Limbo

Part 2

Over the body of my dead brother standing, soaked in blood, was Me. I held the knife that stabbed his poor heart.

Is this for real? Is this why I had failed to move on? Is this the price I had to pay to lose her. My one and only?

As these thoughts clouded my mind. I didn't notice a note with my poor brother's handwriting on it. The breeze from the outside flew the paper and I caught it.

It read: "Dear Rie, your thoughts are not yours. Don't believe them."

This was maddening. I clearly did this. I killed my own brother. But how did I reach this place. The overthinking was killing me. I didn't have time for this. I was over Sammy's death. Poor Sam. He didn't have a chance to live his life. Fate took his life at 25. And he was my only tether to reality.

What is wrong with me? Am I hallucinating? Am I in .... I hear a sound.. it sounds like a bell ringing.

I open my eyes to a warmly smiling Violia. She wore a gown. Like the one the nurses wore in a hospital. She looks down at me and asks "How are you this morning Riley?"

Reflexly I answer, "Oh I'm perfect. Living In My Beautiful Olives."

I really don't know why I said that. But it seemed right.

She gave a smile and patted on my head. Gave me a little kiss on my right cheek and walked out.

I looked around. I was in my room. And there were papers stacked up. It seemed clean, it was probably Violia. She must've cleansed the whole place. While I must've passed out after all those hours of studying that case.

I feel a mild ache at the centre of my forehead. I must go and get some coffee I say to myself as I get ready.

I rose from my chair and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked weary with bags under my eyes.

Breaking my eye contact from my reflection I gaze outside the window. 

It's a beautiful day. I wonder if she's out there, picking flowers from that beautiful garden for me. Maybe I should go help her. She might feel a little chilly.

As I head out, I hear a little song from the adjacent room. I peep inside inquisitively. There are papers scattered all over the room. These papers look very familiar to me. And there's no one inside. So, I enter the room, stealthily and set my hat and cane aside to analyse the sheets.

As I pick up the papers from the floor, I notice a mark on my right hand. It's the symbol of an raven. It was clearly not drawn by me, I was right-handed after all. Weirdly, the raven seemed elegant. I wondered who gave me that tattoo?

I took the sheet of paper that was in my hand and read what was a half finished note: "Go ........... before it's too late." 

I wonder who wrote that. And to whom? This was starting to get interesting. What the hell was going on in here? I thought to myself.

Just then. I noticed a familiar syringe. With its typical crimson coloured content.

I devoured this. And suddenly it was all coming back to me. My face started turning paler and paler as realisation dawned upon me. But

Just then I heard her voice.
"Love me like death
In me is you
Make me yours
Beauty is us
Only you can save me now. "

I couldn't take this pain anymore. I can't do it. I'm useless in this dimension. I have to go now. I say to myself.

And so, I picked up the syringe and shot up the Morphanol. My mind was clouded again. It felt safe with her voice in my head. I sat on the chair relaxing my head.

I opened my eyes and find myself in the middle of a corn field. I smell the country air and deep inside in the pit of my stomach I feel guilt. This is where my I buried my brother. I hadn't thought of him since the funeral. Nobody taught me how to grieve and so I didn't. He was my only tether to the world and I his soul-mate. He passed away and I had to move on. Right?

I make my way through the clearing of the field and reach the barn. It looks nice from the outside. I see sign boards all around, but none are clear enough for me to read. So I make my way toward the barn. With each step the skies turn darker and darker. I wonder if that is an impending cyclone? I must take shelter now. Before the storm hits and takes everything with it, me included.

I take hurried steps towards the barn. The skies growl and turmoil sets in.

Anxiously, I finally reach the barn. I place my hand on the door hoping to push it open. I see a note pinned on the door.
"Your LIMBO is in the future. Open to see your past"
I wonder if somebody lives here. A troubled soul maybe. Uncertain about death, lost in conflict with his mind. 'Remind you of someone?' I hear her voice I sigh with relief at that, thank god she's here.

I push the door with all my might. And stand there. Shocked. 

Over the body of my dead brother standing, soaked in blood was Me. I held the knife that stabbed his poor heart. Is this for real.

Is this why I had failed to move on? Is this the price I had to pay to lose her. My one and only?

As these thoughts clouded my mind. I didn't notice a note with my poor brother's handwriting on it. The breeze from the outside flew the paper and surprised, I caught it. It read: "Dear Rie, your thoughts are not yours. Don't believe them."

This was maddening. I clearly did this. I killed my own brother. But how did I reach this place. The overthinking was killing me. I didn't have time for this. I was over Sammy's death. Poor Sam. He didn't have a chance to live his life. Fate took his life at 20. He was my reality. What is wrong with me?

I heard a window crash just then. My mind jolted for a second and my body shook and came back to reality. Unsure of what to do, I went up to my doppelgänger hoping to wrap my head around this. Just as I reached my Sammy's dead body, it vanished into thin air. And there stood my darling son Jamie.

Huh? Am I dreaming? Am I hallucinating again?

But all these questions were put to rest when I saw Jamie's eyes. After all, he had her eyes.

"Da-d" he mumbled. "Is that you? Mom said she won't be home for dinner. I miss him dad. Uncle Sam. " he said and fell asleep.

My poor son. He looked up at me. And it felt like I gave up on him and his mother.
He spent most of his time in his uncle's. In the countryside. The nature hopefully enriched his life. At least that was way better than living with me. His obsessed father. Who didn't give him what he needed when he needed him the most. His time.

My face turned pale at the thought of my son witnessing the horrible tragedy my cursed soul had brought upon Sammy. My eyes flood with tears. As one tear drop fell on the floor from my cheek I heard a familiar sound - the ringing bell.

No no no. I cannot leave my son alone like this. I have to comfort him. We can comfort each other. Why is this happening to me. I just have to...

I opened my eyes. It was dusk outside.
I grab a piece of paper and scribble "Your son, is with Sam. Find him.
P. S. Sammy is dead. He was killed. "
and I thrust it in my pocket.

I look out the window at the setting sun.
She's probably picking up roses for me I thought as I adjusted my coat and hat.

I ignore the flying the papers as Violia enters the room.

"Oh dear, Riley. What are you doing here?" she asked.

Reflexly I answer, "Oh nothing. I'm Living In My Beautiful Olives."

She looks at me and smiles. She looks familiar. Deep down I don't know why. She reminded me of someone very close to me. But who?

She pats my head and placed a kiss on my right cheek. Strokes them gently and says "Oh Riley. Get some rest. Big day tomorrow. It's your Birthday"