is legal, right?). Maybe the scary blob thing died. Maybe they became friends. Maybe more than friends.
I don't know.
I woke up and thought, "What the literal fuck just happened?"
Then, I checked all the buckets in my house to make sure there's no creepy doll children in there. I fed all my dolls to the wolves. I burned all my fishing supplies. I threw anything dinosaur-related out my window. I yelled at my dad for letting someone kidnap me and better yet put me in a damn bucket.
I'm just kidding; I did none of those things. I'm too lazy. I probably just went back to sleep.
That's it. Happy nightmares! ♡
YOU ARE READING
A Dinosaur Stole My Bucket of Children
HumorI don't know how it happened. One moment I was fishing for a whale and then the next a dinosaur appeared and stole my bucket of children. Man, I hate dinosaurs.
