Something Happened

Chapter 6

In the past few days, I have turned my blank green notebook into a mess of scribbled thoughts and poems. I had never been good at poetry, but that was before new emotions wrapped themselves around my gut and throat, constricting me. I look at what I had previously been writing;

I'm trapped and alone, always at home. Hiding from the day, as it passes without a say. Day morphs into night, it passes out of spite. I always want more time, even though I'm only alive part-time. My mind is a constant battle, I'm starting to unravel. Before I could continue, my phone pings;

I'm here
-Benny

It's already Saturday? Where had the time gone? I quickly throw my hair into a ponytail and throw on some leggings and a workout shirt and grab my windbreaker. Before I walk out the door I take a few deep breaths. I can do this. Just kick their asses then I can come home.

Then, I walk out the door and hop in Benny's truck.

***

"Okay, so there will be two teams. Benny and Ethan on team one and Estelle and Damon on the other. I will be the referee," Jamie tells us. I am sad to see Benny go, I was hoping we would be teamed up together.

I follow Damon to one side of the fenced-in backyard. They had a nice house, maybe three or four bedrooms. I don't know if they all live together here or if there are parents somewhere, but it's not my business to ask.

They have cheap nets put up that look like they had just put them up before we got here but I didn't mind. Jamie throws the ball into the middle and we all run towards it. Come on, Estelle, this is what you trained for, this is what you lived for not too long ago.

I get to the ball first and run towards the net, passing it to Damon who makes the shot. We steal the first point. The game continues like this for a while, getting the ball and passing it. Damon and I won, of course.

"That's not fair! Benny didn't even make the girls soccer team!" Ethan yells, light-heartedly. Everyone laughs at his joke but I scowl, is he dissing the girl's soccer team?

"Rich from a guy who just got his ass kicked by a girl," Jamie says. Somehow I still feel like they are dissing the girl's team but it's slightly better.

"We did good," Damon tells me, putting his hand up for a high five. This stumps me. Touching another man? Someone whose not my brother or Benny? That didn't turn out in my favor last time. I reach up and touch my hand to his.

"You call that a high five, this is a goddanm high five!" Ethan yells, slapping his hand roughly against Benny's. Benny let out a little yelp and shakes his hand off.

"Don't listen to them, Stella, your high fives are great," Benny says, coming up to me and giving me a side hug. I lean into him and we just kind of stand like that, not knowing what to do now that the game is over. Plus, I am enjoying his comfort. I remember reading somewhere that the human body craves touch, I wonder if Benny is someone that my body feels comfortable enough to crave his.

In a friendly way, of course. Benny and I will never be more than friends. We wouldn't make a good couple, but we do make a great friendship.

"Awe, y'all are too cute!" Ethan screeches. He sure is an odd one.

"Careful Ethan, I think she's PMSing. She's been really weird lately and I don't want you to lose your head," Benny whispers to him.

My face burns with embarrassment, and even though I am completely pissed that Benny said something like that, I nuzzled further into him to hide my red face. It is partly my fault, I know that I have been acting weird ever since the party, I try not to, but it's not always that easy-pretending to be fine when you're not.

"I hate you," my words come out muffled through his shirt.

"You're never going to get a boyfriend with that attitude, sweets," Benny replies, which just makes me want to curl into a ball and die even more than I already do. Can't he see that he's embarrassing me?

"You guys aren't dating?" Damon says, chiming into the conversation. This makes me remove my head from Benny's chest.

"No, who in the world thought of that?" I ask.

"Like everyone, you guys are so... I don't know, relationshipy. Plus, we never see you with anyone else, not even the soccer team, not anymore."

"Oh, well, I guess I just don't have much in common with them anymore," I tell them lamely. All of the guys nod as if they understand. I'm sure they don't.

"Well, do you guys want to watch a movie?" Damon asks us.

"Sure," Benny tells them before I could reject the offer. Something about sitting in a room with several guys doesn't sit well with me. It leaves an acidy feeling in my throat and a sinking feeling in my stomach.

***

Much to my own dismay, Jamie sits on my right and Damon sits on my left on the long brown couch. Benny and Ethan sit next to Jamie, Benny being the furthest away. I feel uncomfortable and slightly scared. Especially since we are all pressed up against each other, all trying to fit on the same couch. I have the urge to go sit on the single chair off to the side but that would bring unwanted attention to me, so I stay where I am.

The house is full of darker shades and it seems to be two stories. There is a smaller sized kitchen, but an awkwardly large living room. There are large a few windows that are covered by dark curtains and I wonder if they ever open them. They have a flat-screen tv that is around the same size as my own and one of the guys but a disk inside of it. Here we go.