[ ABSTRACT LINES & other poems ]

7.If you stayed

A strange feeling curled beneath
The sheets in my bed still cold
My feet numb, my room empty
You know that sinking drop
When your stomach touches your toes
all the darkness around you feels
Like the night sky
Endless and lonely
I never intended it to be this way
For I feel the thuds in my chest
And pulse in my neck
Suddenly my home didn't feel lived in

The problem with holding on
Is when you let go
You never know how long you'll fall
Or when you'll land
promises were mean to be broken
secrets crafted to share
It's you, it's all about you
When will it be me
Who ties the knot between us
A crimson bow wrapped around
an unknown presence

If this was moving on
Why am i waiting still waiting
Waiting for why(s) and no(s) and yes(s)
God this is starting to feel like
You were all I had
His warmth was all I had
Yet mistakes were mine
will I ever stop thinking about
You(s) and your (s)
Problematic sympathetic
Wreck only to find nothing at the end

Anger enjoys me too much
It's arms around my waist
Time wasted lip tasted
Sins like rules to live
Yet I'm still here
Craving revenge like sugar
Bite after bite
Till I'm dancing on the table
When our bodies blurred to
Silhouettes forming into blindness

It's her it's him it's we it's us
Little by little eating down on you
Feeding the urge to feel
Wanting to touch to hold
If I had cared for you
Would I have still thought about myself ?
Did letting you in inside my own ripped pages
Make you stop reading me out loud
You never know how much you loved them
Until you loose them
But love is only thing you're letting go

It wasn't me you were be afraid of
But the person you'd become if you stayed