* p.i.n.k + w.h.i.t.e * c.m.b AU

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Love is like rain.

It comes when it pleases.

~l a u r i e~

January 19: Homeroom - 8:29 am

    I began to write in my notebook. I was always that "monotone" kid that sat in the middle of the class. Funny thing is, nobody notices me. It's like I'm Casper. I bestowed upon myself the gift writing. It took years to perfect it. But it was no use. I wrote about my feelings, I wrote songs, I even make myself laugh with the things I write. But even as I sit here in class, trying to come up with something to write about, I contemplate so many things all at once. I then closed my eyes and fell into darkness.

   January 19: Home - 12:57 (midnight)

     I never approved of myself. Writing down my feelings in this book made no change to how I live now. My mom doesn't even pay attention to me, and if she ever does, it's for the wrong reasons. I've always wished for love and true happiness. But what's the point? I'll never be as good as those girls with high-heels and extensions, and so much makeup on their faces. Nobody will love me as simple and as ugly as I am. Even now I cry myself to sleep, knowing that I'll never get an A+ in any of those categories of perfection. I'd never realized till' now that I've been living a lie. I'd have to act all nice and peppy around people, but no one knows how I really feel inside. Everybody perceives me as the nicest person, and that I love myself. I'd never realized that my own insecurities have taken over me. To the point where I cry myself to sleep or try to cut myself knowing that I can manage the pain. All of these thoughts are making me ponder more than ever. trying to sleep will be a struggle. good night...

January 20: Home - 7:32 a.m 

      So this morning was a hassle. I woke up to the sound of a truck, not even my alarm. I wasn't sure if I wanted to write today. After last night, I'm not really sure I want to write in my journal anymore. But, today I found out that we have a new neighbor. A NEW neighbor. In our apartment complex, there aren't many people that move out because it's the "best" neighborhood. Now that there finally are some new people, I'll have to be all fake again. Welp. Time for school. I'm not sure if I'll write in you again, but if I do, I'll make sure to keep you updated. Wish me luck, I'm taking the highway to hell this morning.

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i really want some waffles. i am addicted

pls help me. leggo my eggo fam.

-laurie