willne; hold

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"you may
kiss the
bride."
{l/c intended}

the day every young girl dreamed of had arrived. the day every young girl would've spent foraging through magazines to cut out the perfect images for a scrapbook for.

i laid in bed, half asleep still, thinking about my almost-husband and the fact that i was about to be mrs lenney.

sitting up slightly, i gazed at the zipped up black bag that was hanging from a hanger on the curtain pole of my bedroom that contained my dress. i was beginning to regret choosing white as will and i both knew i would end up getting something on it when we would eat. i knew he wouldn't care though.

to neither of us were appearances of the upmost importance. of course, will was a celebrity of sorts, perhaps c-list at best, and appearances for him mattered to an extent, but not when other things were prioritised.

like our love for one another.

i got up and out of bed in a swift movement, presumably fuelled with excitement and happiness for the big day. nervousness too, although that was easily trumped by the positivity. i could imagine will's face as he saw me walking down that aisle. he would likely cry before me. he was a big softie, though he'd never admit it.

there was a quiet tap on the door, and upon opening it i saw the makeup artist had arrived. i had to begin to get ready. it just didn't feel real.

—-

a couple of hours later, i was ready. i looked in the mirror almost apprehensively, but was pleasantly surprised to see that i could still see me. i just looked more refined and polished.

i could still see will's face in my mind. it almost made me cry. i couldn't wait to get down there and marry him. to be his wife. to be his. 

i left my house, followed by my father, who would walk me down the aisle, my few nieces and a couple of my friends as my bridesmaids, and my best friend as my maid of honour. it was perfect.

we got into the car - an expensive looking one that will had insisted on getting - and i felt butterflies infest my stomach.

i didn't have cold feet, god no, but i began to worry about the trivial little things. what if i trip whilst walking down the aisle? what if the cake isn't perfect? what if will has cold feet?

maybe that last worry wasn't too trivial, but highly unlikely.

i saw the church in the distance and braced myself. my dad gently took my hand and squeezed it to comfort me. it worked a little. anticipation was just killing me at that point. i just wanted to see will and finally marry him.

the car slowly stopped, and the entire car emptied before i got out. taking my father's hand, i managed to get out of the car and slowly walked to the entrance of the church.

canon began to play, which we could just about hear through the thick wooden doors. the doors then opened, and the bridesmaids walked out in an orderly way, followed by my maid of honour. every head was turned to the entrance, occasionally looking at the stunning bridesmaids, but eagerly awaiting the bride. me.

"ready, dad?" i whispered anxiously, my voice shaking slightly.

"of course, kiddo," he whispered back, linking arms with me.

we slowly made our way down to the aisle, and the second i set eyes on will everything else left. it was as if i were in a dark corridor, and he was the light at the end. all i could see was him. all i wanted was him.

he had began to cry. i knew it, the giant softie. i began to cry too at the sight of him crying. he looked incredible though. indescribable. the kind of image that can never be matched in memory - only in reality will it ever be shown to be in its purest and best form.

my dad kissed my forehead with a tear in his eye and gave me to will, who's hands i instantly held. he gave me a gentle kiss.

"i love you," he murmured, just loud enough for me to hear. i reached and wiped his tears, chuckling silently.

"i love you too, willy," i whispered, still quiet enough for only us to hear. he cracked a smile and gave a silent laugh.

the priest went through everything he was supposed to say, until it came to the vows.

"will,
i have loved you
ever since i first
laid eyes on you.
never before did i
think i could deserve
someone as perfect
as you. i love you
with every fibre of
my being."

he then began his vows.

"i have never
loved someone as
passionately as i
love you and i
know that i never
will be able to.
you are my
everything. my
reason to live,
my air to breathe."

we were both sobbing silently with happiness. the priest smiled gently at us.

"then it is my pleasure to pronounce you both husband and wife," he paused.

"you may
kiss the
bride."

will leaned over and his lips touched mine.

then everything changed.

i lost hold.

—-

i awoke with a jolt. i looked beside me at the empty space in our double bed. in my double bed.

my hand slowly reached for where he used to lay. my eyes drifted to the framed photo of the image that woke me up.

will and i kissing at the altar. the undeniable grins on our faces. the tears streaming from our eyes.

the rings we exchanged were laid beside the photo frame.

my heart ached with the agony of remembering him. my eyes stung, but i didn't want to cry. it just makes it so much more real.

"i miss you, will."

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