Scum

Sex Sells

I believe in that thought wholeheartedly.
Maybe if I did that I would be a rich man but people are easy for free samples and not for buying something expensive.
But I would of liked to be payed for some of shit I had to deal with when it comes to some of the nights I had...

When it comes to women theirs one person who sticks in my mind for so many wrong reasons.
She wasen't ugly at all actually pretty beautiful in a way but a bit boney and thats not what I have a problem with.
In short it was her vagina.
It was like dry mackerel with every movement of my fingers they were coated with this god awful smell.
It didn't matter what you did she couldn't get wet either no matter how hard I tried.
But I admit maybe I lacked effort unconciously because I am not lying about the smell.
It did smell like fish, partially rotten fish I may add.
No one really wants that coating your dick and you know what this girl thinks of my bewildered expression? Oh god he is a virgin, took charge while I was bewildered or maybe even fucking particially knocked out by the freaking stench!

Then stuck it in her chum bucket right down to the base......More cringe then pleasure crept up in my brain at that point...
I don't know what my face looked like maybe it was some mix of confusion  with whatever else but it made her thought more real to her and she did what she wanted.
Is this rape?
It's not like I wanted to fuck her at all even the fingers i fingered her with mark me with complete fucking regret. If someone were to smell me at that point..I wouldn't like to know what they would think espicially of my dick.
I wouldn't doubt they would think I did something weird with a creature of the sea...
Who knows maybe she's living proof of a fucking mermaid turn human with the eye burning level of that smell...Well call me a goddamn believer.

I'll be honest I cried, all i could think about was how am i going to wash this smell out then these tears made her touched...Which was terrible.
She started holding my face and putting her face way close to mine to the point when that weird thing happens and you see one eye.
You know the kind of shit you laugh at as kid but honestly it freaked me fucking out while she rocked on my cock with that cringe worthy smelling thing that now started to get wet.
It felt like slime under the circumstances....I don't know maybe the fucking uneasiness made it all weird, her pleasure sounds even started to sound like some unknown creature...
Whatever and I stress I am not overexaggerating about this shit, I dealt with a few whiffy fannies but thoose I could deal with.
That one.
That one was like prepping onions, it's enough to make you cry. I already told you about my fucking tears of regret, a man dosen't easially cry just drill that into your fucking mind okay?
And just another tidbit of information to show you how bad it fucking was, i think took something like a week to get the stink out of my skin....it soaked into me...That idea makes me cringe even fucking more.
I still cum though, that smell may be killer but she knew how to fucking move.
That said if you rubbed a dick the right way it will cum regardless of situation....Shameful bullshit.
We did a few times though....Soon as she fell asleep, I left or well better to say retreated, I couldn't sleep feeling so dirty and not in the goddamn good way.
I left for a new city after that, a new apartment and town just in case we met besides rumors about me spread by her or any other tom or sue...I don't care for it...It's easy to be classed as easy when the notches of your bedpost get a little too vibrant..
No one wants to be the 'tester' to prove rumors espicially ones about being a sniveling virgin....Never going to live that crap down.

I don't know maybe rumors live longer then truth...

Anyway she was the worst woman I slept with, she was a bit stuck up too for some bonus minus points if you want.

But the worst guy....Well I think he is the closest thing I got to realationship.
Don't get me wrong it's not sentimental but familiarity.
Shamefully enough he is part the reason I get by because his gifts are constant thing so in some ways I stay in trend in this ever changing world, not like I am proud of that though...
It's nothing to be proud of at all.
Still don't get this wrong it's not gifts of sentiment but apoligy and I guess maybe a bribe?
You see this guy has got a family, some amount of kids and a wife he loves dearly.
I guess you're thinking he is not in love with her because he is fucking a dude, namely he is fucking me but I guess it's not a lie and maybe it's not the truth either.
Maybe he just in love with the idea of the 'perfect family', you know the whole family unit thing?
Still maybe I couldn't call him gay he managed to make thoose kids with her but I guess I couldn't call him bisexual either, he is just a guy that loves getting fucked in the ass.
You know if his wife donned a strap on and fucked him from time to time I don't think he would bother to meet with me at all, it's as simple as that.

Tell you truth I think being gay is not about being fucked or fucking a certain way but being attracted to the male body right?
I don't think he is attracted to males? If anything he is always facing away sometimes buried in pillows absorbing the feeling when he is not shouting homophobic things.

But you know if it directed at me I couldn't even be certain...

All I can tell you without a doubt is if I stop he will look at me confused amongst the shame, that kind of desperate face like when someone finds you shitting  but you are too stunned from the encounter to voice words like "look away" or whatever.

It's best to describe our connection as me being a vibrator he pays to change the batteries on. It's not a guaranteed thing to exchange something in return but when it's needed, it is done. I guess this as close as a benefactor their is, it's not a good thing but a thing.

Yes, he actually gives me something for my time and strangely he is something that is reaccuring in my life but it's not a stable thing. The thing about it is that a mix of a stalker with a jealous ex vibe yet at the same time, one of those homophobe bashers.

It's just too friggin complicated but the odd gift doesn't solve anything or make the problem more escalated.

If I had to define it? Maybe it's a thin line....A line that once it breaks, it will bring a tragedy of many different kinds.

I guess I will be blamed to enable him.

No one is without sin as they say...

Though it is not something I want to deal with.