Promise Me

Untitled Part 2

 Despite being curled up under warm blankets, in a warm room, Cuphead was cold- freezing, almost- shaking. His blurred vision hardly let him see anything in his already dark room, and he curled in on himself further, pulling the blankets into his chest. He tried to stifle his sobs. He tried calm his shakes. He tried to quiet his breath. Dice was right there, sound asleep beside him, and he didn't want to wake him up... Especially not like this...

More tears spilled from his already drowned eyes, burning his skin as they ran down. Emotional pain completely wrecked his body, worsening his tremors, and forcing a rough gasp out of him. He wanted to breathe, he wanted to pant, and cough, and gasp for air, but he found himself holding his breath, trying not to make any more noise. It only made it worse. His lungs started to ache, and he held a hand over his mouth, hoping to hold back any other sounds that wanted to come out.

Why couldn't he just feel like a norman person? What did he deserve to feel this way? He felt so broken and so tormented, and the only thing that he had to blame was himself. His brain was fucking up; his feelings were fucking up. Maybe all the things that happened to him as a kid had some sort of twisted domino effect that lead up to these feelings, but that was over now. Why couldn't it feel over. Why was it necessary that he ended up with depression. He just didn't understand why he wasn't allowed to be okay. He was loved. He was safe. He had stability. He had everything.

Yet here he was. Another miserable sound escaped him, and he hated it. He just wanted it to stop. The pain. The emptiness. The waves. The wastelands. The feeling alone in rooms filled with people. The watered down happiness. The faked smiles. The feigned feelings. All of it. He just wanted it to s t o p....

...

But it had been years. Years since he started feeling this way... He couldn't make it stop... could he...?

He hiced, and his lungs forced air into him, forcing it out just as fast. That taste of air reminded him how much he needed it, causing him to draw it in again. That one didn't stay in either, so he tried to bring it back in again, and again, until he found himself hyperventilating. Sobs started to escape him, as well as coughs as he tried to breathe through all the snot and spit.

Oh god.

Oh god.

It was never going to stop. It was never going to be over, was it?

And arm wrapped itself around his waist, and his heart panged. Shit.

Shit.

He'd woken him up.

Guilt tugged at him, and he felt the urge to curl into himself further

The arm around him pulled him back until he was pressed against its owner's chest. "...Cuphead?"

He couldn't find it in himself to answer. He just wanted to shrivel away. He should have gotten up to cry somewhere else... He would have if he could've convince his body that it was capable of moving...

Dice''s head nuzzled his shoulder, and he could just barely make out the scent of his cologne through his stuffy nose. He was on the verge of spilling out an apology when the arm around him tightened snugly, and Dice wrapped his body around his, spooning him. Cuphead felt his trimmers calm slightly, but other than that, there was no change. He let out a strangled noise, trying to make himself quiet again.

"It's alright, sweetheart... You can cry." Dice nuzzled his shoulder. "I'll be right here with you."

A sense of relief washed over him. Dice had always been so good to him... Patient... accepting... loving... He cried more freely now, but still couldn't help trying to stop every now and then, failing. He cried until he couldn't anymore, until the unbearable pain was replaced with a more empty pain, a more tired out, exhausted pain. Until his eyes were dried out, and his mouth was dry from all the crying. Until his breath was even, and he could lean back calmly into his lover, who was tracing lines into his stomach.

He sighed. How much longer...

"Feeling any better...?" Dice mumbled gently, pressing a kiss against the side of his head.

"Yeah..." This feeling was much more manageable...

He scattered a few more kisses on his face and shoulder before nuzzling him again. "I'm glad."

They fell into silence.

"Darling... Do you think you'll be able to sleep?"

Cuphead thought about it for a moment. "...Yeah, I do... Will you?"

"Mhm..."

They lapsed back into silence, and eventually, both drifted off to sleep.