Princess Peach Spills The Tea

The Arrival

The boat ride over to Peach's Castle was interesting to say the least. The princess brought me over a boat, so the crew was nothing but Toads. I don't think I'll ever forget the sound of their gravelly grating voices singing "Hi ho and a bottle of rum." I never thought Hell could be so close.

That being said the trip took no more than a night to finish. By the next day I was standing in front of her castle with no one but my assistant and Link by my side. I could tell the the doors were supposed to be grand and tall but, seeing as I am close to 6'2 I could touch the top with my outstretched arm. My assistant pulled a long rope that hung beside the doors. A loud echoing bell chimed as another Toad answered the door.

"AH PRINCESS ZELDA I PRESUME?"

I tried to hide the fact that I shivered every time the thing spoke and answered, "Yes, I'm here for a tea party?" 

"RIGHT THIS WAY YOU'RE MAJESTY!!" it announced as it marched into the castle. I looked at my entourage and they looked back with the same facial expression. "If that thing talks one more time we'll have Link rip it's vocal cords out."

I followed it down halls and through rooms. Peach's castle was beautiful and a lot bigger on the inside. Literally, I'm pretty sure she used some kind of magic. The rooms were tall and held up with marble columns. The furniture were all either floral fabric or pink leather, with beautiful mahogany to make it's structure. The floors were black and white tile that almost glowed when the light hit it. The windows that lined every room were tall and gothic. Every so often there would be a stained glass window with a star or mushroom. One particular window above the door showed a blonde woman holding a rose to her lips. 

"Humble," Link muttered under his breath. I quickly shushed him. I didn't feel to safe in this new nation. Everything had eyes: mushrooms, trees, bricks, coins; even the hills and mountains had eyes that would just follow you wherever you went. It was unsettling, and I didn't want to accidentally start something with a country I didn't understand ruled by a princess I didn't really know. 

That being said I was excited. I had only seen her once at a conference. Every so often the royalty of our world would come together and talk about ways to stop evil forces like Ganon or that one turtle guy. I always forget his name. From what I saw she was small and pretty. 

We got to a small corridor with no windows and a door in front of us. The door was small compared to what I'm used to. The toad walked in and shut the door loud behind him.

 My assistant looked to me and whimpered, "You're majesty I don't trust this place. Everything has eyes!"

"I agree," Link muttered. "I mean, you barely know her and now you're having tea with her at her palace in her kingdom? Not to mention those mushroom men have literally the worst voices. What are they anyway?? I mean they're slimy, loud, and there's way too many of them."

"I know," I answered. "But Peach and I have written each other for a bit of time now so I trust her. Besides if anything were to happen to me I know you have my back, Link." Link smiled and blushed. 

"THE ILLUSTRIOUS PRINCESS PEACH AWAITS YOUR ARRIVAL MY LADY!!"

We all gasped as that fungus person waddled back to us. Each footstep having a disgusting squish. "Lead the way," Link answered dryly. I elbowed him in the ribs. The Toad didn't notice. I ducked into the door as the butterflies in my stomach flew up in my throat.