🥫All The Tin Cans In The World🥫 [COMING OUT IN JUNE, 2019]

🥫Prologue🥫

PROLOGUE

I have decided to take the moment to reflect upon my life - this fibre of spindles — that I had began to circulate myself around, and it has been a monotonous time (a very long while indeed) since I have strapped my mind into its time machine, travelling back to the past. Quite frankly, I am not entirely sure if I am ready for this, but I am willing, from the roots of my heart, to give it ago. Someone, who I have forgotten now — very upsetting — had told me (when I was just still a little, clumsy girl) that releasing emotions was a way of gluing yourself back together, therefore, I do hope and pray to the heavens that this scheme works.

I have to take a step back into the realm one step at a time.

And to whoever is reading this, I hope you will survive this battle of these words of smudged ink and tattered pages. Writing is not my best skill, so I apologise for the accidental errors and for the messed up cursive handwriting.

If you are, however, a fellow friend of mine — although, many have perished away before my very dim eyes into the kingdom above — I would like to let you know that I am safe and well. For now...

Do not come looking for me. You will not find me. Nor do you need to find me.

And to my humble, beloved friend, Mrs.Maggot, I am ever so, so sorry that I am breaking this promise right now; however, I am ever so sure that you will find the time in your favour to forgive my dreaded soul. You were always the blessed, kind-hearted angel after all. I'm sure you're enjoying yourself up in your little world.

I remember, quite vividly, the time where I fell down from the sky but you picked me back up again. Again and again. Until I grew myself some gracious wings and learnt how to fly by my own; if the heavens could open up the gates, the words sealed in my heart will never flow enough to express my full utter gratitude. You were that glowing light that radiated in the darkness (which was engulfing me and penetrating my mind.); through the dry, cracked grounds, you managed to uproot me into a beautiful, golden sunflower — due to the waterfall of your minerals, nourishments and protection that helped me to blossom and flourish rightfully.

I never did wish to say goodbye. To say goodbye to the old pages in my memories. I wonder if as I'm gone, you will be reopening those ancient, torn pages. Although, probably not. You have probably flicked way past in the book.

Next in line is you, Thomas; I love you so dearly well. I know you don't remember me. Nevertheless, I remember you very, very well; I shall never forget the Cupid arrows that struck me in my heart and sent me swimming after you in rivers of passion and love. Although, the memory is hidden behind a giant, grey cloud of nebula in your consciousness, I will never cast you aside.

Layla, I hope to see you in heaven soon. You did not deserve to die. I did. But it's ok — really — I will be joining you soon. These last few days, I thought about you the most. You were always an angel in my heart (physically and symbolically). Rest in peace, my dear friend...

Issac, farewell. I hope the jungle you are placed in provides more routes for you. And then the leaves of the trees will slap you across the face and remind you that you are walking into a trap.

And mum, well, I have no words... I have not seen you since... Wow. I must be incredibly, incredibly old; I do not recall when I last saw your pale visage. Or when I last touched your flaky, wrinkly paper-like skin. Or when I last felt your cotton-felt hair between my bony fingers. Or the exhalation of dampness and mould wafting up my nostrils, burning the insides. Just writing this description down, is beginning to send my mind chasing back after those small treasures in my memories.

Well, I do not have very long. Not long at all.

I'm sorry that the next time you see me I'll be a shadow passing by you, with a pall covering my sunken visage. And there will be a pall covering the heavens.

Goodbye.

Love,
Astrid Hallow