Transformers: Electric Boogaloo

Electric Boogaloo

Night.

He’s awakened by the sound of some tetrajets buzzing the district overhead. Hot-shot fighter jocks who should know better.

Clump clump clump clump.

Kitchen. Refrigerator.

*creak*

The light comes on, he takes out a can of 40 weight, heads back to the recharger, stopping to shut the refrigerator on his way, and finding peace in the way the light blinked out just before he closed the door.

And so it goes.

---

Across town, two very stupid robots are playing a dangerous game. Let’s call the first one ‘Bob’. Let’s call the second one ‘Starscream.’

Now, I’m not saying the second one IS Starscream, nor that Starscream is stupid, just that the second bot is acting in very much the manner that you’d expect Starscream to act.

...

Okay, maybe I AM calling Starscream stupid.

---

*bzzrt*

Morning. Brown out. Must be something wrong with the power relays.

Soundwave levered himself out of the recharging station with a heavy sigh. He couldn’t go on-line because he was fully rested could he? No, it always had to be something awakening him.

Clump clump clump clump.

Kitchen. Refrigerator.

*creak*

The light came on, he contemplated the dismal contents of the frige. He needed to go shopping.

The lights flickered again. There’s a sudden *pop* and the light in the refrigerator goes out.

Impossible, he has not closed the door yet. He must be mistaken. He eyed the lightbulb disapprovingly, willing it to light again. It stared back at it, its dangling filament mocking him... uh.... mockingly. ‘Not this time’ it seemed to say. ‘Not gonna light up for you.’ ‘Get a haircut.’

Smart-ass bulb, he should have replaced it last year, there was a sale... Soundwave let his mind drift back to simpler times. Times of shopping and sales and lightbulbs that didn’t talk back and lit up obediently when they ought to...

He considered closing the refrigerator. Then the light would be out, and the refrigerator would be closed, and all would be right with the world. Of course, if he did that, next time he opened the refrigerator the light would not go on, and that would be bad. He could always leave the refrigerator closed. But then he’d need someplace to store his perishables. Maybe Frenzy’s room. He could move all of the tape’s stuff out into the hall before he got back and later claim he didn’t know how they’d gotten there.

A light film of condensation was beginning to form on his knees from the open refrigerator. He stared at it menacingly. No result. He reached out and tapped the bulb hopefully. Damn. No, it was good and out....

The windows rattled as some tetrajets buzzed the district overhead.

The mecho-cabbage was begining to wilt. He frowned. No, he would not close the door. That would be a concession, and Decepticons did NOT give ground, not even to the inanimate. That was one of the POINT of the whole movement!