Beautifully Wrong

Frank's Big Entrance

"Brad, please, let's get out of here." Janet said, pulling him out.

"For God's sake, keep a grip on yourself, Janet." Brad mumbled.

"But it seems unhealthy here." She stammered.

"It's just a party, Janet." He said.

"Well, I want to go!" She insisted. They were both backing out of the room as everyone stood up. They all couldn't help but grin as the lift descended. Frank had such perfect timing.

"Well, we can't go anywhere until I get to a phone!" He replied.

"Well then ask the butler or something!" Janet persisted.

"Just a moment, Janet. We don't want to interfere with their celebration." It was obvious Brad was just trying to be polite, but Janet just wanted to leave.

"This isn't the Junior Chamber of Commerce, Brad."

"They're probably foreigners with ways different than our own. They may do some more... folk dancing." He tried reassuring her. Everyone in the ballroom chuckled. They had all cleared the runway, now standing on either side of the red carpet.

"Look, I'm cold, I'm wet and I'm just plain scared!" Janet exclaimed turning around. Then she saw Frank. Her eyes widened and her mouth moved unintelligibly.

"I'm here. There's nothing to worry about." Brad said confidently.

Frank spun around, causing Janet to scream and pass out, sliding down the side of the lift. Brad stared at him wide eyed, moving out of the way. Frank grinned at them.

"How do you do, I

See you've met my

Faithful handyman."

Magenta looked back at her brother, who was standing behind her. The drugs seemed to be taking effect already. Frank leaned over towards Brad, who was still staring at him.

"He's just a little brought down because,

When you knocked,

He thought you were the candyman." He grinned, standing up straight and started to march towards his throne.

"Don't get strung out,

By the way I look.

Don't judge a book by its cover.

I'm not much of a man,

By the light of day,

But by night I'm one hell of a lover."

Frank whipped off his cape and threw it in the chair. He had really gone all out with his party attire tonight, even his makeup seemed to be over the top.

"I'm just a sweet transvestite,

From Transexual, Transylvania, ha-ha." He jumped off his platform and moved back down the aisle towards Brad and Janet.

"Let me show you around,

Maybe play you a sound,

You both look like you're both pretty groovy." He moved past them and turned around, now pushing them back.

"Or if you want something visual,

That's not too abysmal,

We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie."

Frank smiled and moved off to the side to get a drink, also meeting new members of his special circle group of friends. He had really gone all out tonight. It was almost like he knew tonight would be his last.

"I'm glad we caught you at home." Brad said, following Frank, Janet not far behind him. "Could we use your phone? We're both in a bit of a hurry."

"Right." Janet agreed.

"We'll just say where we are then go back to the car. We don't want to be any worry." Frank suddenly threw his drink and turned back to them.

"Well, you got caught with a flat.

Well, how 'bout that?

Well, babies don't you panic." He sang, marching over to his throne. Columbia followed shortly after him, dancing when he did.

"By the light of the night,

It'll all seem all right.

I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

I'm just a sweet transvestite,

From Transexual, Transylvania."

Now, Riff-Raff and Magenta went up on the platform. They all gathered around him as he sat down; Columbia by his legs, Riff-Raff by his head and Magenta behind the chair.

"Why don't you stay for the night?"

"Night." Riff-Raff repeated.

"Or maybe a bite?"

"Bite!" Columbia made a biting motion and licked her lips.

"I could show you my favorite obsession." Magenta raised her eyebrows and smirked.

"I've been making a man," Frank played with a strand of Riff-Raff's stringy blonde hair.

"With blonde hair and a tan,

And he's good for relieving my tension.

I'm just a sweet transvestite," Frank sang, moving to stand up. Columbia looked at his legs hungrily.

"From Transexual, Transylvania, ha-ha. Hit it!" He yelled as Columbia and Riff-Raff sat in his chair while Magenta held Columbia's leg.

"I'm just a sweet transvestite," He sang, prancing down the walkway.

"Sweet transvestite." They all sang back.

"From Transexual," Frank pushed past Brad and Janet, making his way back to the lift.

"Transylvania, ha-ha." They sang with him. Now everyone stared at Frank as he stood in the lift.

"So come up to the lab,

And see what's on the slab.

I see you shiver with antici-" He stopped, causing Janet to lean forward, waiting for him to finish the word, just as he planned.

"-pation. But maybe the rain,

Isn't really to blame.

So I'll remove the cause," He chuckled, closing the lift.

"But not the symptom!" Frank finished, pulling on the lever and going up to the lab.