always find me, yea?

iii

felix pulls his shirt off, balls it up, and chucks it at the door - hoping it would get changbin to stop knocking so damn loud. he's gonna wake the rest of the members at this rate and that's certainly something no one wants.

'binnie hyung! go away!' he lays on the cool tile, a contrast from the heat he'd been gathering while curled up. the knocking stops and felix sits up, stupidly thinking his boyfriend left, (of course changbin didn't leave; felix was locked in the bathroom sobbing and wasn't telling the older why) until the knob begins to shake.

'felix, open the door!' the younger throws himself back against the tiles with a groan, only slightly regretting the choice. his chest shakes with sobs as he throws his arms over his face. he's being a horrible boyfriend right now, over something so incredibly stupid, but he can't bring himself to look the rapper in the eyes. the dream (more like nightmare) is still fresh in his mind and he knows seeing changbin right now will just make him cry more. god, why does he have to be so weird?!

'felix lee! please!'

'no!'

'yongbok! open it now!' felix feels a rush of anger and acts without thinking. he kicks the door, ignoring the pain it sends through his toes. he lets more tears fall down his face as he kicks again and one last time for good measure. the other side is silent before he hears rapid footsteps nearing the door.

'what the hell are you doing?! the other boys need their sleep- and you're fucking lucky i'm the only one up because woojin hyung would go about this a completely different way!' chan. his voice was quiet but felix could hear it and understand some of the said korean enough to know it was chan. chan, who accepts him and loves him and will know what words to tell him to calm down and be able to face his boyfriend again.

'felix is in there sobbing! i don't know what to do and he won't let me in-'

"felix!" he hears a grunt of changbin and can only guess it was chan pushing him out of the way. his voice lowers into a whisper and felix can tell he's pressed against the door when he asks, "i'm here. do you need to slip?"

the australian sits up and scoots over to the crack, pressing his mouth against it. "no. but i do need you in here."

"okay, lixie. open the door and i'll come in." felix nods and unlocks the door before scooting back against the side of the tub.

chan enters with a concerned face, shutting the door before changbin got the chance to look in.

"lix? are you alright?"

felix shakes his head and allows the older to coddle him into his arms. "i had a bad dream, channie hyung!" he digs his face into his shoulder and breaths in, letting a few weak sobs escape, "no one understood! they didn't even try! they just screamed and i had to stop and channie i don't wanna stop!! this makes me happy and makes you happy and i just want them all happy!! why can't they see that!?!" chan sighs, ignores the drop of honorifics, and beings petting the youngers fading hair and rocking them slightly.

"lixie, calm down buddy. it's gonna be okay. it was a dream and you know that they aren't gonna do that-"

"you don't know that!" he almost falls back with the force of felix pushing his shoulders, but thankfully with the younger taking up most of his lap, he balances out. he raises his hands to the other's shoulders and gives them a comforting squeeze.

"yes, i do, lix. we've talked about this. you're freaking out for nothing. when the boys find out they'll be fine with it. and if they don't like it then they can ignore it! felix, this makes you happy so it makes no sense for the others to bash at it." felix keeps his head down and nods. chan watches some tears fall from his eyes onto his own lap.