The Garden of Eden

Chapter 1: Pre-Wedding Thoughts

Eden lie on her quaint, twin-sized bed, teddy-bear tucked neatly underneath her arm as she stared at the ceiling with a blissful smile on her face. In one short day she-no, they-would begin fulfilling their duty to God by being a married, pious couple under the honorable rule of Gilead. This was everything both her family and her faith had prepared her for ever since she was little-getting married, becoming pregnant shortly after that, and bearing children. Raising her child-God be good children- to love, obey, and understand Gilead and what it means to be one of God's servants alongside her husband would be an absolute dream come true. After all these years, it was time. Finally, truly, time. This was God's calling for her.

"Eden, please have your bags packed and ready by tonight. Tomorrow will be a long day between preparing and traveling. You will need to be awake and ready to leave by at least 8." her mom shouted from the end of the staircase.

"Yes mother, I understand." She called just loud enough for her to hear. Other than her toothbrush, toothpaste, bar of soap, and the unscented jar of moisturizer she used for her skin lying on the sink, everything was packed and ready to go. As she heard her mother's soft foot-steps drift away from the staircase that led to her bedroom and into the sitting room, her mind began to drift dreamily again. She was in a haze of emotions ranging from excitement to disbelief to an underlying, enormous pressure. The same pressure every fertile women felt in Gilead-from econo-wives, to handmaids, to the rare, fertile, commander's wife; the pressure to not only get pregnant, but also, to deliver a healthy baby.

She was only fifteen, and had spent most of her life here on her family's farm in Westchester, but she wasn't too young to understand what the origins of Gilead were or to remember pieces of life before Gilead for that matter. She knew that not long after she was born, the combined effects of pollution and STDs (Eden didn't really understand what STDs were, only that they were bad) began to make themselves clear as women had more and more difficulty becoming pregnant. Even worse was when the majority of successful pregnancies began to result in unsuccessful births.

Her parents had sheltered her from a lot, but she knew what the name under Gilead was for unsuccessful births; unbabies. Babies that came out frail and de-formed. Eden didn't know what happened to the unbabies, only that they were whisked away by an Aunt, never to be seen or talked about again. In her heart, she hoped they were taken away to some kind of safe haven where the Aunts cared for them and God could watch over them, like St. Cecelia's Orphanage that used to be down the street from their farm. Eden would hop off of her bike and stand in front of their sometimes on her way home from elementary school, staring at the ominous statue of the Virgin Mary out front and the colorful, stained glass windows with depictions of Jesus and what she assumed were saints.

They seemed to stare back at her in an all-knowing, silent, sacred manner. In a way that made her feel as if the building was truly filled with the spirit of Christ, full of nuns doing God's holy work by taking care of the lonesome children. But once Gilead came into rule 5 years ago, it was torn down. Catholicism-like all former denominations of Christianity and any counter religion-were banished. Only the blanket form of Christianity that all of Gilead had to abide by existed now. Praise be though, it was God's will she supposed. Still, she missed seeing that orphanage in all its' glory, and wondered what happened to the children and nuns who resided there.

She turned on her side, snapping her mind back to the very real fear of not being able to get pregnant, or God forbid, delivering an unbaby. She had to remain focused on what was crucial after all, not let her thoughts get entangled with anything in her past. She was moving forward, becoming a married woman of faith, a true adult tomorrow. So what would happen to her if she couldn't get pregnant or had an unbaby? Surely so long as she didn't dis-obey Gilead's laws she could become a Martha. The colonies were only reserved for gender traitors and other kinds of unwomen, and she didn't intend on breaking any laws. If she got really lucky in that scenario, perhaps a commander would marry her and then they would be assigned a handmaid. Still, the fear and uncertainty nagged at her. If she were forced to become a Martha she would spend the rest of her life feeling unaccomplished and hollow. Without purpose. After all, it was her duty to her husband-and their duty to God- to be fruitful and multiply as Genesis 1:28 commanded them to.

The worry about this was too vital to go ignored. Although she knew she and her husband would pray together for success tomorrow night before they consummated their marriage-her mother had told her it was tradition to do so- she needed a moment alone with God to strengthen her faith. Placing her pillow on the floor at the foot of her bed to rest her knees on, and setting her teddy bear down so she could clasp her hands together firmly, she knelt and recited a prayer that her mother had her memorize over the last few months. A prayer that she hoped desperately would bring forth the miracle of healthy children.

My God, Creator of beauty and purity

Molder of body and soul,

I am the woman now standing before You in prayer.

Purify me at brooks of water

Anoint me with myrrh and incense

Renew light within me like the radiance of the moon.

My Lord,

My womb which You have given me

Is pure;

Place a soul in my midst.

Then may my home be whole before You,

And my insides be lined with love.

And with that, she felt a little bit better. A little more secure in her belief that God would watch over her and her husband as they attempted to start a family tomorrow night. And just a tad less nervous about possibly tripping when she walked down the aisle blind-folded at the Prayvaganza.